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Original poster

Bringing 6 month old baby to wedding

29 replies

Babyno21990 · 13/09/2022 15:51

Hi everyone,
Have some much needed advice. My sister is getting married later in the year and she is marrying my brother in law (husbands brother) 🙈 so every single potential child minder will be at the wedding. My initial plan was to take my 2 girls 1 of which will be 2 soon and the other will be 6 months. I am also maid of honour and my husband is best man so we are going to be super busy with both kids but I didn't mind at all and really want them there with us to celebrate, not that the 6 month old will remember anything I just wanted her there.

Anyway my mother in law has voiced concerns over the noise at a wedding etc and she's absolutely right as it can be very noisy for anyone never mind a little baby. Just wanted to know had any of you ever taken a baby this young to a wedding and if so how did it work out?
Thanks 🥰

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justaladyLOL · 13/09/2022 16:38

I would not dream of doing it
It is your sisters day not your kids
I have been to a wedding where there was a screaming kid during the ceremony it ruined it could not hear wtf was being said
Also a 6 month old will not want to be at an all day event like that not will a 2 year old
No fun for them at all
In fact utterly hideous for them

Coffeaddict · 13/09/2022 16:43

What do the bride and groom think? I have invited just nieces and nephews to my wedding so may be worth checking what they want.

It will be tricky with you both up the front for the ceremony and being busy for the day. Will the kids go to grandparents for this bit?
Was recently at a wedding where the bride and grooms 2 year old was there and she got fussy during the ceremony but nana was happy to take her out.

Original poster
Babyno21990 · 13/09/2022 16:53

My sister really wants them both there as does my brother in law. My 2 year old I'm not worried about at all as there are loads of kids going to the wedding a few her age as well that shes familiar with. I think I'll have to really think about someone to keep the 6 month old after the ceremony. Thanks for your thoughts 😊

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mdh2020 · 13/09/2022 16:56

hire a nanny to look after the children? To be honest you will have a much better time without them. Once you’ve shown them off you will want to talk to people

Princessglittery · 13/09/2022 19:24

Your biggest difficulty is the actual ceremony. You and your DH will be standing at the front so you need someone to look after your children.

In this scenario you usually sit at the back of the church/venue and any sign of disruption go outside. There is nothing worse than not being able to here the vows because someone refuses to take their baby/child out.

Your MIL is right about the potential for crying/noise during the ceremony; but she is probably more concerned that she is going to be roped in to help care for your children during the ceremony and not be able to relax and enjoy her son’s wedding.

Your Mum and MIL both deserve to play their traditional roles. You need to rule them out of any childcare during the ceremony and possibly during the day.

Who would be willing to look after your children during the ceremony? They must be prepared to sit at the back and immediately take them out if they cry/make a noise and not be pissed off having to do this.

SpringCalling · 13/09/2022 19:27

I second a nanny - you can hire just for weddings.

ChildWontStopGrowing · 13/09/2022 19:28

My sister was my matron of honour and her two kids (3 and 3mo) were at our wedding. Both kids out cold during the ceremony so worked out well!!

ApolloandDaphne · 13/09/2022 19:30

We had a small baby at our wedding and she started crying during the ceremony but it didn't bother us one bit. It was part and parcel of a happy family occasion which included everyone from babies to elderly grandparents. If your DSis and her husband to be are happy for your infant to be there then take them along. They may be very laid back about it like we were.

Orangello · 13/09/2022 19:36

My sister really wants them both there as does my brother in law

there's your answer. My sister would not have dreamt of not inviting my children, and vice versa.

ThatDreamSheep · 13/09/2022 19:42

I would go for it, all your family will be there so if someone needs to hold the baby during the ceremony there will be options. And if the bride and groom want them there then there's no question I would think. Child friendly weddings are a lot more common now I think

parietal · 13/09/2022 19:46

bring the kids. Hire a nanny to hang out at the venue and take any child who cries / grumpy / is sleepy etc off your hands. Make sure there is one room set up for the nanny to mind the kids with nappy changing / sleep space etc.

The kids can wear nice clothes & appear in the photos and be part of the events in chunks of 30 mins but then can disappear with the nanny the rest of the time.

MGee123 · 13/09/2022 19:48

We took a 5 month old to the wedding and it was fine. That said, I wasn't involved in the wedding although my husband was. So I basically took care of the baby. She was still pretty flexible at that age so we just had the buggy and she fed/napped as needed wherever we were. I think the 2 year old will be more of an issue, although I don't think so much because of the noise. Just that they will need constant attention and will be running around so harder to contain. Could you hire a nanny for the day?

LIZS · 13/09/2022 19:50

Is it the noise of the wedding or noise of your dc she is fretting about? Is it not up to b and g to decide and these are their nieces.

Hastingsontheup · 13/09/2022 19:52

mdh2020 · 13/09/2022 16:56

hire a nanny to look after the children? To be honest you will have a much better time without them. Once you’ve shown them off you will want to talk to people

This

bombombo · 13/09/2022 19:58

We took DS to a wedding when he was 6 months old. He slept in his pram through the ceremony, sat in a high chair and ate with us during the meal, and generally just quite chilled and happy! I took him up to bed at about 9pm which was late for him but he managed fine.

However, we weren't part of the bridal party so DH and I could just focus on DS. Could you hire a nanny to come to the venue with you, if your sister was ok with that?

Dacadactyl · 13/09/2022 20:06

A baby at a recent wedding I was at wore ear defenders.

grafittiartist · 13/09/2022 20:12

If I had a new family member- however tiny, Id love them at my wedding!
What a perfect chance to meet everyone.

MaChienEstUnDick · 13/09/2022 20:13

The best wedding I ever went to, the bride and groom had booked a nanny for the evening part. They set her up in a huge room (actually the bridal suite), we put our own little babies to bed and she just phoned down to reception if one cried. They happy couple had a wee one exactly the same age as DS and they were in the same position as you, that all the natural babysitters would already be at the wedding.

They didn't pay the nanny, they just told us all to bung her some cash, we gave her £50 so she did pretty well!

Would something like that work? Then she could hold your littlest when the ceremony is on. MIL is quite right - you do need a contingency plan for such a little one, you can't ask your mum to do it and you need to be up at the front. Otherwise could an aunt or cousin do the taking out if necessary?

BeeDavis · 13/09/2022 20:16

My little boy was 7 months old when we got married earlier this year. Honestly he would have been better not being there really, he was fine during the day (screamed for a bottle during the best man speech because I forgot he was due one 😂) but he’s always ready for bed no later than 7/7.30 so he was super super tired come the evening. Luckily my husband’s mum and nana put him to bed and took it in turns sitting in the hotel room with him but I don’t think he or my MIL had that great a time 😂

Glitterspy · 13/09/2022 20:16

Surely there should be a childminder there for the day. How do you or DH expect to do your duties in the wedding party otherwise?

Is it normal for brothers and sisters to marry brothers and sisters? You must have such an interesting story, I’d love to see you all interviewed for a magazine!

MsSquiz · 13/09/2022 20:17

We had 3 6 month old babies at our wedding, 2 of whom were our twin nephew and niece and their parents were in the same position as you.
The children sat with their grandparents during the church service but both parents were near enough to the children if needed.
SIL's mum & dad came to the wedding and took the kids off to bed so their parents could stay downstairs a little longer.

You can get babysitters/nannies who do day jobs for weddings. It could be helpful for you to have someone on hand if needed

washingbasketqueen · 13/09/2022 20:23

We've had lots of babies at weddings but someone has always came and picked them up- usually the in laws. In your case it's tricky but do you have friends? I would do it for my friend.

Original poster
Babyno21990 · 14/09/2022 08:59

Thanks so much everyone. So I've been thinking a lot about it and I think I'm going to take both children to the mass and the child minder will be there too incase they need taken out etc.

I don't think I'm going to take the 2 year old to the wedding, it will be chaos with me and my husband at the top table and she will want to be up with us and it won't end there she'll want to be up to pure badness. Also the journey from the Chapel to the venue is an hour and 30 minutes in which case she'd probably get with my dad but she could be crying out for both of us and we won't be close by as we will be away for photos.

Yesterday I saw her in her little dress and I'd just love her there for the full day as she loves music and loves to dance lol but I don't think it's in her best interest and I would be stressed beyond belief!

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bunnytailbreakfast · 14/09/2022 09:08

We recently took our 6 month old twins to a family wedding. DH was a groomsman so had to arrive early and was often MIA for photos.

It was a lot of stress in the lead up and I'd say that if you can stay at the venue or at least have a room there to take the baby back to it'll be a huge help. I took our twins back to our room a couple of times during the day to let them rest, have a feed and get changed.

I stressed a lot about them crying during the ceremony, thankfully as it was outside and I had their fan on their pram (it was a warm day) they slept through.

Premade formula milk and disposable teats which attach straight on were a huge help.

I wouldn't say I particularly enjoyed the day as I couldn't focus on much else than the babies- but we survived it!

Lullabies2Paralyze · 14/09/2022 09:12

Mine was 4 months and he was good as gold. Was awake during wedding but apart from some nice coos he didn’t make a noise. Then he fell asleep just before the evening main meal and slept right through all food and speeches.
we left as entertainment started as it was quite loud and also getting on so I wanted to put him to bed properly.

you could get some baby headphones if you’re worried about noise. We have some but I actually forgot to take them but saw some other babies at the wedding wearing them.

as long as someone he is comfortable with is able to look after him during wedding ceremony then the rest of the day should be no bother.