Do you have to sleep train for baby to sleep good?

[coffeetheneverythingelse]

Ftm to 6 month old who wakes a lot at night.
My mother and mother in law have both said this is what I need to do for him to sleep better.
I already decided before I got pregnant that leaving my baby to cry, for any period of time, is not something I want to do.
So for any mamas that did not do CIO or controlled crying, did your baby eventually sleep through and if so when?
I keep hearing how if I don’t sleep train he will be waking up multiple times until he’s 5/6/7 years old. If that is the case then it still won’t make me want to sleep train, but it would make me feel a lot better if someone told me their slept through before then!

I highly recommend you take a look at Basis online. Work experts in infant sleep. Amy Brown also has some links to sleep research, though this is more linked to what you feed your baby and their sleep.

The short answer is no. You don't need to sleep train and in fact while some parents say it helped, if you look at lots of babies overall sleep training doesn't actually work. It may also cause harm. You wouldn't be able to see that harm right away, it is more to do with stress levels and little developing brains.

Going with the flow, making baby with you so they develop a rhythm of day and night and riding it out is usually the best bet. However understanding the way your baby sleeps (lots of info on basis) can help you to nudge them towards a more manageable pattern.

You can do 'not tears' or 'no cry' sleep training. That's what we've done, I've never left baby to cry once. Mines 6mo and occasionally sleeps through but mostly wakes once quickly to feed (60ml so v quick) and goes back to sleep. We could probably cut out that feed but I'm ok with it for now.

Agree with PP it is almost entirely down to making sure they've had enough to eat in the day, a good daily nap schedule, and a consistent bed time routine.

I don't rush to pick up/comfort immediately, just wait to see if he's really awake, having a grumble, or actually upset, but I always go to him.

No, you don't need to sleep train. They sleep longer stretches by themselves in time. It is developmental, like they also start to roll/crawl/walk by themselves. There's a big industry out there trying to convince you otherwise but all that talk of bad habits you will never be able to undo again etc is bollocks! Don't let all this talk undermine your confidence and intuition as a mum and your responsiveness to your baby.
thebeyondsleeptrainingproject.com/

I didn’t sleep train my children. They slept all night from about age 2. Sleep training is just teaching a child to not bother crying because nobody responds. It’s cruel.

Nope it's entirely possible for a child to sleep through without sleep training, so don't listen to all the rod for your own back stuff. Although to be honest I think it's largely down to the child you get... my eldest slept through realisable from around 3 months, which was obviously down to my wonderfully consistent bedtime routine. 2nd child slept through from around 5 months. Again, well done me. Third child is 3 later this month and STILL comes in for a cuddle most nights 😩

(I am not having any more children!)

Of course not everyone has to sleep train to get a nights sleep! That said I think it is highly dependent on the baby and to some extent luck of the draw. Some babies will not settle regardless of full tummies, good sleep hygiene etc. We were lucky and didn't need to. She started sleeping through on the odd occasion around 8 months and since 11 months has been pretty consistent. She does have a dummy but only for sleep times. She always had the ability to self settle some times but not consistently. I think if you're hitting the 6/8 month mark and they can't self settle at all (ie dependent on you - feeding/rocking to sleep) I would be inclined to sleep train before they get much older.

I haven’t done sleep training with DTs. T1 slept through from 6 months. T2 has just started to. They are 28 months.

I didn’t sleep train either of mine but I did ensure I had a regular bedtime routine. Both slept through without training from about 18 months

Everyone has different definitions of what a good sleeper is and also ofnwhat sleep training is. My dd (now almost a teenager!) would likely have been a bad sleeper as a toddler etc as she was always pretty wired. I'm sure she'd have slept through eventually though!

I've asked this before on other threads and got no answer - do people not count daily feed/nap schedules, bedtime routines, and gradually reducing night feed times/amounts as sleep training? And just pausing before picking up or comforting but always being there?

Is CIO the only thing that counts as 'sleep training'?

I'll stop saying I 'sleep trained' if that's the case, we because we definitely do not do CIO.

I'm very against any sleep training and my son got all the cuddles, love and holding etc i could give him... then one day at ten months he just slept through. He did it about once a week or so then from 1 year he did it every night! 12-18 months 7pm-7am, it was bliss. Then at 18 months he started waking up very early but that blew over of its own accord. He's 4 now, sometimes comes in to my bed for a quick cuddle but that's fine by me. I would class him as a pretty good sleeper.

My youngest is having the exact same upbringing and first slept 9pm-6:30am at just 11 weeks! It's luck pure and simple. Shower them with love and cuddles imo, it's good for them and can only be of benefit.

Fwiw dd is now 5 and a half months and is back to waking like a 'normal' baby so I'm definitely not smug! They get there when they get there.

I don't think you need to leave them to cry but if sleep is a problem or you dread nighttime you might as well establish helpful routines and feeding and naps and see if that gets you anywhere.

I didn't sleep train. One slept through from 8 months, the second took 4 years before they slept through. The second is ASC so definitely not a typical sleeper anyway. Sleep depravation pickled my brain but listening to and coping with CIO would have pickled my brain even more.

Thanks everyone!

Dc1 awful sleeper only slept through at 4. Did try sleep training and failed.
DC 2 fairly good sleeper from the start and slept though just after 12 months. She’s waking more atm as she’s just started preschool. Did no sleep training with her at all. She slept when she wanted as a baby and I never left her to cry.

My LO slept through from 4 months.He’s 18m now. And by slept through I mean he didn’t wake up and had to be put back down again or be awake for some time and he didn’t need any milk/night feeds too.
I think the 4 months sleep regression hit us the other way!

I don't think there is anything wrong with sleep training done sensibly - checking them at intervals/gradual retreat etc. However I never did it with mine. They slept through the night at 11 months and 15 months. The first then stopped sleeping through at just turned 2 and started sleeping through again by 3 and has been a good sleeper for years now. The second is still only 1 - if she starts waking again I will consider sleep training as I don't fancy another year of broken sleep.

No, I didn’t sleep train any of my 3 children. I got up to them all. I’d never leave a baby crying.
they all slept through the night no problem but at different ages (2 aged 2 and the last one aged 4).
I am SO happy I didn’t sleep train. Yes it’s tiring but I think leaving children to cry is cruel

@ApronLady89 the phrase can mean different things but usually implies left to cry unless you specifically say otherwise.

You may want to rephrase if you are telling people you sleep trained without further clarification of your methods.

Sleep training means different things to different people.

Ive ‘trained’ 2 babies but never left them to cry. I think it’s about establishing a good nap routine, not letting them getting overtired and a bed time routine. Baby needs to learn to self settle, so they can link their sleep cycles. If they are waking every 2 hours through the night, it’s likely they have developed a sleep association.

if you feed them to sleep, rock them or pat them when they go to sleep, they will need you to do that every time.

I haven't done any sleep training and DS is mostly sleeping through the night now at 13 months.

The only sort of "sleep training" I've done is taught him different ways of falling asleep. So he was breast fed to sleep and I took a few weeks of popping the breast out when he was drowsy and rocking him the rest of the way to sleep until eventually it was breast feed before bed then rocked entirely to sleep. Then I did the same thing after a few more months where I would rock him till drowsy then cuddle him the rest of the way to sleep until he was eventually cuddled to sleep etc.

So I dont know if this still counts as sleep training or not, but I've never done anything to make him sleep longer, it's just been a natural transition for him.

A friend of mine sleep trained and her kids were still TERRIBLE sleepers. It definitely did help, but they didn't make it all night for many years.

I sleep trained because we had a settling issue - but honestly once we night weaned the nights dramatically improved. He slept through from 9 weeks, but if he's teething he wakes hourly sometimes

Honestly I will be doing sleep training (controlled crying) again if I have another. It's 100% worth it.

No sleep training here, sleeps 7pm-5am, feed, back down until 6.30/7am.

pitch black room, white noise machine, comforter!

I think this is sleep training! And I'd say the teaching your baby to fall asleep by themselves is key.