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To give baby a dummy - yes or no?

51 replies

Bubbles021 · 29/09/2022 23:57

We have a beautiful 7 week old baby girl. She is the first baby that we have brought home (her brother sadly passed away last year when I was 30 weeks pregnant), so we are very new to parenting and probably overthink everything because of our experience with our son.
We have made it to 7 weeks without giving our daughter a dummy. We are not against them (my husband had one as a child), it just hasn't felt necessary.
She has recently started sucking her thumb as a comfort method. This has made us question whether a dummy would be better rather than leaving her to suck her thumb. Neither of us really know much about the pros/cons of dummies, so before we jump into the decision we'd really like to hear other people's experiences and opinions. Family members have suggested she needs one, but we want to make an informed decision.
Also, are there any specific brands that are known to be good? We really do know nothing about them, so any and all information is much welcomed! Thank you!

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PeekabooAtTheZoo · 30/09/2022 00:00

You can always offer it but IME babies decide for themselves if they want them. My oldest still won’t give his dodie up at nights but youngest won’t take one and never has, despite seeing her big brother enjoying his! I never took one either.

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Flowergirl89 · 30/09/2022 00:23

I’ve given all four of my children a dummy and it’s a life-saver. DC 1 and 2 stopped it themselves when they were teething at around 7 months. DC3 I took it away around 15 months when she was at an age where she was ok without it but didn’t really realise I had taken it away. Now DC4 is 9 months old and still loving her dummy 😊 only downside can be that they can wake up if dummy falls out but not found that to be the case with mine. As for which dummies
I’ve always used Mam.

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gretr · 30/09/2022 00:33

I tried to give mine one and they just spat it out constantly. I was feeding for 10hrs at one point and it would have been an amazing respite. My mother hated them, and she actually suggested it! If it gives you a break, I would definitely try it, I just wished mine would have taken one. But, after 8wks, they then slept for 6hrs fully, then at 12wks they did 10 a night, so I can’t complain. Absolutely nothing to do with having a dummy, but just wanted to say that there is hope with a sleeping/feeding breakthrough eventually!!! Good luck!

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Bubbles021 · 30/09/2022 09:10

Thank you 😊

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Raindancer411 · 30/09/2022 09:16

I offered both of mine a dummy. One had it and one didn't want it at all...

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Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 30/09/2022 09:23

SIDS prevention recommend them.
Good enough reason imo.

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HaveringWavering · 30/09/2022 09:25

I wasn't a fan but offered my DS one as an experiment. He loved it and I found it a really good way to soothe him. As he got older we had a strict rule that it was only for naps and night time eg he was never allowed to walk about with it in. However we had a struggle to get rid of it and he was still having it at night when he was nearly 4.Blush We ceremonially binned it together on his 4th birthday.

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Seeline · 30/09/2022 09:25

Used one with my first, but the second just wouldn't take one.

Personally I wouldn't bother if your baby has found their thumb works. They can't loose those in the middle of the night and wake up screaming because they want it back.... again

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TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 30/09/2022 09:28

If she's found her thumb & that comforts her I wouldn't bother. She won't lose that at night!!

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toastofthetown · 30/09/2022 09:29

I’d prefer the dummy over thumb sucking if your baby will take it. You can remove a dummy later, but it took a hand injury (after years of trying to break the habit) to stop me sucking my thumb as a child

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Skinnermarink · 30/09/2022 09:31

I never offered, I’m not even sure exactly why now it was just something I didn’t want to do! I’m in the minority though. Every other baby I know has one or had one. Who knows if it would have made my life easier.

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CollieWobble22 · 30/09/2022 09:31

Yes mine had a dummy as it helps with reflux. The saliva neutralises the reflux and helped with soothing.

He only had it for naps and if he was unwell.

Once his reflux became better - the dummy fairy came and took it away!

No harm at all 😊

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FlounderingFruitcake · 30/09/2022 09:31

The thumb is easier because you won’t be replacing it overnight, dummy replacing is a skill they don’t learn until about 7 months and even that it’s patchy. The dummy, however, you can get rid easily when they are toddlers, not so easy when it’s attached to their hand!! I don’t buy the teeth argument because every teen I know gets braces anyway these days, so you’re probably paying for the orthodontist anyway! I’ve had 1 of each and dummy versus thumb really is swings and roundabouts.

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CollieWobble22 · 30/09/2022 09:32

I'm sorry for writing that so terribly. I'm on hold with Scottish Power and trying to multitask. 😁

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LizaSimpson · 30/09/2022 09:32

I tried my son with it as I know it reduces SIDS but he just spat it out every time.

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ShadowPuppets · 30/09/2022 09:33

toastofthetown · 30/09/2022 09:29

I’d prefer the dummy over thumb sucking if your baby will take it. You can remove a dummy later, but it took a hand injury (after years of trying to break the habit) to stop me sucking my thumb as a child

Same, I’d much rather a dummy than a thumb sucker - as someone who really struggled to break the habit as a teenager!

I was really anti dummies pre kids (my mum was a total snob about them and I think I inherited it) but they were a lifesaver for my eldest who had dreadful reflux. Youngest hasn’t really taken to one as much which I’m a bit disappointed by as they’re a lifesaver for settling them. Added to the reduction in risk for SIDS, I’ve done a complete 180 on them - and even my mum agrees that they’re nothing to judge about these days, which is quite the reversal in views!

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Spin4Gin · 30/09/2022 09:38

We gave DD one to soothe when she was a baby, it really helped but she wasn't very dependant on it so if it fell out when she was asleep she didn't mind and I could take it away after just a few minutes. I stopped giving her one when she turned 6 months and she hasn't had one since. It got us through the first 6 months and was great. I was against them as i didn't want her to start needing it and waking up if it fell out at night etc but luckily that never happened

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BlueDiamondGlow · 30/09/2022 09:38

I don't use dummies. Don't like the idea of them. Also would be stressed about loosing it..

The evidence re SIDS isn't straightforward and they can have negatives as well as positives.

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ohyeahiwaittablestoo · 30/09/2022 09:39

I gave my DD one when she was a week old and the midwives blamed it for her losing weight as I wasn't recognising her feeding cues. Felt awful. We got past that and she's still a teeny wee titch so think she was just finding her curve. She only had it for bed and naps or when she was ill after about a year. Dummy fairy took it away not long after she turned 2. My DS had one from a week old as well but was never as fussed on it. He started refusing it around 8 months so we just took it away. I do find that if he's crying with teething or something now (18m) that I have to quick him a quick boob to calm him down whereas with DD it would have been a quick suck of the dummy. Probably explains why he weighs more than his 3yo sister does 😂

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ohyeahiwaittablestoo · 30/09/2022 09:41

I would recommend trying a few types but get ones that are easily replaced. DD ended up favouring a Boots own one that was only stocked in the big stores and then was finally discontinued. Was panic buying them on eBay!

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PaperPalace · 30/09/2022 09:42

I have three DC and they're all different. DC1 had a dummy... ish. Never that keen on it and gave it up by himself at 16mo with no intervention. DC2 refused a dummy and was a thumb sucker. DC3 absolutely LOVED his dummy and it was a struggle to eventually get him to drop it.

As others have said, they can't lose their thumb in a cot and cry for you to put it back in. But at least when you decide to ditch the dummy you have the power to do it!

All three of mine ended up with railway track braces so probably genetic and nothing to do with thumb or dummy.

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GiltEdges · 30/09/2022 09:43

Personally, I’d try it. DS was in hospital with bronchiolitis at a week old and the nurses on the ward recommended trying one. Every baby will respond differently, but in DS’s case he only ever had it to fall asleep and then we’d take it away.

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mondaytosunday · 30/09/2022 09:51

I hate dummies. But my daughter had reflux and cried constantly so I tried one out of desperation. She didn't take to it and at three months she stuck her thumb in her mouth and what a relief!
She sucked her thumb mostly at night to go to sleep, but occasionally during the day.
Once she started reception she told me she was going to stop as she didn't want the other kids to think she was a baby (suspect that's exactly what one of them called her). The dentist had already told her she should stop.
She did and her teeth are perfect.
I wouldn't give one to yours if not needed.

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Luxembourgmama · 30/09/2022 09:51

They are supposed to protect against SIDS

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HeyBlaby · 30/09/2022 09:53

My son would only sleep with his dummy then gave it up himself at about 6 months (would just spit out)

Have given one to my daughter from the start just for sleep (and occasionally if very grumpy!) due to the association with reduction of SIDS risk. She's 3 weeks old.

I like the MAM ones, have Tommee Tippee and Boots own too, but she seems to prefer MAM.

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