Do you have intrusive thoughts about your children?

[lilaclilypod]

Just interested in others peoples experiences on intrusive thoughts about your children?

I've always experienced this but it's becoming quite intense now.

I imagine them dying, or me dying. It's very real, I replay the same scenarios over and over and it's becoming an obsession making sure these things can't really happen.

An example is my youngest, 1yrs old falling out an upstairs window. Every time we're upstairs I have to double, triple check every window is shut.

I've become paranoid that the dog is going to maul them to death, he's the softest dog ever he adores the boys and acts as a therapy dog for my autistic son. He has the patience of an absolute saint and is always the first to respond to my sons screaming meltdowns, I know he wouldn't hurt him, but I'm absolutely petrified of it, I make the dog or the kids come absolutely everywhere with me i try and keep them different sides of the room. I know that's not a bad thing but my worry over it is far worst than the risk posed.

I know intrusive thoughts are common, but is this verging into something more? Should I speak to someone.

I do sometimes yes. I don’t think it’s at the problem stage. Yours sounds like it’s crossed over that line. CBT is helpful for this sort of thing. A good start would be the book CBT for dummies. I’ve worked in mental health and it’s a very good starting point book!!

I think as it is affecting your behaviour it wouldn't hurt to speak to someone. You are not alone though and there are many that do have similar thoughts.

Yes I suffer with this terribly. No decent advice as I wonder the same as you! But I think it's actually quite common. This book was recommended but I've not been able to afford it: www.amazon.co.uk/Dropping-Baby-Other-Scary-Thoughts/dp/0415877008

Yes, I have diagnosed ocd. Get help sooner rather than later. It’s easier to manage the sooner it’s treated.

Oh wait, a new version : https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0367223902/ref=dpobbnevamobile

Yes, these thoughts cross my mind and I struggle to get rid of them but they don't affect my behaviour.
Yours is at the point where I think you need help.

I do, but I realise it's not normal. One of my things is that I'll write letters to them telling them how much I love them in case I die.

Unfortunately I can't afford private therapy and can't access it on the NHS as I have baby DS at home. I have tried CBT and it did nothing for me. I hope you can get some support OP.

Yeah I have these but I know they’re very common so they don’t bother me that much so I treat them as annoyances rather than anything. I’m more curious as to why my brain does it.

Yes, I experience this. It's typically a manifestation of anxiety for me. It's apparently very common with PNA/PND which I had

This isn’t normal. Keeping an actual therapy dog on the other side of the room from your kids is way over the top. I’d be concerned that you’ll transmit your anxiety to your kids.

Yes, I spoke to a health visitor and a counsellor who both said it just meant that I was a good mum who is watching out for any possible event that could harm my children. The counsellor helped me actually acknowledge the perceived threat, then weigh up the likelihood of it happening amd what i could do to feel safer.. Eg if a window was open, I would worry about my baby falling out of it (despite the fact she couldn't even lift her head!) So I would weigh up the likelihood of it happening (not likely!) and how I could feel safer (move away from the open window, close and lock the window etc) The thoughts are still there, but nothing like they were, and I know now if I'm being ridiculous or if there could be a threat

Just to add you can self refer online for an NHS counsellor and you will be seen almost straight away as you have a young baby.

When my eldest was a baby I had planned his funeral with songs. They weren’t a sickly child. I have no idea why it started it just did.

my youngest we don’t say imagine if mum was Ill or X person we always say Imagine if the wall was in a car crash what would happen - it came from them because they’d seen the news once about a terror account but they didn’t want to use examples of people we know just in case it came true

im always thinking worse case - my eldest moved away and whenever there’s an incident near their work or home I’m messaging them

I recall following a harrowing news story about a drowning in a car, I would replay in my head over and over what I would do to get my children out if our own car went under water, and would often vividly imagine failing this task.
I have played out innumerable fires, falls, drownings, cords wrapped around throats, choked grape deaths, popcorn suffocations on birthday cinema trips, hair caught in swimming pool filters, hot tub disembowlments, you name it, I’ve envisaged it. Yet my children, and I, still persist. Put it down to an overactive imagination and don’t let it affect your actions.

Yes all the time, when my anxiety is bad I have really awful scenarios running through my mind, it's not nice

Not for a long time. But I had very disturbing ones when dd was a newborn. I was beyond exhausted and not thinking straight. I didn't share them, which probably wasn't ideal, but luckily they passed. I think I was teetering on the the edge of pnd for a bit. Haven't ever felt like that again thank goodness.

Yes mine started after I had my daughter, diagnosed with post partum anxiety and ocd/intrusive thoughts when she was 4 months, tried anti depressants that helped for a while, cbt also helped, but the thoughts are still there. May be worth discussing with a doctor and know you are not alone.

Yes quite often. It was worse with DD1 I was paranoid about falling down the stairs, I would press myself up against the wall to pass them and go down them on my bum when carrying her. There were lots of other things, general
anxiety, suicidal ideation. I’d imagine my husband and kids would die every time they went out. I’d imagine the whole scenario, police at the door & what they would say. I’d imagine dying and who would find me. Eventually I went to the doctor and was put on sertraline. It really did help. I weaned off after having DD2 and still have those thoughts but they don’t take over.

Yes. It’s crippling. I do all the things you describe and then some. I have had success recently with hypnotherapy audios at bedtime to drown out the thoughts at their worst. I’ve also just started CBT.

Yes
It's manageable at the moment but escalating

Yeah, the scenarios I think about are awful. My DS is just 2 and I think him being injured, dying, kidnapped all the time. It takes me ages to fall asleep as I'm playing these invented scenarios over and over in my mind. I don't know how much is normal and when it crosses a line.

Ok so, normal but it's actually affecting my behaviour so maybe I've crossed the line.
We're seeing the health visitor tomorrow so think I will mention it and see what they say

I'll defo have a look into the books that were recommended.

Yes. It is fucking awful, isn't it? All the women in my family seem to suffer with his.

For me it really peaked after I had my 2nd daughter. It started with thoughts about what could happen to her, then progressed to unwanted thoughts about me snapping and harming her. That really messed me up so I started taking sertraline, which really helped.

Yes all the time, I thought it was normal until my Psychiatric Consultant said it wasn't, when he diagnosed by PTSD. It's not too bad these days but still happens occasionally.

I had one every day that I travelled to work for 3yrs when on my route was some cliff edge bends. In my mind the car goes over and is balancing and I can only save one of my two kids.

Yeah the brain can do some twisted shit when it wants.....

Yes, but my brother died when we were young children and my DH died when our DC were young, so I seem to be programmed to assume the worst is just around the corner.

So sorry for everyone struggling with this.