Please help! 5 day old baby won’t settle at all

[Samiibaby]

Hi guys
my son is 5 days old and absolutely gorgeous however he just doesn’t settle at all during the night
I’ve been awake since I had him! he fusses and cries if I even attempt to put him in his basket
I’ve had literally no sleep apart from a hour here and there and I’m at wits end that I’m doing something wrong :(
ive tried everything to get him to settle but he’s just not having it

any advice anyone?

@grumpytoddler1 thank you for the advice my lovely I do think I have a low milk supply obviously I could be wrong but I just have that feeling that it may be low as he doesn’t seem very satisfied after a breast feed
i try and give him as much breast milk as I can as it gets super painful
we may have had some success in getting him from my bed to the basket he’s asleep but stirring so I’ve kept my hand on him just to let him know I’m still close by
he made 2 little squeaks just now I don’t know if again it’s normal or if I should be on the phone ringing someone to help!
first time mum worries!

So pleased he is asleep for you!

I'd echo the advice you have had here about breastfeeding. My baby is 6 months but I was so worried at the beginning about my supply and started giving bottles. I then went for some breastfeeding support and it was sooo helpful! At the time I thought I was starving him as he seemed so hungry but it was normal behaviour to establish breastfeeding, and although it was exhausting I am so glad I stuck with it! Have you got any local breastfeeding support groups, advice lines or counsellors? You could also search for a local LL group. They also have advice lines you can ring. I remember that when I gave a bottle I used to express at the same time so I was also boosting my supply.

I also had to hold my baby upright for at least 30 mins after feeding to help him with his wind- I didn't realise that you have to wind breast fed babies too!

Also although he didn't like the swaddle initially, it may be worth trying again as it helps them to feel secure and safe in the early days. I'd Google pace feeding too as my baby struggled

Sorry posted too quick! I'm also tired from night feeding!
YouTube paced feeding as it helps to replicate breastfeeding for babies- I had to show it to a lot of my family members as they were all feeding him laying down. Good luck! It sounds like you are a brilliant mum! You've got this! Xx

At that age there’s a good chance they won’t seem satisfied after a breastfeed, they just want to feed all the time. The idea they’ll feed for a 30 minutes then clonk out to sleep for a few hours really isn’t true for most babies

Squeaks are normal, they make all kinds of crazy noises.

Breastmilk is produced on a supply and demand basis. The more he feeds today, the more milk you produce tomorrow. If you want to breastfeed then you need to step away from the formula while you are establishing your supply. As PPs have said, you can get support from local groups, lactation consultants or your home visitor. You will always worry that they’re not getting enough because you can’t see but you can measure this by wet and dirty nappies. Breastfeeding can be painful, get advice on your latch if you need to but it will settle down, I felt we really turned a corner at 10 days and after 3 weeks it started to feel a whole lot better. Multi Mam nipple balm and the compresses especially were a god send!

Also read up on the fourth trimester.

I cried every day for the first 10 days, it’s really tough going at the start. Take the help you’re given and sleep, don’t worry about your house, someone else can take care of that.

So pleased he is asleep for you.

Just wanted to add that I echo what everyone else is saying - constant feeding and rooting does not necessarily mean low supply. If giving bottles is working for you then that's great, as long as you're aware that it can affect how quickly and successfully you establish breastfeeding. However; you must do whatever you need to do to survive this newborn period!

Also, have you tried white noise / womb sounds? Game changer with both of mine. I'm currently using an app called sleep-o-phant and it seems to be making the arms to cot transition a lotttt smoother.

Hope he's letting you get a decent chunk of sleep in. Look after yourself and slow down on the housework!

Oh and look up active sleep - sometimes it might look like he’s awake but he really isn’t.

Echoing everyone else, rooting and fussiness doesn’t mean you have low supply he’s cluster feeding to bring in more milk.
it’s horrible and so hard! I actually took my new born to a&e on night 4 or 5 as she wouldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t believe she was hungry as all I’d done was feed her. The docs thoroughly examined her and said “she’s hungry”.
i set myself downstairs watching Harry Potter with alllllll the snacks and hot chocolate got cosy and warm and just accepted I’m not going to sleep and let her feed to her hearts content for 2 nights, she was fine after that. I just mentallly had to accept it would be shit and painful and tiring for 2 days and we got through it. You can do this!

also echoing the others: what the hell are you thinking doing house work this close post partum! Does it matter? No!!! Your partner or parents or guests should be doing it!!! Your job is to cuddle and feed that gorgeous boy!

good luck xxx

Also for putting down in cot (we had same issues) what worked for us was the following

• putting one of dads worn T-shirts over the mattress (like a fitted sheet) so it felt familiar without smelling of you/milk for confort
• putting a hot water bottle on the mattress for a bit to warm it up (must be a hell of a shock for babies going from nice warm cuddly arms to cold mattress)
• rolling a large muslin up like a sausage and shaping it into a U, tucking it under the aforementioned dad T-shirt and then place babies butt to the bottom of the U so it makes them feel like they’re being held.
• heart beat sounds or white noise/pink noise on spotify
• my hand on their chest (though this was more for anxious me to check they were still breathing)
• the grow egg on/red nightlight

The early days are really hard. Is he hungry? Are you breastfeeding? Has he been weighed? Is he putting on weight? Could be have wind? My baby suffered terribly with colic and he was diagnosed with a cows milk allergy. He screamed and screamed daily, it was so distressing and awful. Keep an eye on baby and take to GP if any concerns. X

Although it's so hard all your beautiful baby's behavior is completely normal! In fact its common for newborns to breastfeed every hour when not asleep. You may not be getting the best latch when breastfeeding. You want to grab your boob and then wait until he opens his mouth really wide (tickle him under the chin that often helps). Wait, wait for the wide baby bird mouth and then slam the baby on with the nipple pointing up to the roof of his mouth. This way he will get more of the areola (colored area around the nipple) this is where the milk ducts are. With a good latch he can stimulate more milk to come in. If you want to breastfeed please don't give him bottles, the more he feeds at the breast, the more your milk will come in. If your nipples are sore get some nipple guards (they saved my life with my first).

Also, hormones. Morning sickness is actually our bodies adjusting when we are pregnant to a HUGE increase in baby-making hormones. These go up at a steep rate until they finally plateau at around 3 months (for most women) and we start to feel normal again.

After you give birth you go through a massive hormone crash and it is very typical that you feel weepy for the first couple of weeks. Combined with sleep-deprivation, learning to breast feed and recovery, being a new mum can be very overwhelming. You should be sleeping and not cleaning. Let other people do that right now.

The more you breastfeed your body releases more relaxing and bonding hormones, another reason to ditch the bottles. It will take a few weeks to get establishesoao hang on in there.

I would recommend a book called "So that's what they're for!" About breastfeeding its very helpful and realistic. I think its American.

Book:
www.amazon.com/Thats-What-Theyre-Definitive-Breastfeeding/dp/159337285X

I would also suggest a Baby Nest, there are tons of brands out there. They are very cozy for newborns and you can have them next to you on the couch or mattress (obviously make sure no adult covers, pillows, duvets or blankets are near them). Bassinets often feel too large and open for newborns.
www.amazon.com/s?k=baby+nest+sleeper&crid=1VVOHDJSB6YPQ&sprefix=bbay+nest+%2Caps%2C355&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_10

Hiccups and stiff legs sounds like colic/wind or reflux. I'd feed the bottle in little amounts and wind thoroughly then keep him up right for 30 mins before trying to settle. Coleif drops are hood.

I'm not saying this will change your life cos he might just want mum.

Congratulations x

Although it's so hard all your beautiful baby's behavior is completely normal! In fact its common for newborns to breastfeed every hour when not asleep.

This.

For the first few months you get no sleep.

If you are lucky they will sleep for 3 hours but if you aren't they will sleep for an hour, all through the day and night.

Just breastfeed him every time he wakes up as it will increase your milk supply. If you want to give him a bottle only do it after you have breast fed him first.

There's some great advice on here... You are doing great.

It's so so so hard at this point, it does get better. Because they are nocturnal at the start they feed a lot at night- your milks a better quality at that time. Try to adjust your mind to for now your routine has changed.. once you can accept night time is no longer your restful time it weirdly helps. It honestly doesn't last long but it feels like forever because you're awake so much.

With my 2, I struggled to nap in the day, but when they slept I would rest.. a shower if needed but mainly sitting down, dozing, naff tv, eating! Then I'd go to bed early, whenever he settled as the longer sleep he did was always 8 to 12 or something like that..so if I stayed up until I missed a potential 4 hour chunk.

For people that combi feed, a partner giving a feed at that wake up or at 11ish can again stretch your sleep further. Put your headphones in and leave them to it if you'll do this. If baby isn't at the point of doing a few hours yet, they probably will soon.

Co sleeping really helps..do it safely and it's fine. Baby is so used to being with you he just wants to be close. I really didn't want to co sleep with my children. With my first I spent hours trying to get him into a moses.. lots of stress for me and baby. With my second I kept him with me, double bed just us, no covers near baby, he slept next to me and id rest my hand on him if needed. Gradually I'd move further away from him and then after a while he went into a moses.

I'm waffling now but hope you find something useful in my ramblings 😊

Congrats on your baby.

Day 3-5 is when your milk comes in and it comes with a huge hormonal shift which makes you cry... a lot.

Agree with others, if you want to breastfeed you need to be putting baby to breast every time he gives feeding cues. It's natural cluster feeding and it does pass. He will be doing it lots if your milk has just come in. Try not to reach for the bottle unless he has no wet nappies or isn't putting on weight.

As for sleep, this is where partner and grandparents help. They should be doing everything around the house so that you can nap and shower when the baby naps in the day.

A great book is called your baby week by week.

It gets easier and it won't be like this forever.

My milk didn't even come in until day 5? Has your milk come in? You'll know when it does as your boobs will get huge, swollen, a bit sore and suddenly leak like hell! The bottle feeding won't be helping, just keep BF. Normal (but hard) for them not to settle anywhere but you in these early days. All the rooting and feeding is baby trying to bring more milk in, each bottle you give delays that and makes the situation harder. Agree with PP you need to sleep in the day where you can, but also get yourself loads of food and water and watch a box set while baby feeds feeds feeds. 48 hours and you'll have loads of milk and a much happier baby.

Have you tired swaddling?

You have had loads of good advice here but I would also recommend following a couple of lactation consultants on Instagram for loads more information and help. You can also message them if you are struggling.

@lmj.infantfeedingsupport is a good one to start with, and I can see she has actually recently done a post on signs of low supply.

Also make sure you are drinking loads of water as you can get dehydrated. Same with good healthy food to help in your recovery.

If you want to breastfeed then you need to latch the baby on every time at this stage instead of bottles (or pump while someone else gives the bottle). Purely anecdotal but I don't believe it's about drinking a lot each time. Mine was in hospital at that stage and was weighed before and after each feed. Sometimes she drank a lot in ten minutes and other times she spent 40 minutes and had drunk 30 ml.... latch was good, they checked each time. Maybe they just want to suckle on the breast a bit because they want mum? Or biologically for you to make more milk?

I can tell you that giving a bottle without you pumping will make your milk supply less. So it's either breastfeed, or bottle AND pump.

My baby is 6 weeks and was like this. We're now cosleeping. There's a lot of great advice here on cosleeping safely. I wanted to add, please lay down in bed with him rather than trying to sit on the sofa or sit up. A lot of what makes cosleeping dangerous is people who fall asleep on the sofa or holding a baby and the baby falls into an unsafe position.

I had milk supply issues, even though my baby was drinking all of the time (seriously). The solution for me was to pump after my baby's feed to ask my body to produce more milk, then syringe feed the milk to the baby from a finger or a pipe taped to my nipple. This boosted my milk & helped my baby gain weight.

The first few days are v tough! You're doing great.

Keep offering the breast and keep baby on until he comes off of his own accord. Dont give bottles or it will destroy your supply altogether.

Head side to side means hunger.

The only way to increase supply is to keep giving the breast. Empty each breast before switching.

Keep baby with you.

Can you hear him swallowing when he is at the breast?

Congrats

Keep in mind it could be reflux or cmpa (google the symptoms) And raise with GP if you think it's a possibility

And also try to expose baby to sunlight during daytime hours. Wake for daytime feeds if sleeping. This will help them differentiate between night and day.

All the best!