Please make me feel better about bigger age gaps

[BiscuitLover3678]

Keep reading negative things!

TTC no. 2 is taking longer than hoped :( even if it works next month it’ll be about 3 years 8 months earliest. Not what we’d planned!

My sister and I (same parents, think I was a contraception failure!) are almost exactly ten years apart and she's my closest friend 😊

We will have an almost 5 year age gap when DC2 arrives next month. We were hoping for 2.5-3 years. I'm now quite happy that DC1 will be at school doing exciting new things while I have 1-to-1 time at home with the baby. I also think (slightly selfishly) that it will be lovely to have a second mat leave without having to drag a toddler around everywhere. Although not our preference, there is clearly a silver lining to larger age gaps 😁! One example being that I haven't had to waddle/sprint while heavily pregnant after a rogue toddler.

4.5 years between mine, couldn't afford 2 in nursery!
Had the whole of dd 1's first year at school on maternity leave, so could do all the school runs and dd2 had all my attention. They are 7 and 11 now and get alone well. I would recommend it!

4 years 1 month between mine. Pretty perfect. They're now 17 and 21 and get on really really well.

I loved the older one starting school whilst my youngest was a baby. Made things so much easier and gave me time to spend with the second baby. Mind you, if you do go on to have others with a similar age gap, the school run takes up an awful lot of your life

9 years between my two boys, its been great!

DS1 had 9 years with just the two of us, then was already beginning to want his independence a bit when his brother came along..

They've always been close, but it seems to get stronger the older they get.. now at 33 and 24, DS2 (Dyspraxic) just sent his big brother his CV to reword and check over, as they both work in the same industry and DS1 is higher up the work scale.

.. plus DS1 gives his brother excellent advice in life! whereas he doesnt always listen to me

I felt exactly the same, I had an MMC then it took a while to get pregnant again and I felt so guilty for not having that “magic 2 year gap” that everyone else had.

It turned out to be absolute crap and a 3.5 yr gap has been great! DC1 was potty trained, didn’t need a nap, could fetch her own snacks, look at books/do stickers etc. which was so helpful when I was stuck under a bfing/napping newborn. She could also pass me things like baby wipes.

They absolutely adore each other and after a while started to play really nicely together with only a few squabbles.

Plus minimal nursery fee overlap.

If you think about it no one bats an eyelid at the gap between a DC1 and a DC3.Good luck TTC.

I wouldn't call this a big age gap. 3-4 years is standard. We're having almost 4 years gap (2nd due in December) and I have never considered anything less than 3 years. Most of my friends and NCT group had their 2nd with a smaller age gap and they all looked so overwhelmed with a baby and toddler in tow. And they all had to reduce their hours further as they just weren't coping with 2 very young children and work. I'm quite happy with the gap we're having - DS1 is more independent, communication and understanding are much better at his age and he is getting excited for the baby too. He's started picking baby clothes when we go shopping, kisses my bump and talks to the baby and it's just the cutest thing. The timing of my maternity leave also means I'll be home for his first month or two of reception.

I ended up with nearly 6 years. Oldest is 11 little one 5
Positives
Financial both at the nursery stage and later at uni stage.
Only one doing exams at a time.
Plenty 121 time when they were pre-school.
Oldest sorts themselves after swimming.
I'm not dealing with two toddlers in the mornings

Negatives
They don't really play together but I'm hoping that will change.
We end up at different films at the pictures,
.

There’s about 5 years between my two. They’re really close.

My son was so good with his sister as a baby, he was old enough to know to be careful, no eye poking like with so many toddlers. My oldest is 18 now and they get on great, they stick up for each other, youngest goes to oldest for advice which has made them really close. It’s maybe personality dependent but it’s worked out great for us. No fighting at all.

5 years between my girls and it’s been perfect. I never understood this fascination with wanting 2 / 3 years age gap between siblings. Kids will get on or not get on based on individual personality and temperament. My kids adore each other. My brother and I were two years apart and didn’t get on at all.