How do you survive with 2 children?!

[SnowBall86]

Hi lovelies, please can you share hacks and secrets with me as to how you parent 2 kids?
my DS is 5 and I have 3mo baby. Whilst lovely, she is hard work. I feel like I spend so much time with her, I’m neglecting my son. She’s unsettled in the evenings, so when my son comes back from school I can’t spend any time with him because bm baby girl is so grouchy. My DH is helping with school run sometimes and sometimes he’ll take DS to play football. It breaks my heart when I snap at DS because I feel so stressed with screaming baby (she also likes to put herself to sleep in a dark room with white noise all by herself however she’s a very very light sleeper, so wakes up when DS talks or makes a sound and then she gets really really upset). I feel like such shit mom to my DS. He’s the nicest 5 yo I know, he adores his sister but I can see how sad he gets when we don’t spend any time together or when I’m telling him off (for nothing really, just being a child asking for snacks, to change TV channel etc)…

[TheWayTheLightFalls]

It will get better. I have a five year old and baby twins, so it could be worse . The sleep does settle at some point - you can gently help things as PP suggested but at some point they just learrn to join up their sleep cycles. I promise, it will happen.

Sling sling sling.

The other thing that helps me is just staying out the house, esp after school pickup. I turn up to collect my older one with a good quantity of snacks and we go straight to the park so she can hare around a bit, and we come home as close to dinner time as possible. Cuts the whinging right down on both sides, and the house is tidier.

[toogoodforthisworld]

I've got 2 older children- and 4 step children (all living with us full time)
I've been a mum for 30 years now - and I still suffer from mum guilt. Wish I could just turn it off.
I think it's my new normal feeling... I'll be having grandma guilt too soon ... the oldest has children and the 2nd is due any day...
sometimes I handle it better than other days.
My kids don't remember being shouted at lol
or me being -what I felt afterwards was- mean to them .. it's just me coping (but not very well) 🙈

[Deadringer]

I don't believe you can get a baby into a routine, the baby develops their own routine and then you follow it. Babies sleep when they are tired and feed when they are hungry, there is no getting around that. Its shit at this stage op but it gets easier, and as a pp said your ds will suffer no lasting harm from a little benign neglect.

[houseofboy]

Hi, does your little one like being on a pram? When our second was that age the witching hour was intense so we would go for a walk/ scoot to a park or just for some time outside it helped settle the younger one whilst giving the eldest something to do and you can chat and make it into an adventure? I know prams don't work for all but might help?

[ShirtingForkBalls]

When DS1 was 3 I had DS2. I bought a double buggy and baby just did whatever we were doing. Napped in the buggy.
Stuck him in my bed to BF at night.
He just had to fit in.
Don't beat yourself up op.
Just do whatever works & try to nap when DH is there. That will help your frayed nerves.
Don't stress. You will be fine!

[autumnvibez]

You don't survive... it's very very hard!

[Roselilly36]

We had two under two, DH was running a business, we managed fine, DH helped with the nights. A 5 year old and a baby sounds a breeze, tbh. Just work as a team, it will get easier and you will get through it