Father of my 10 month baby is wanting it all his own way

[Maymay1980]

My daughter is 10 months and his father currently has her every other weekend whilst he has his other 2 girls, he lives an hour away… now he asked to have her for the 5 days over Xmas ( it’s my weekend) and also wants to take her abroad for a week with his mum. ( my weekend again)

can anyone help? I really feel that even 2 nights every other week is a long time for her to be away from her mummy. He has reached out to mediation but is threatening courts if I don’t go with what he wants.

I was going to offer we split the Xmas to make it’s fair, but he won’t like that as currently has the every other Christmas agreement with his ex, is that my problem?

he’s already threatened social services and police when I stood my ground and said no to him picking my daughter up before his other girls make her be in the car for over an hour and a half when she doesn’t need to be!

his girls are 8 and 10.

i feel this guy is trying to scare and bully me, what rights do I have?

You shouldnt really name your daughter on here

I mean given the distance between you. You will never reach a 50/50 agreement due to school, so it makes it harder to angry weekends and holidays as a result.

Can I ask who moved OP? Did you get pregnant and always live apart or never live together or did one of you move when you were pregnant or once she was born?

What he's asking for isn't unreasonable or unusual.

Can state 5 days is too long and you aren't willing to forgo Christmas Eve/Day/Boxing day altogether. Perhaps his family could do the travelling alternate years whilst he hosts.

Hi sorry to say I’m back with a few more questions. Daughter is 2, he moved an hour away. Arrangement previous was he had Daughter every other weekend and overnight Wednesday. He wanted this changed so we trialed he had her an extra night that weekend stopped the Wednesday nights but had her Sunday night to Tuesday morning. Have tried it for 5 months, I need to up my work to 3 days and dynamics mean it’s not going to work with the arrangement he wanted. Also daughter is spending a lot of time in the car. She seems unsettled and other reasons. When I spoke to him he said no. This is working, (maybe for him). He got angry, said it’s not all about me, he wants to see daughter, then threatened courts and full custody. We tried mediation twice sort of worked but I don’t trust the mediator as she told us two different things last time
. I know we need to get courts to decide.l things because I can’t continue when he’s getting his way he’s as nice as pie as soon as he doesn’t he talks about he has to work full time so I get my money (CMS)
In the meantime can he refuse to go back to the previous arrangement?

he has asked for a week in December to take her away with his parents to Tenerife. I’ve said yes even though this is Lily’s first holiday abroad without me. Do you think the courts might decline this?

I want to discuss the whole years holidays, he’s now asked for another week in the summer so he can take all his 3 children away i presume.

also he moved away an hour from his daughter so he could be 5 minutes from work. He’s a workaholic. Will the courts make me drive half way? see entirely unfair as he chose to do this so why should I pay for petrol so he could have this huge house then plead poverty 🤷🏼‍♀️

please help.

Why is he threatening social services and police? If he's that concerned why doesn't he want your daughter full time! He is abusive and controlling. Stop replying to him, other than for specific contact plans. Do not be bullied by him and call a lawyer and know you rights.