Does this ever get easier?

[Sleepbabysleeppls]

Sorry in advance for the self-indulgent ramble. Just really struggling.

DS is 12m he is full on. So much energy all the time, not yet walking but almost. Literally does not stop. I was a playgroup with him yesterday and he was by far the most manic there even the mums with little boys a year older commented on how much energy he has.

He wakes every day at 5am. I have tried EVERYTHING to change this. I think this is the main thing I’m struggling with as if he slept later I’d have a bit more energy myself (I am in bed by 9.30 every night but the early start still kills me). I watch him all day like a hawk to stop him from hurting himself but he often ends up hurting himself anyway because he is so manic. It’s hard to have eyes in the back of your head when you’re tired.

He has tantrums when I tell him ‘no’. For instance spent the whole of playgroup yesterday playing on a step with this heavy curtain and then ended up hurting himself (despite the hundreds of toys there I try and get him to play with).

Every meal is a battle. Will hardly eat and throws food on the floor despite knowing he shouldn’t. Grab the spoon off me if I’m trying to feed him something and throws it at me. Kicks and screams at me when I’m trying to change his nappy.

Maybe this is all really normal and I need to adjust my expectations but I’m just finding it incredibly hard. I think if the 5am wake changed everything would be more manageable but as I said I can’t seem to shift this after months and months.

The positives are is that he generally sleeps through until 5am from 7-7.30pm ish, he will self settle, has daytime naps and is generally happy and content. But everyone says how 12m is a turning point and I’m really not feeling that.

Things are almost as hard as newborn days just differently hard.

I am not an expert, but I do think the super challenging stages are when they can almost but can’t quite, so probably walking is the challenge here.

12 months were a delight here but my ds was frankly bloody awful at around 16 months. Wouldn’t eat, unless we were eating, went from one tantrum to another all day long, obsessed with pushing things, attacking other children

Hes now mostly delightful again although I do have to watch him around other children as there have been a couple of biting episodes at nursery.

Not sure about the 5am wake, ds has definitely gone through those stages and it’s almost always linked to teeth. Could that be a possibility?

They do grow out if the 5am wake-ups. They do. I promise.

@Watchthesunrise I’ve made a few posts on the sleep boards about it. It’s been going on around 5m now. Jury seems to be out on whether they do grow out of it… I mean of course the do one day when teenagers but I’m really looking at the next few years. Feel so hopeless about it all. He was up at 4.58 this morning and now I have a full on day ahead with him too.

You seem to be quite focussed on the wakeup time, and how hard it is. Maybe just try accepting that this is how it is right now?

I think until 2.5 they are very challenging. I have to say my youngest is 3 yrs and I would consider killing somebody if it meant she would sleep through the whole night.

Early wakings are horrible. How are his naps during the day? He may be ready to drop one (my friend's dd stopped napping at 12 months though that's unusual!) If he still has a morning nap he may be ready to drop it. If you do that gradually it really does help.

@Sleepbabysleeppls do bear in mind that a lot of posters on here can be a bit pessimistic generally.

My DS sleep was just dire between 6 and 18 months and it hugely impacted me as a parent, person and at work. It’s all so much better when they sleep.

Will your OH take it in turns with you?

I second @Watchthesunrise another few months he will grow out of the 5am wake ups. We had a 4am waker with our second child, but awful as that was we knew he would grow out of it as our first did

Definitely try looking at his nap timings to tweak the night sleep, what time are his naps and how long?
And as someone unthread said this stage just before they accomplish a new milestone is hard. From age 1-2 the list of things they are trying to learn are endless - walking, talking, sleep changes, social skills, trying more foods. Quite often they're brains are processing so much and because they can't quite achieve what they want this when frustrations appear.

@mewkins @Neverfullycharged @0ddsocks @MissRainbowBrite

He has 2 naps. I try and stretch him for the AM one until 9am. He’ll sleep about 1hr15. Next nap around 1.30pm where sometimes he will sleep 1hr15 again sometimes 2 hours. Bedtime 4 hours after that. I don’t think I can drop that AM nap with such an early wake. Also he is still tired at 5am but will not got back to sleep. He would happily go back to sleep at 7ish though if I let him.

I do have a supportive OH who helps so I know I am lucky. But I’m still just really struggling.

Hi OP,

I think that morning nap is your issue and it kind of causes a viscious cycle (I've been there!) The morning nap is a sort of extension of the night sleep so your ds has got into the habit of waking earlier as he can make up for it later. I wouldn't go cold turkey and drop it but I would either....

Start cutting it down more and more so that it disappears (knock 10 mins off every few days) and bring the lunch nap forward.

Or start stretching it out so that it becomes later and sort of morphs into the lunch nap. My dd was on one nap of no more than 2 hrs at 12 months and that helped.

It's a bit of a pain trying to squeeze an early lunch I'm etc but it is doable.

It is painful at first but it really really does help address the early waking. It takes some weeks to iron out though. X

Instead of stretching naps, have you considered giving him the 7am nap plus two more? Overtiredness is a beast, makes my normally calm 3 year old manic. Maybe try that for a few days and see what happens?

@mewkins I think I’m going to try cutting it to one sleep cycle only which is 40 mins for DS. The problem is though, if he then only does 1hr 15 at lunch he won’t barely make it it 7pm for bedtime.

there is so much conflicting advice about early waking. My worry is it could be over-tiredness in which case cutting the AM nap would make things worse? How do you know what is the right thing to do

They definitely grow out of the 5am wake ups. Especially when they drop to 1 nap and have busier days xx

At his age if waking at 5am, nap at 9am then and 2pm.

The 5am wake up is pretty normal for a 7pm bedtime. My 13.5 month old goes to bed at 9pm-ish and wakes anytime after 7am. If she went to bed earlier then she would definitely be awake earlier. 10 hours sleep a night is quite normal although difficult with such an early start so I do sympathise.

@Exhaustedmoose this is basically what we do.

9-10.15am
1.45/2-3.15pm

Bed 7.15-7.30pm

5am wake

Sympathies, I've not slept past seven since I first pregnant in 2016. Pregnancy insomnia and two early rising kids. Eldest would sleep past seven but youngest (3.5) wakes 6.30 latest and used to often be up at 4.30.

You can keep returning them to bed but ultimately it's just sticking it out.

You've go

Arhhh pressed too soon.

You've got great sleep advice already, I was just wondering on the behaviour if he's throwing food at you? Does this mean he's maybe not eating enough before sleeping? Could he be hungry?

What's his diet like? Just thinking hyper mode, could be linked to diet? Early waking could be linked to hunger?

I'm assuming when he's being a pest there are consequences, I know he's very very young but you can start to be firm with him now, and try to teach him that kicking and screaming at you gets him nowhere.

@nonstoprenovation I don’t think you finished your post.

@lilroo87 @Dogtooth
i tried an 8pm bedtime for 3 weeks made no difference sadly. In fact he was up earlier. I’m not expecting a 7am rise. Anything after 6am would be amazing to be honest.

If you can I'd look at shortening the morning nap to 40/45 mins and then for the afternoon nap no earlier than 1.45/2pm as then you could try to push bedtime back a little to see if that helps. If he's going down at 7 then by 5am he's had a 10 hour block of sleep so he'll be raring to get up.
Also, it's hard right now as we're going into winter and he's not quite walking but outside time helps lots, even if it's a bit grim out stick a puddle suit on and waterproof boots and go out. Fresh air and daylight will help.

@nonstoprenovation barely eats any breakfast. I have tried porridge, Weetabix with warm milk, toast, etc. He will eat plain yogurt but has a lot of that for dinner too and he’ll eat the bought fruit pouches but I try not to give those too often. Will sometimes eat a bit of fruit if I chop up for him but mostly it goes on the floor. He still has 3x bottles a day but doesn’t wake hungry as doesn’t finish his milk. I have tried giving breakfast before milk but doesn’t make any difference to how much he eats.

Before he’s even tried the food he’s turning his head away from the spoon. Starts protesting as soon as in the highchair. He prefers to feed himself which is fine for finger foods but he doesn’t have the coordination to use cutlery to feed himself yet. I do manage to get food in him by persevering but mealtimes are miserable.

@MissRainbowBrite I have tried a later bedtime but didn’t make any difference. He has loads of outside time every day we go on walks/to the park. Thanks for your advice.

I actually think between 1 and 2 years is the most difficult age. They nap less, they often wake early, both mine started resisting bedtime, they start having tantrums and you can't reason with them. Worst of all they're mobile but have NO common sense at all!! I had to watch mine like a hall otherwise they'd be doing something highly dangerous. I remember almost crying because I couldn't sit down for 5 minutes and just have a sandwich or something. Believe me, it does get much, much easier. You just need to get through this tough time. Regarding the early wake ups - with mine I followed the advice that they actually need to go to bed earlier to wake up later. It's counter intuitive but did work. Apparently they wake up early if over-tired. If they have a long sleep their brain is rested so they sleep longer.