Dog at school and child with phobia

[LittleMissMe99]

In my daughters school they have a wellbeing area where all children can go. If they're upset, lonely, just want a chat etc. Really lovely idea I think and works very well. My daughter who is 11 (just started secondary school) won't go because they have a dog and she is terrified of them. Full blown phobia There have been occasions when she has been alone at lunch time and wanted to go there (where there are other kids in a similar situation). But she's too scared. She's a very shy and anxious child and will not tell them shes afraid of dogs. I'm wondering should I mention it to the school? They won't get rid of the dog because of one student will they? What would you do?

If the area is there for the children's wellbeing then I am sure they have times when the dog isn't there, otherwise it would be excluding both those with phobias and those with allergies - in fact on the latter they really need to have somewhere that never has a dog in it - or is incredibly well cleaned first. So definitely speak to the school about it. They may even be able to help with the phobia or refer you to somewhere that can help, as I imagine that part of that treatment would eventually involved gradual exposure to dogs, at least I know that's how some other phobias are treated.

My daughter, now 30, had a phobia of dogs. We went though all the blinkered, patronising comments from dog owners suggesting it was her fault and allowing their dogs to slobber over a terrified child whilst they insisted that said animal ‘loved children’ and that we should sort out our daughter’s attitude. Smug bastards.

We tried hypnotherapy but she found the visualisation of being in contact with dogs so distressing that the potential cure became far worse than the initial problem. So we stopped.
She is still scared of dogs but she deals with it.

if a school is offering a safe space for children it should be accessible for all children. Speak to the school and encourage them to make a ‘safe’ space your daughter, and others like her as there will be others, feel safe to access.

I think the point is that maybe there wouldn't be a phobia if all dog owners were good owners.

My dd7 had no issue. One stupid owner let her 2 excited lab puppies run out and jump all over her, they were bigger than her and clawed her! I had the"they love children" My daughter is now overly cautious. I'm good with that and I don't blame her! She can vet who she likes on dog ownership!

Just contact the school, they will have a place to take the dog when your daughter wants to access the area . The school won't put the dog above a child's welfare , they will move the dog .
The dog might be able to help with her phobia , introduced to her on her own terms . But if that doesn't happen the dog will be accommodated in a different part the school when you daughter want to be in the well-being area .

CBT is the recommended therapy for phobias and should be available for both adults and children through the NHS/ IAPT services. It won't take years, it's a relatively short term therapy.
Phobias can be massively debilitating, I really feel for anyone with a phobia.

@bluebellcushion what’s your feelings in service dogs 🐕‍🦺?

Puppies bigger than a 7 year old..?
Were they called Clifford by any chance..?

This thread is a perfect example of all the dog owners who show total lack of empathy and are utterly incredulous that someone else might not like their fur baby 🙄

I don't particularly know much about service dogs but I obviously acknowledge they do a job that is needed. But it doesn't change my personal feelings about them as animals.

Do you actually need me to explain that dogs, when they jump up are not the same size as when they are on all fours? Unless that was you joking?

@Hedonism Most of us are not saying that she needs to like dogs, rather than the phobia should be addressed for safety reasons. There are plenty of kids that will literally run into the road without looking to avoid a dog which is clearly very dangerous.

I agree with people saying that there will be a plan for keeping the dog out of her way and that actually reducing the impact of her phobia will help her long term.

CBT worked for me with a phobia. I will always have that phobia (related to childhood traumas) but now it doesn't stop me doing anything.

@Muddledandbefuddled you are right, I totally agree.

I was irked by the tone of some of the posters upthread who seemed to suggest that it was a choice to be scared of dogs. I was probably being a bit defensive too, since I have been actively trying to reduce my dd's phobia for years, so apologies if I sounded a bit stroppy - it's just that it's easier said than done. So if anyone has any suggestions then I am all ears 🙂

Surely this will give her motivation to get over her phobia? Use it in a positive way.

I agree to a point but many children have fears and phobias and those things might also be present in a school. I have a phobia of balloons and they're the kind of thing that can pop up randomly at school (pun intended) but you can't say they have no place in a school really. Same with anything someone could be phobic of

It's not about that. It is the about the fact that dogs are proven to be beneficial to lots of people's well being hence the dog being in the well being area. Other children shouldn't have to miss out on something which can really help them because the OPs dd has a phobia. I agree that setting up an area else where for people that don't like to be around dogs would be fair but getting rid of the dog altogether isn't.

And of course it is best for people to get over their phobias if they can. Grown adults reduced to shrieking eejits over normal things isn't something that most people would like to have to endure.

Oh your daughter has my absolute sympathy. I am terrified of spiders and wouldn't manage to go somewhere where I knew one was out and about.

I think contacting the school is a good start. She won't be the only child with a phobia of dogs. See if they have some options for her.

I am a dog owner BTW and I regularly see people who are frightened of dogs (I do my best to cross road etc). It's really not that unusual.

Notonthestairs, get some CBT: six sessions should do it. London Zoo used to offer a spider-phobia course. Get over the worst of it and stop living in fear.

I'd love to see the independent research that shows that a dog as opposed to a hamster or guinea pig gives more wellbeing benefit within a school

My cousin had hypnotherapy for her phobia of dogs and is fine with all dogs, and now has a Husky which she adores. Definitely worth looking into.

I'd love to see the independent research that shows that a dog as opposed to a hamster or guinea pig gives more wellbeing benefit within a school

Why?
Is it not obvious that dogs are much more sociable and can be trained to follow commands where a hamster cannot?
Dogs are used to support the blind, deaf, disabled and those who suffer with PTSD and in some cases ASD. Therapy dogs are used in hospitals and care homes which has proven to increase people's wellbeing.
Why are you likening dogs to rodents?

I actually feel quite angry with many of the answers on this thread. Poor kid!
I am a teacher. I have a teen who has had many mental health issues over the last 3 years, and has been VERY dependant on the student services for support.
We also have a dog, so I am not anti -dog.

Obviously in an ideal world, the OPs dd wouldn't have a phobia, but she does, and while I think working on the phobia is a good idea, this child needs to be able to access the school's well being services safely and at the moment she can't.

Please talk to the school. Explain the situation. I am willing to bet she is not the only one. I am also willing to bet that they have a work around, another space, or times when the dog isn't there, or someone she can go to and ask to use the centre, so that the dog is taken out of the way for a while.
She needs to be able to access this place. If that means that the school needs to work round the dog, then the school needs to think about this!

There are many reasons why kids might not feel comfortable with a dog there, includeing cultural ones, does this school have any muslim kids? Because many of them might struggle to use this space as the dog makes it unclean. Not great is it?

The school should have separate times/rooms for support for children who can not be around dogs. Otherwise they are neglecting to support children with severe allergies, children with cultural aversions to dogs and children who have anxiety around dogs. Perhaps your daughter's school already does this but she hasn't been made aware of it, but if they don't you can ask for them to put it in place and you would not be unreasonable to do so.

Also for those telling op to sort her child's phobia now, I can understand that this would be hugely beneficial to the child it will not be a priority within CAMHS who can barely cope with the number of suicidal children they are supposed to be supporting and if OP is anything like the majority of parents in the UK at the moment finding £50-£100 per session for hypnotherapy or £60 -£100 per session for CBT may not be remotely possible.

But asking the school to provide the same level of support to her daughter as other children is possible.

Nightynightnight

spot on, well said

To be honest I don’t agree with dogs in schools at all. Not everyone likes them and a lot of children have allergies. My son has a dog allergy and it annoys me that he has to put up with dog allergens at school.