Is it wrong to dress baby in pink /blue based on their gender?

[gratefulmamatobe]

I have a little girl due soon and I have bought everything in pink. Clothes, nursery decor, teddies etc.

A week ago, a friend commented saying I should be more gender neutral...

Keen to know thoughts on this?

(Obviously as she grows up, I will greatly encourage her to find the style/ colours that she loves)

Yes, of course some people have beef with dresses. Dresses are much less practical for climbing, crawling, bike-riding, toileting. Obviously small girls in dresses will mostly manage to do these things in spite of their impractical outfit, and indeed some will do these things brilliantly in spite of their outfit, but on all counts they'd be better served by joggers or shorts.

In the real world other people gift your children things, and children develop pesky aesthetic opinions of their own, but for the bits of life I am actually in charge of (like the clothes I buy for my daughter) it just seems weird to imagine deliberately selecting the less practical option.

Someone else asked about whether parents who dress their children in an ungendered way dress like that themselves... in my case, it's a fair point that I'm usually dressed in women's clothes, and I wear my hair in a style much more often associated with women. But it's also true that i don't often wear pink (aesthetic choice rather than feminist objection) and I wear trousers a LOT of the time. It's also true though that I'm less active throughout the day than my children, that I have the power and convenience to change my clothes according to my activity (I wear shorts or leggings if I'm going to run or ride a bike for eg - which my daughter is going to do literally every single day at school or nursery, which is why she doesn't wear a dress there). And lastly it's also the case that as an adult woman my body is shaped quite differently to that of an adult man, so our clothes are less easily interchangeable (a nuisance when I sometimes want to wear men's boxers for eg); the opposite is true for pre-pubescent children.

I loved buying baby clothes for my dds. I was so over the moon their were both girls. Judge away I won't gaf.

Now they are older they like hearing about the special things I bought them when they were in utero/weeny babies. They seem to want to hear about that over and over. I mean like 'oh aunty x bought you that dress in that photo' 'oh mummy bought you that romper on holiday in blah'

We passed a baby shop in st ives the other day and I remembered buying dd2 a babygro with a whale on it.

I think your child hearing about the love and care and absolute delight you put into preparing for her birth/life etc is more important than what colour the baby clothes are.

DD1 was a really stocky bald baby. I put her in a dress someone bought us and she looked like Phil Mitchell in drag. She hasn't worn one since

That said, I can't stand the type of parenting that obsesses about being gender neutral at all costs to the point of forcing unwanted toys on kids, banning Disney princesses etc.

Yes I agree this is v cringey

This doesn’t happen in Europe. I had my kids in Spain and no colour coding - much better. Lots of oatmeal and navy around.

IMO sticking to pink n blues a bit naff. I used to dress my son in pink because he really suited it but I hate the colour coded look. It stinks of gender conformity.

BUT my opinion doesn’t matter. In ten years time she will be doing her thing and you’ll be past the fun of choosing outfits! Enjoy! And good luck ❤️

either way it’s very limiting

people need to go with the flow a bit and not be so hung up on either being showily gender neutral 🤮 or playing into the hands of lelly Kelly and Asda clothing tropes

my sons were mired in Dino day and diggers for about six years. Thank god my eldest is in clothes now and he has so much choice it’s amazing!

Completly unrelated to the thread but this made my 50 minutes of sleep in 24 hours self laugh for a good 5 minutes.. purely because I completly get it being that stocky bald baby and having baby pictures of me thrown around looking like a baby nightclub bouncer

I find it impossible to get away from with my DS just due to clothes anyway from the shops.

Gender neutral doesn't mean beige though my older DS loves hot pink and we get rainbow stuff, bright colours and yellows.

If you want pink then go for it. I have found the "baby colours" so light blue in my case difficult to get stains out of just be warned.

Gender neutral baby clothes are very conformist.

Our sexist society means chances are your little girl will want pink things as soon as she is old enough to be aware anyway. The fact so many little girls fall in love with pink is not a coincidence. The way girls often end up with dolls, often coming in pink boxes, is not a coincidence. It’s just worth being aware of the way we are products of our society, since in the very long run this leads to things like the gender pay gap and damaging misconceptions of what women are fit for.

But I hate the stereotypical marketing around babies and children so actively push against it.

I agree with this. I hate the rows of pink toys and blue toys. Why can’t they just be toys for children?
same with clothes why limit to one colours when there are some many lovely colours?
They market is finally changing, mine are late teens and I just about managed to avoid the huge swath of pink!

@dandelionthistle I disagree about the toileting, when potty training DD dresses were most suitable.

Who cares, dress her in whatever clothes you like. I wear a lot of pink myself so I'm sure if I had a girl I'd be drawn to a lot of pink girly colours for her too.

I’m having a girl this time after two boys. I hate the colour stereotypes so my dd will be wearing a mix of non pink clothes marketed at boys and girls!
My 3 year old ds lives in leggings and they will all be handed down, most of them are dark colours as they are more practical for playing in mud etc and don’t stain.
Personally I hate pink!

Everyone will have an opinion and some horrible comments to make.

I put my DS (2) in jeans and my great auntie made a comment that she can't believe I put him in jeans. Normal boy jeans???
She makes no comments on my actual amazing little boy and how great he is doing. But she does about jeans.

It's not wrong it's just a bit icky and makes you look like the kind of parent who thinks little girls should be a certain way because they are girls. Ick.

I have a mix of stuff. I got a real bargain on FB marketplace of a huge amount of second hand baby clothes that were mostly very 'girly' So economics has dictated some of it as I can't afford to buy lots of new clothing, gender neutral or otherwise.

I avoid clothes with slogans that get tailored to girls like 'be kind' etc. Unless they start putting that on boys clothing too 😄 And when she gets more active I will pick clothes that are practical so she can do stuff and not be restricted by her clothes. But overall I'm not too fussed. As she gets older, encouraging her to think about gender stereotypes and how society moulds women will be more important to me.

I preferred to bring more colour and variety into my child's life, but you do whatever you're happy with. They're just clothes.

Its fine. You don't need anyone's permission to choose clothes for your baby.

What would happen if the scan was wrong?

What will you do if someone buys your baby an outfit that isn’t pink?

"Gender neutral baby clothes are very conformist"

Dressing your child in the whole rainbow and not just pink is conforming? Right.

Although tbf an adult shouldn't care about conforming. I really wish the whole country conformed to allowing girls to be children and not just pink and pretty.

Your baby, you decide what they wear.

We have b/g twins. We were given loads of outfits when they were born. They wore whichever I picked up first so sometimes DS wore lilac and DD blue and another day DS wore grey and DD orange.

I liked them in a variety of colours and not just the stereotypical pink and blue.

Oh for fuck sake.

Sounds like you've been brainwashed tbh.

Oh God I despair, people have totally lost the plot. Tell your friend to butt out (and get a grip). Dress your baby in what you want!