Potty training FAILING

[Cait73]

Day 4 only 3 successful hits on the potty, about 20 misses I don't know what I'm doing wrong

He's 4.5 chose pants and potty got sticker chart and a reward he really wants

I follow him round with the potty, I've tried asking him a lot I've tried leaving him to it nothing works

I'm loosing the will to live

Sorry HRTFT but just wait. Potty training is so easy when they're ready and awful
for everyone when they're not. If it's hard it's not the right time.

Isn’t 3.5 a little on the old side to start? Anyway, nappies are firmly lodged in his mindset so it’ll take time. Pants only on, offer the potty every half hour, separate high-value rewards for wees and poos, make a huge fuss, watch the Ladybird and Peppa (lots of others) videos online, watch them while he’s on the potty/loo, read the books while he’s on the potty/loo, buy a soft toy that is his Potty Buddy to capture his imagination and who accompanies him to each trip and brings new pants as a gift and helps him bin his nappies… live and breathe it for a few days. It won’t happen overnight, but stick at it and don’t go back to nappies at any point.

I also don’t agree that they have to be ready, I think like anything, you can teach them it’s the new way of life. It just takes time. The three day method has created a lot of false expectations in parents.

@Herejustforthisone I never even heard of the 3 day method, I just thought half term and no preschool would be a good time to give it a go.

Yes 3.5 IS a little late I'm really sorry we've not conformed to your ideals, but this child is a bit special I just don't feel the need to go into details.

Suffice to say he was removed from traumatic abusive circumstances and other issues have been more pressing.

I'm on it now and i know he's going to ace it like he has everything else in his life, in time. I was just looking for encouragement and support, as I struggle from time to time. It's over 20 years since I patented a small person but I too will ace this, in time.

Thank you everyone who's told me to relax, once I've finished todays washing I definitely will and I'm not going to let it get to me tomorrow.

@Cait73 my mum trained my brother by putting a ping pong ball in the toilet to aim for....he loved it!

You're doing great and someone recently said to me, aim to be out of nappies by school. You've still got almost a year. When he's ready it'll slot into place.

@darlingsweetpea funny enough he uses the potty at preschool and the teacher gets him to wee on a duck lol I might try that tomorrow!

I've just realised my original post said I follow him round with the potty which is misleading I'm really not that obsessive; I meant if he wants to play upstairs or in the garden I make sure the potty's with him

Thank you for your encouragement

@Cait73 I completely get what you mean about following them around with the potty. I was exactly the same for about the first 3 weeks and he just got gradually better at getting to it in time.
Only today he came down from playing upstairs to get me to go back upstairs with him to go to the toilet. Its amazing that it suddenly clicks and you don't even realise until you think when was the last accident? Oh yeah it was 10 days ago or whatever.

I definitely think small rewards like stickers or chocolate buttons help some times.

And don't listen to anyone who says he's too old. You were waiting for the right time for both of you.
It's not only the child that has to be ready for potty training, the grown up needs to be ready too.

I wasn’t making a swipe at you for ‘leaving it late’, as you’re his grandmother I assumed something was probably afoot. I just meant that he would have been quite settled with the idea that he wore nappies and so for him it is likely to be a harder and longer transition.

Before I started training mine, I put cheeky wipes in his pants so he could feel when he’d gone for a wee. Made it uncomfortable enough to get him to use the potty and also to help him identify and link up the sensations. Is he exclusively in pants in the day now?

Oh you can get stickers to go in the potty which change colour when they wee on them. They’re really effective.

I don't think there's such a thing as a ready time.

I'd emphasise what a faff it is to clear up wees and get him to help wipe the floor, say oh dear we could be playing instead of this etc. Don't go over the top but make sure he gets the message that using potty = more time to play.

@Herejustforthisone yes exclusively in pants now I'm not going back I think that'll really confuse him

UPDATE today was our biggest sticker success day so far!! Yesterday a little friend came round, he's toilet trained and my 3 year old watched his friend help himself to the toilet twice, today he's got up and we've had 5 hits number 1's and number 2's I could cry!!!

Somethings obviously just clicked, he's in a pull up nappy in bed but for the first time ever he's got himself out of bed twice to wee on the toilet

SO HAPPY

Thank you everyone who told me not to give up