To give baby a dummy - yes or no?

[Bubbles021]

We have a beautiful 7 week old baby girl. She is the first baby that we have brought home (her brother sadly passed away last year when I was 30 weeks pregnant), so we are very new to parenting and probably overthink everything because of our experience with our son.
We have made it to 7 weeks without giving our daughter a dummy. We are not against them (my husband had one as a child), it just hasn't felt necessary.
She has recently started sucking her thumb as a comfort method. This has made us question whether a dummy would be better rather than leaving her to suck her thumb. Neither of us really know much about the pros/cons of dummies, so before we jump into the decision we'd really like to hear other people's experiences and opinions. Family members have suggested she needs one, but we want to make an informed decision.
Also, are there any specific brands that are known to be good? We really do know nothing about them, so any and all information is much welcomed! Thank you!

[TheBirdintheCave]

I couldn't breastfeed so gave my son a dummy for comfort. He's now nearly two and we're preparing him to give it up.

I am autistic and was a thumb sucker until I was about eight or ten I think. My teeth are fine (I only needed a retainer for a year to straighten them) but my thumb joint is so loose that I can pop it in and out of the socket. For that reason alone I'd always choose dummy over thumb for my children.

[PorridgePowered]

I've got a 7 week old so watching this with interest. I have one that spends most of the time bobbing in the sterilising fluid, but I do use it for when he has a really windy tum or when I'm going somewhere where a massive burst of crying would be challenging (I.e went to a funeral recently) it's more of a back up than a regular thing.

I've been letting him calm down on it, but never to get to sleep, didn't realise that was a thing! Not heard about the SIDS link before, in my gut I assumed it would be a bad thing to sleep with something in their face ... interesting, will read up on that.

[monkeyupsidedown]

I didn't want to give a dummy but ended up giving her one when I was desperate. She liked it for about two weeks and then spat it out and never wanted one again.

Do what works for you.

[DelurkingAJ]

I was anti (for no real reason I can think of) but tried with DS1 as he would not sleep (frankly I’d have tried almost anything short of drugging him by that stage). And he spat four different brands across the room. Several times. Didn’t bother with DS2 as by then several of my friends were struggling to wean their DC off their dummies…and he slept so much better anyway so I was less desperate.

[Banana2079]

Godsend for me couldnt do without the dummy

[NameChangeLifeChange]

@CraftyGin ah ok. Jeepers I wouldn’t want to have been bf every time the DC had a dummy though we’d be attached all night 😂

[CraftyGin]

@NameChangeLifeChange

Erm… what’s the real thing?!

Both of mine adored a dummy and it made life so much easier! I’ve babysat friends kids and honestly don’t know how to settle the ones that don’t have a dummy! Those that do it’s easy 😂
It never interfered with breastfeeding here and it was a useful tool when teething etc. We never used to let either have it constantly, eg if settled in the pram or especially when walking around/at toddler groups. By 18 months it was strictly for sleeps.
I wasn’t convinced before I have kids but mine just loved them!

The actual tit.

[NameChangeLifeChange]

@CraftyGin

None of our five had a dummy. They had the real thing.

Erm… what’s the real thing?!

Both of mine adored a dummy and it made life so much easier! I’ve babysat friends kids and honestly don’t know how to settle the ones that don’t have a dummy! Those that do it’s easy 😂
It never interfered with breastfeeding here and it was a useful tool when teething etc. We never used to let either have it constantly, eg if settled in the pram or especially when walking around/at toddler groups. By 18 months it was strictly for sleeps.
I wasn’t convinced before I have kids but mine just loved them!

[crabette]

My LO is almost 1 year and I've never offered a dummy - I wasn't overly against it, but I've just never felt it was really needed, and similarly to you, my LO found their thumb for some comfort, which has worked fine.

I thought the benefits to no dummy would be:

• less waking up through the night due to a lost dummy;
• less losing dummys during the day and me having a panic running into shops to get one, as my sister does almost every time we go out 🙈
• less trauma for baby when the time comes to take dummy away.

Have to say most of my family seemed to think I was being cruel not giving a dummy 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I asked my health visitor about it and they were non-committal. (And the more comments I got about it the less likely I was to give one!!)

But honestly I don't think it's a huge deal either way - pros and cons to both. Just note that if you give a dummy for sleeping you're supposed to be really consistent with that for SIDS, you should have a look at the guidance.

Congratulations on your little one, and I'm so sorry for your past loss 💔 xx

[hiredandsqueak]

I didn't give or offer one to any of mine because I don't like to see them. None of them sucked their thumbs either. I would say if baby has found her thumb then she has found her own comforter and I'd leave her be.

[Catflapping]

I tried to encourage both my wee ones to take a dummy because of the suggestion doing so could reduce the risk of SIDS. Neither would take it and I bought about 4 different brands in my attempt! My boy sucked his thumb and stopped naturally on his own around age 3. My current 6 month old sucks two of her fingers.

[Crunchingleaf]

Eldest did take one, but I have to admit it was frustrating having to pop it back into his mouth when he woke up looking for it, he was very small at the time. He then gave it up at 6 months old himself.
My 10 month old refused it point blank. If he wants to give out your not getting away with distracting him with a dummy. He doesn’t need it to sleep etc and I have friends whose babies are waking up at night looking for their dummies and if they can’t find one. Most regret the day they gave it.

[Ihaveoflate]

Dummies are brilliant for soothing and self settling. Mine had one for sleep until she was 18 months and gave them up without issue.

[2bazookas]

All our children had dummies whenever they wanted from tiny, until around 2-ish. So comforting and soothing. They happily settled down to sleep , and there were several dummies in their cot so if one fell out in the night they'd find a replacement.

They are all middle aged now with absolutely perfect teeth; none has ever needed a filling.

[Anon778833]

Helping your child self-soothe is a very valuable thing imo.

[ClocksGoingBackwards]

I offered one to my subsequent babies after I became a human dummy to my first. I think that as long as they’re keep for sleep time only, dummies are fine. They only become a problem when they’re over used to keep awake children quiet.

[CraftyGin]

None of our five had a dummy. They had the real thing.

[TheTeddyBears]

My 2 loved dummy from the start. If baby is sucking thumb I'd be inclined to give them one because you can take the dummy away you can't take their thumb away! It can cause issues with their teeth.

I got the dummy off my first just after 2 was a fluke wasn't planned but stuck with it and it wasn't bad at all. Actually trying tonight with my youngest but she's nearly 3 and still wakes up looking for it in the night not sure how it's going to go but that's it, it's not coming back now!

[UsernameIsCopied]

If she's discovered her thumb she probably won't want a dummy anyway. I am a big fan of thumb sucking. Thumbs can't get lost or taken away, children have complete control over their comforter. Two of my DC sucked their thumbs, as did numerous other members of my extended family. No problems with teeth at all!
It is harder to stop than taking away a dummy of course, but the secret is to very gradually reduce it once they're 3 years old or so (hygiene is the perfect excuse).

[Mischance]

If it brings her comfort then use it.

[ShesThunderstorms]

When I was pregnant with my first, I was absolutely adamant that I would never ever give my baby a dummy (absolutely no idea why!!) fast forward to 6 weeks in, we hadn't had more than 2 hours sleep in one go and I felt ill I was so tired. I sent my OH out to get one- I'd have tried anything by this point- he slept for 4 hours in one go! I felt like a new woman! With baby number two I stocked up and she was never interested in them.
If you're struggling and you feel she needs one, try it!

[Motherofgrownupkids]

My eldest was a thumb sucker and it was really difficult to wean them off it. They ended up having to on have lots of orthodontic work (which was fortunately free in those days).

Younger sibling started to suck their thumb so I gave them a dummy instead which they took and stopped the thumb sucking. We only allowed the dummy for sleeping and removed it once they were asleep.

We got rid of it at two because ‘Father Christmas needed it for the new babies and he said he’d give you an extra present if you let him have yours’. I am not adverse to bribery as a parenting tool.

[Suzi888]

We offered DD a dummy, she didn’t want it and I’m glad as they can be a nightmare to wean off them. However, if that’s the only way to get peace 😂go for it. Entirely up to the baby really.

[StClare101]

Congratulations on your baby.

Both mine were thumb suckers with no interest whatsoever in dummies. Spat them out. They were thumb addicts but luckily one stopped on his own (with bribery) and the other needed a thumb guard for ten days at age three to get him over it.

So in my small sample of two, once they decide they like their thumb there is no going to dummies!

[shivawn]

Mine never took a dummy although I offered it plenty in the first couple months. He went through a short phase of thumb sucking that lasted a couple weeks but doesn't need anything to self settle now. I would do whatever makes life easier for now, if you dont think she needs a dummy then I'd leave it, save you from weaning it later.