Please make me feel better about bigger age gaps

[BiscuitLover3678]

Keep reading negative things!

TTC no. 2 is taking longer than hoped :( even if it works next month it’ll be about 3 years 8 months earliest. Not what we’d planned!

Me and my brother are 6.5 years apart and have an amazing bond, I am closer to him than my sister who I always clashed with (2 years apart). In fact my partner and daughter joke that I love him more than I love them!

I'm very very close to my sister who is 4 years older than me.
I too, will have a 4 year age gap the way things are going, but I'm not worried. In my opinion every age gap has good/bad sides to it.

Ours will be almost 5 years due to nursery fees.

My two have 21 months between them and fight and compete as much as they play together. Even going up the stairs is always a race and if one sits on my lap the other one complains. They love each other but I think there could be more peace with more of a gap. I still feel guilty about having another baby when my eldest was still wanting to be the baby and the times I was ill with pregnancy sickness, busy with a baby and not able to put my young toddler first.

4.5 years between mine and they absolutely adore each other!!

DD has older siblings. 10+ years older.
She probably gets on better with her sister than the older 2 get on with each other.
Closer in age ones fought much more when younger. Big age gaps siblings have always been harmonious.

That's not an age gap at all, perfectly normal

Same and they adore each other (most of the time!)

I posted before I had finished there. Everyone I know with a bigger gap had a more positive experience than I did that first couple of years with a toddler and baby. Hopefully you will be pregnant soon and it will work out to be the perfect gap for you

I posted before I had finished there. Everyone I know with a bigger gap had a more positive experience than I did that first couple of years with a toddler and baby. Hopefully you will be pregnant soon and it will work out to be the perfect gap for you

I have four children with 3 years between 1 and 2 and 3 years 4 months between 3 and 4.
It was far better than a short age gap for many reasons-
*less guilt as I felt “baby” was ready and had had the full 3 years of attachment time to me, and so not jealous of their baby sibling.
*toilet training had been well and truly mastered and no regression experienced.

• their understanding was better and so they could anticipate more what would happen and be warned ahead of time, they had already been through the tantrum stages too so that was a relief.
• I felt more confident letting them go off with relatives or for a play date if i needed a rest in pregnancy or had I needed overnight care etc

They are close to each other and enjoy their time together and the age gap hasn’t been an issue. Different sexes so no shared hobbies except gymnastics but at very different levels anyway so no overlap. As adults my eldest two are not close close but more due to lifestyle than personality or age- they have each other’s backs and enjoy their company.

4 years 10 months between my 2 who are adults now. I’d not have had it any other way. They were both effectively an “only child” with plenty attention before they went to school, they were fa4 enough apart in age that they weren’t competitive with each other. We were a LOT less frazzled than we’d have been with a baby and a toddler…so many benefits

ours is going to be almost 4 years between. because my daughter is older, she can get more involved in the process, baby clothes, names ect.

3 years 8 months is exactly the age gap between my 2 and it’s great. They get on really well and the eldest is pretty independent so it makes things easier at home. I think 3-4 years is pretty standard these days as it avoids having to pay for 2 at nursery.

That's not a big age gap. Quite normal really. There is almost 5 years between me and my youngest brother and we are very close. Then there is 6 & 8 between my oldest brothers and still we are very close.

I have a step brother who is 20 years older than me and he's the one I am actually closest to.

There are 3yrs 9months between my DC - it worked well in terms of DD was at a better age to understand what was happening & that the baby would need my attention etc. Going back to the baby stage was tough in the beginning but wasn't so long ago we'd forgotten everything & they now get a long pretty well.
There is no perfect age gap.

Would that mean your second maternity leave will coincide with your elder child starting school? That would be so lovely, being at home for them at such an important stage.

Mine are 3yrs apart and it's lovely, if the gap had been a little bigger life would have been just that bit easier.

I have a 3y3m gap, 5y1m gap and 23 month gap between children. Eldest 15, youngest 5.

They all have their pros and cons.

People seem to think that 2-3 years is the holy grail and I think more should be said about the pros of a bigger age gap. Not least, 1 lot of childcare fees at a time. I have many friends who would have had a much better time financially if they’d had waited a bit longer.

For us I felt a lot of pressure to concieve DC2 when my eldest was 18m-2.5 year. All my friends were doing it and it felt like what was expected.

As it happened we had 5 years due to circumstances and it’s amazing. 2 lots of mat leave to focus on the baby, eldest was fairly independent before number 2 arrived. They have an amazing bond now at 5&10.

DC3 is 8 years younger than nearest sibling and is very close to both of the older ones.

3 years between my and my brother. We've spent 45 years disliking each other.

It will be fine. Siblings getting on has as much to do with temperament as age.
They are closer at some stages than at others.
It will be fine and it's beyond your control anyway.

I have 20 years between my 2 so your age gap isn't that big! They are the best of friends though. My youngest idolises her big sister.

I only have the one at the moment but was chatting to someone who has a 5 year gap. She said it was a privilege getting so much time with her first and now he’s older and not interested in ‘kid stuff’ like the zoo she still gets all the days out and quality one and one with the younger one. Worked great for them.

20 years 11 months between my two and it works perfectly! Older DD adores her baby sibling and baby DD thinks older DD is the best thing since sliced bread!