Worried health visitor reports me to social work

[MrsC20]

Went to see the Health Visitor for my daughter's 2.5 year review. I got upset / tearful during it as i find it stressful as i worry about my daughter's development and also i lost my Dad 3 weeks ago and my best friend lost her Dad last night too so stressed.com.

Plus, to add to it my daughter had a big tantrum when we were leaving and i had to wrestle her in front of the HV. HV just advised that I can take the assessment form home and she'll come out in a couple of weeks to see us and go over it.

I phoned her when i got home and scheduled a date and time and of course apoligised.

I'm worried incase she now has concerns and will refer me to social services. I do have a lot of support as got my husband and other family. With everything else, i just couldn't handle a social services referral. I'm just riddled with worry.

Please don’t worry about this - I work for the HV service and can tell you for certain you will not be reported to children’s services for the issues you mentioned above.

HV’s will often do “targeted visits” where they visits families who might be struggling for whatever reason more regularly to offer more support. It might be that she wants to discuss your worries about your daughter’s development or how you are coping since losing your dad but didn’t feel it was appropriate to do it in public.

if you’re really worried it might be worth giving her a ring to tell her how you feel. At least then it will put your mind at rest and you won’t be worrying until she comes to visit you.

Toddlers tantrum. Every parent, doctor, health visitor in the world knows that.

I'm forever scared of losing my daughter, especially after what has happened

I think you're unable to think calmly and rationally about this. Nothing you have said here makes it seem remotely likely that you will lose your daughter.

As a really positive first step, I'd call the GP surgery today and make an appointment with your doctor. This way, you're taking some control over the situation and moving forward and will also get some reassurance that you're doing ok, but maybe some MH support would be beneficial.

I had a lot of involvement from my health visitor in my last trimester of pregnancy because I had pre-natal depression. I am so glad that I was honest with her about it as I received good support and was left in no doubt that health visitors are there to help us make things work rather than to find reasons to refer to SS.

I turned up on the wrong day to 9 month check. Tired and upset with myself. Through a wobbler and said just forget the whole thing they called me later that day to see if i was okay. I was never reported lol 😆 at most they will say is do you have support etc. They are generally very nice just have a bad rep.

Not if you don't want them to, my baby has seizures so I like to keep in contact. You have to remember this is your main contact for the first 5 years. Then it's the school nurse when at school. It's a service available not forced x

Hello :) looking for advice long post ahead . Had my first Hv visit today and she asked me a lot of qs . One of them was about my support system and about my bd and his address . I said I wasn't with him and he has nothing to do with the child and she kept prying . It made me very uncomfortable and made me cry all day after her visit. She asked for his name and address like the other people and my main worry is that she would go there to his house and discuss me and what I have said and my little one . She asked when did I get pregnant to him and so on . She also asked about DV and I said no to having it with him and I said no but I did talk to a doctor about it before and she said what he was doing was . I never wanted to say this because she was quite intimidating and made me feel a bit upset . I felt like I was being questioned about a crime . Has anyone had this experience before ?. I'm just afraid sbe would report me to Sw in regards to how little I told her or about him himself. I have no contact with him and he's not involved he has asked and wants supervised visits and I said he hasn't been in contact because I didn't want questioned any further as I do t trust her and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her because she brought my past mental health into things as well from when I was 16 and tried to bring it into today's scenario and my capability to look after my little one . Any advice on this please 🙏

I'm so sorry that you e been left upset by this visit @C024.

She asked for his name and address like the other people and my main worry is that she would go there to his house and discuss me and what I have said and my little one

Can you tell us a bit about who the other people are?

She also asked about DV and I said no to having it with him and I said no but I did talk to a doctor about it before and she said what he was doing was

Is it possible that you were experiencing Domestic Abuse but didn't realise? Have you ever talked through what happened with Refuge?

Could it be that he is already known to the Police and Social Services? Has anyone ever suggested that you talk to your local Police about him and ask for information under Clare's Law?

I have no contact with him and he's not involved he has asked and wants supervised visits and I said he hasn't been in contact because I didn't want questioned any further as I do t trust her and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her because she brought my past mental health into things as well from when I was 16 and tried to bring it into today's scenario and my capability to look after my little one

It sounds like you have had contact with him though if he's asking for contact?

I'd think very carefully about lying to the HV about your ex. If they think that you aren't telling the truth, you run the risk of further investigations and involvement.

Any advice on this please

Yes, ask first a disclosure under Clare's Law

And if you've been crying all day over this. Try and do something nice with your LO over the weekend but you may want to talk to your GP about how you're feeling

Hello :)

Yes maybe your right. And in regards to contact I meant I haven't messaged him back or engaged in contact despite his message to me as I do not want too . Yes I would be able to talk to her more if she wasn't so just judgemental as she was asking me very personal questions.