Is it wrong to dress baby in pink /blue based on their gender?

[gratefulmamatobe]

I have a little girl due soon and I have bought everything in pink. Clothes, nursery decor, teddies etc.

A week ago, a friend commented saying I should be more gender neutral...

Keen to know thoughts on this?

(Obviously as she grows up, I will greatly encourage her to find the style/ colours that she loves)

But unless you stick a bow to a baby girls head people still seem to get it wrong. I had a real mixture of colours but even on the days my girls were wearing obviously girly outfits people would still say oh what's his name (I presume as they hadn't much hair - you know what with being babies and all) and I couldn't bear the headband and bows.

You can choose what you like and the baby won't care, obviously.

Pink for girls is very stereotypical and personally I wouldn't want to buy into that, even for a newborn. I'd go for more neutrals or a range of different colours.

But as long as you aren't going to try and force her into stereotypes when she gets older, it really doesn't matter.

Nothing wrong with putting girls in pink but I do think it's a bit odd to buy all one colour, any colour really. It's not like it's just pink, blue and beige in the shops - I'm having a girl imminently and the things we have for her are all kinds of patterns and colours, including both pink and blue.

Are you going to shops where it's just pink, blue and beige, or deliberately passing over the majority of stuff that is a variety of colours to find something pink because you think that's what girls should be in?

Whichever sex (your baby doesn't have a gender because that is just a political ideology you'd have to teach them when they are old enough for you to damage that way) they are, people will assume if your child is dressed all in pink they are a girl, or all in blue a boy.

If it will annoy you they get it wrong, don't do it.

If you don't care that random people will get your childs sex wrong, then dress them as you please.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me! :-/ Nothing wrong with doing the 'pink for a girl and blue for a boy' at all whilst they're babies...you've said that as she gets older you will let her make her own choices about things anyway (something I would have said was important if you hadn't already mentioned it) so really don't see an issue.I've always gone towards being fairly girly for DDs (I was brought up quite a tomboy so think I am compensating abit, haha) but when DD1 went through a spiderman, dinosaur phrase etc we embraced it, and would do with baby DD2 when she is older, despite her bedroom currently being very pink, and me dressing her in fairly girly clothes.
Babies don't know and don't care, so I don't see the problem as long as they are well cared for, warm, comfortable and safe.

People will question/criticise you on a lot after baby arrives, so try to get used to deflecting/contradicting such comments and detach youtself from this person before she says something else judgemental that gets in your head! You need supportive people around you, not ones like her.

It's really not. And the whistle blowers at the Tavistock clinic have said as much. Parents with rigid ideas of gender or fear their kid will be gay because he is likes pink are the problem.

I acknowledged that, in my last sentence. How does liking pink mean rigid stereotypes? Lots of little girls like Disney and most don't end up trans. Either extreme (you can choose your gender and girls must wear x) are problematic but we're talking about just normal wearing of pink, girls who like what they're friends have, mums who choose pink for a tiny baby

No-one cares when they are little. I have lots of photos of my son in pink babygrow because I wasn't going to replace them when I had perfectly good ones left over from my daughter. Scans aren't 100% accurate though so unless you've had chromosomes tested I hope you have kept receipts if it matters to you that a boy isn't in pink....

When I was pregnant with my daughter, having only had a son before her, I told everyone that we wouldn't be bombarding my daughter with secret propaganda in the form of pink bows and frills. She was just going to wear practical, neutral colours so she could be an engineer if she wanted to be. Then she was born and I could put enough pink bows and frilly dresses on her. If it wasn't pink or some kind of close relation to pink, she wasn't wearing it. I don't know what happened to me! She is 5 now and loves frilly pink stuff but also isn't afraid to get dirty or muck in with her brother with football. She can still be an engineer if she wants! I like cute pink stuff and don't really care what anyone says as there is only a short period of time we can dress our kids.

Lots of women (myself included) really REALLY enjoy the baby clothes part of motherhood.

Lots of the newborn stage is HARD.

Dressing them cute, for me, was one of the fun parts on some crappy, sleep deprived days.

This is your baby, you dress her how you see fit. I'd only judge you if it looked uncomfortable. Babies don't care what colour/motif etc.

The age ranges are so broad, I usually switch from mostly girls clothes to mostly boys until dd goes up a size because the boys’ are a bit bigger.
I don’t care whether they are meant for boys or girls. If I like them and (now that she can choose) she likes them and they fit nicely and are practical, there’s no difference.

She was wearing a Spider-Man hoodie and jeans one day in the supermarket and a woman came up to me and said I think it’s great the way you have her dressed, why should girls always wear pink dresses?
She just likes Spider-Man.

Often when she’s wearing boys stuff or even neutral kind of clothes, people make comments (positive or negative) like I’m trying to make a point out of it.
For all people these days talk about how there shouldn’t be these types of stereotypes anymore, I think there’s more emphasis on what everyone wears, how they look and all this superficial bs than there ever was before.

They’re just clothes.

Honestly, the Nazi-ism surrounding this is daft! Babies cannot choose their own clothes, therefore the parents can and should choose clothes which they feel is suitable for their child - the colour REALLY shouldn't matter! There is nothing wrong with dressing girls in pink/boys in blue etc. Really.

When my (now) 2 year old daughter was a baby, I was criticised by a 'friend' for dressing her in pink. She said she did not want to 'subject' her own daughter (who was also a baby) to "that level of gender stereotyping". I want made to feel guilty for dressing a girl like a girl - she was and still is dressed frequently (but not always) in pink or floral clothing. I soon ditched that 'friend' (for lots of reasons) because no parents need that level of negativity in their lives. I am happy for her to dress her child in any way she likes but she frequently judged my parenting skills in that sort of way. So, off you fuck!

I now have a 2 week old son. Most of his clothes are blue, and really I don't mind but would prefer more variety! It's actually very hard to find clothes for young babies which aren't either pink or blue. He has some grey and some white but I find them boring tbh.

There's no reason why people should be judged or criticised over what they choose to dress their babies in. I was never into frilly dresses and lace, glitter etc but do love my pink and florals! My daughter will soon be old enough to choose her own clothing and style so I reserve the right to dress her in practical things which I feel she looks lovely in. It's one of the perks of being a parent!

What is worse than the stereotypical pink and blue are the slogans which start from toddler age. The girls T-shirts have flowers and fairies and refer to being beautiful and the boys T-shirts have space rockets and cars and refer to being strong.

I want [sic] made to feel guilty for dressing a girl like a girl

What does that actually mean? What is 'dressing like a girl'?

My daughter will soon be old enough to choose her own clothing and style so I reserve the right to dress her in practical things which I feel she looks lovely in. It's one of the perks of being a parent!

So if she hates pinks and florals will you be happy to accept her choice or stick with your parental preference?

This reminds me of Denise in the Royle family saying she’d stop smoking until baby David could walk because then he could leave the room if he didn’t like it.

Oh I knew a judgy person would be along to bitch. I wasn't disappointed!

I said I dress her like a girl with some pinks and some floral. Would you rather I dressed her like a goth at two years old? Should I dress her as something else to appease you? If I dressed my son in pinks and florals, some would say I'd dressed him like a girl, but somehow it's not okay to dress a girl in that way and say you've dressed her like a girl?!

In answer to your second question, once my daughter (and son) is old enough to choose her own clothes and decide on her own style, no, I'm not going to make her wear things I prefer. There will be a transition period where we help and support her make choices about clothing (for example we're not going to allow her to wear shorts and a t-shirt outdoors in January) but once she's capable of making appropriate choices then yes, she will have free reign. I respect my children as individuals with their own likes, dislikes and preferences and will support them with that, always.

Oh yes because it is exactly the same