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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Is it possible to have been denied access to your own child, but be a teacher?

59 replies

Evira · 05/10/2022 22:02

My friend is in this situation. Primary teacher, ex wife has denied him access to his child.

We have become closer, but I'm trying to find out more before committing to a relationship with him.

OP posts:

Stressfordays · 06/10/2022 19:01

To my ex and his now ex partner, I was one of these vindictive women, they preached it to whoever they met and all over social media. Then he did to her kids what he did to mine and she lost all her kids and they both got convicted of child abuse. Dont take the chance, she just might have a very good reason.

vdbfamily · 06/10/2022 19:05

I also have a friend who has not seen his children for years due to stories his ex made up or embellished. She also got the kids to lie. CAF ASS believed her and her cannot afford to go through the courts further. His oldest started to visit as soon as she was old enough but she was pretty messed up by then and using drugs. The whole situation has really opened my eyes as to how unfair the' system' can be when they have not lived in that family and are taking one person's word against another's. She was another mum who would not being the kids for arranged contact etc.
I am surprised this friends has stayed sane as he adores his children.

Wibbly1008 · 06/10/2022 19:05

Vapeyvapevape · 06/10/2022 01:14

The wife could just be vindictive.

….Then he should have gone to court?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education General parenting

MolliciousIntent · 06/10/2022 19:06

HighlandPony · 06/10/2022 18:37

Everyone has thousands just sitting about to throw at legal proceedings in the midst of a cost of living crisis dont they?

Show quote history

It costs very little to represent yourself, and the bar for being allowed no contact at all is very, very high.

redbigbananafeet · 06/10/2022 19:13

Evira · 06/10/2022 08:08

Thanks, I am being told a vindictive ex who wants to keep her child to herself and within her own family.

He is saying he can't risk his job by going back to court.

I can't see the correlation of ‘risking his job’ and this only being about a vindictive ex.

I wouldn't be with a man who would give up access to his children in order to keep his job.

Hearthnhome · 06/10/2022 19:16

Evira · 06/10/2022 18:21

Thank you for helping me.

I've talked with him some more. He does pay regular maintenance. He did have access to his DC in a contact centre but ExW didn't always turn up.

She claims she is keeping their DC away to provide stability.
My friend has been to court. This was when he was living with a previous gf and her children. He was scared that he would be asked to move out or gf would have her children removed.
He is frightened, he says, that his ExW will be able to make accusations in court that will stick. She has already sent in a long letter detailing his behaviours and that of his family (also teachers).
There is no criminal behaviours.

Can his Exe make unfounded claims without any criminal record? Would this prevent him seeing DC? Would this lose him his job? Would I be at risk, like his previous GF of endanering my children?

It doesn't add up. I thought that the courts really fought to give fathers access.

There are women that do this. My mother was one. Though in fairness she had really poor mental health and in the 80s no one would provide her any support apart from being sectioned. Which she was once. She was released to my grand parents care. Took us a disappeared. She moved us about a fair bit for a few years. She eventually took us back and we lived with my gp for a bit and she got more stable.

However, the vast majority of ‘my ex blocks contact’ is absolute bullshit and I believe this man is talking shit. And these are the reasons why

Going to court wouldn’t impact his career

a court wouldn’t force Him and his girlfriend to live separately or remove her children, for him to see his child. Unless that woman was a danger to children, in which case visitation would be in a contact centre, if he chose to remain in that house AND she would be unlikely to have her own children.

It’s the usual story that men start seeking access when they find a girlfriend. Usually because that girlfriend questions it or calls for the story and offers support ‘we can do this together’.

To me they are all red flags.

BadNomad · 06/10/2022 19:22

Does he pay CM? Because if he takes her to court, and she accuses him of stuff that gets him fired, she won't get any CM from him. If she's willing for that to happen, then she either has plenty of money herself, or she really feels that strongly about keeping the children away from him.

TooBigForMyBoots · 06/10/2022 19:22

@Evira Family Court is so closed and confidential that RPs along with NRPs have complaints about it.

Your friend's story doesn't add up at all. Sorry.

jewishmum · 06/10/2022 19:26

Yes, and it's possible to be a foster carer who had their own kids taken by social. Ironic isn't it!

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