Mum guilt, really struggling

[firsttimemama1994]

Mum guilt is killing me, literally 😢

So when my baby was 4 weeks old, she scratched herself which has left a scar on her beautiful face - were now 4 months later and it's still there, indented in her skin.

Your probably thinking, how on earth did you manage to do that to your baby? You wouldn't believe me that I'm honestly the most attentive mum.

It's basically a really unfortunate accident, that I am entirely to blame for. I know it wouldn't have happened it I'd have cut her nails better, or left her mitts on longer.

How do I accept that I have managed to do this to her? I'll look at it forever and hate myself. No one else seems to have allowed this to happen to their baby. 💔💔💔

I know there's more to worry about in the world and people with bigger problems. I just can't swallow that I have caused this, it really really hurts.

Please be nice, I'm very fragile xx

I would echo others and say you might need to visit the GP as this is an extreme reaction. Sorry you are feeling this way.

I can promise you that all parents have injured their children without meaning too here’s a list we have managed so far:

• clipping nails as a baby made them bleed
• hit their head on the car door getting them into the car
• fell down the stairs holding them and has a suspected broken leg (it wasn’t luckily) however they then did jump off a slide and break their arm

The scar will fade and I can guarantee they will get other scars. I still have some on my knees from falling over as a child. My brother still has one on his chin from falling into the coffee table.

When DD was 1 I was late home from work one day and DH took her out a walk on her reins. She fell and chipped her front tooth. I was absolutely horrified- it looked awful and her little face was all bruised. I thought about it every day and tortured myself over how it was my fault for not coming home in time etc etc. I went to the dentist multiple times with her and couldn't get over the guilt.

She is now 3. I can honestly say I never think about it anymore. She has 'grown into' her teeth and it's actually barely noticeable now. For me, I became totally fixated on the incident being my fault, but one day, for no apparent reason I realised I just didn't think about it anymore. She is happy and healthy and has such a busy little social life- such a relatively minor thing hasn't affected her at all and this is highly unlikely to affect your child either.

I hope you feel better about this soon in the way that I did. Looking back I wish I hadn't allowed it to take up so much of my head space, but at the time it was out of my control. Sending lots of love.

Also, I should say it's amazing how their skin can heal at that age- I know it's completely different, but DD had massive scarring from strawberry birthmarks- if you'd told me the scarring would be barely visible by the time she was 3 I wouldn't have believed you- but it is!!

neals yard wheatgerm oil. Every day. Got rid of my scars (I had a very large scar) and my daughters chicken pox scars. It will be gone on a few weeks

@user1494050295

Thank you. What kind of scars? This one is indented so I don't think anything will help but time unfortunately x

Surgery on tummy for me and chicken pox on my daughters face. Seriously you have nothing to lose

My little boy fell onto cement steps when he was about 3 and got a cut across his nose. It turned into a scar that lasted into adolescence, but then somehow it went away in his mid teenaged years. Maybe you’ll have similar luck.

Update of scar to anyone who may look at this in future, it's basically disappeared 😊 thanks so much everyone. I now realise there's so many more accidents to worry about now I have a toddler on the loose 🫣

Really pleased to see the scar healed and to hear you’re in a better place too.