Advice on shopping list for 4 year old and 6 year old

[AdoptiveDads]

We are soon to become the adoptive dads of a 4 year old boy, and 6 year old girl! Very exciting but also stressful, as we are trying to prepare. Any advice on a shopping list of must haves for the ages of the kids above? For instance what medicines do we need to stock up with for general ailments for kids of 4 and 6? Do we need anything specific for a 6 year old girl, as we are two men we are not quite sure if there is anything we haven’t thought of ? And advice would be gratefully accepted. Thanks

We adopted our kids at nearly the same age - 5 and 7. Have Calpol and plasters but anything else you can get as you go along. They will bring lots of clothes and toys with them from FC so don't feel like you need to go out and get lots of new stuff - we got a few bits but DC were very attached to their own things.

If I can give you another piece of advice so you don't go wrong like we did - try to spend as much time at home as you can in the first weeks - we tried to take ours out a lot, even to parks or shops was very stressful and they hated it. Let them settle into their new home. You probably know this but we tried to do too much too early and they hated it. We realised after a few trips out that they just wanted to play at home abs the watch CBeebies.

So exciting and congratulations!

Thank you so much! We were thinking about planning days out in the first few weeks but will heed the advice and cut those right down. Thanks

To Calpol and plasters I would at children’s Ibuprofen, a forehead thermometer and Bongela (children’s).

More generally…if you have a bath mine loved bubble bath at that age and bath toys (I’d recommend ones that don’t have hollow insides, which go horrible). And having their very own toiletries (sharing may be caring but DS2 was over the moon to have his own).

I can also recommend having a visual timetable or calendar where they can see it. My kids are now 15 and 14 and still look at ours. They like to ask "what are we doing today" a LOT and this helps to reassure them, even when you're not doing a lot. They might not need it for everything in the routine but it can help them to see eg which day PE is and what will be for dinner.

My kids really need to see the dinner one - I now have a meal planner and they rely on it to know not only what we will be having but that there will definitely be something to eat.

And read everything by Sally Donovan.

Assume you would be thinking of kids specific toothpaste and brushes! Worthwhile getting them in the habit of having a kids daily multivitamin if they don't already; useful to cover things like needing a boost of vitamin d in the winter.

A tip I saw aimed at new foster parents for when kids are about to arrive - but the same sort of thing probably applies - is to resist the impulse to go too 'overboard' and completely re-decorate everything with exciting décor and fill their rooms with new toys and things as it can all be a bit overwhelming. That it can be better to keep things fairly simple, clean and comfortable but more neutral, and with a few new personal things for them, rather than having a toy shop worth of things and a brand new complete wardrobe of outfits. You can then gradually personalise it more to their interests and get them more things as they settle in.

Will they need school uniforms?

Definitely calpol, kids nurofen, plasters, ear thermometer, vitamins.

You must be so excited! I'd agree with calpol, kids ibuprofen, thermometer, plasters. I'd also add piriton and suncream depending how soon they're arriving.

I would also recommend getting some ice packs for bumps and scrapes they can help kids feel like they are getting 'treatment' and can really calm them down - they work brilliantly in child care settings. Congratulations on your new family!

Calpol and plasters, if possible plasters with dinosaurs or other pictures, as it distracts them from the scrap.

Paper, pencils & crayons in case the 6yo has homework.

Toothpaste comes in age ranges now (it didn't when I was a child, so was suprised when I had to start buying it).

Baby wipes are handy, obviously they won't need them for changing (though the 4yo may still need help after no2), but it's useful to carry them for sticky hands.

Sun cream? I know we're past summer, but you might still have odd sunny days in September.

The only thing I'd add to this would be some hair bobbles or similar for the girl.
A "no more tears" shampoo and conditioner in one might be very handy.

And v quickly learn a standby safe bet for meals that you always have in. Fish fingers or pasta or toast, etc

Liquid piriton/clarytin is always good to have in. Hopefully you will have been told about any allergies but it’s good to have just in case.

Definitely a leave in conditioner and a tangle teaser brush if either of them has long hair.

Congratulations!

My friend who adopted was given the advice to not get much at the beginning, see what they come with. They will likely be very attached to what they do have and you can always get what you need want as you go.

Also don't overwhelm them with visits from family / friends. Slowly slowly.

A set of plastic beakers may be useful. If you don't use them in the house they are always good for picnics. Maybe a reusable bottle each. Having their own bottle to use both at home and out of the house helps keep drinks handy.

I presume you have the right size car seats sorted if you have a car?

Otherwise, as above. Basic first air kit but don't go overboard. You can always get things at a later date.

This is lovely!!

plastic cups and paper straws go down well in our house. A variety of toiletries and their own toothpastes - potentially a toilet seat and step for the 4yo, mine still needs the step and prefers not to sit on the big toilet seat.

Calpol and ibuprofen, a thermometer and plasters. Also I really recommend some red flannels. Whenever mine get a cut/graze we use a red flannel so they can’t see any blood, helps to keep them calmer I’ve found.

hair bands and a detangling spray - savers used to do a really good one with a fairy on the front.

For the girl I recommend lots of paper, colouring books, felt tip pens and crayola twistables and a nice pencil case. It's bound to be exciting / stressful for them both and drawing is a good way to communicate and chill.

A Gro Clock could be useful for the younger child. A great way of them knowing when it's the right time to get up in the morning, Google them.

Congratulations and good luck!!

Thank you all so much for the advice, notes made from every piece of advice. I got a bit emotional at all the great replies, didn’t think anyone would bother. Thanks

Aw this is lovely. Good luck!

My kids are similar ages. I think everything practical is covered above. Definitely get some kids plastic cups, little bowls, maybe cutlery? Mine use the plastic cups for all meals and the little plastic bowls are constantly in use for snacks, collecting random small things, baths for toys etc.

Water bottles are always handy. Mine have them by their beds. Plus they need one for school

One of the things I did when we moved house was put up a row of coat hooks at child height in our doorway. The kids could never reach the hooks in our old house and threw stuff on the floor and whined at me to get their coat down. Same for stuff in their bedrooms/bathroom - they’re more likely to use them if they can reach them.

Congratulations- I have no real advice but one thought is that with all kids bedtime relaxing can be tricky. For that age I would find a good story book you can read an bond with at bedtime. Something which can last over a week of a few pages a night. Maybe pop to a local library and nose through the kids books. Personally I would go for something fun which is older than their reading age slightly. I am really tempted to say " your a bad man mr gum " or similar something where you bond through laugher 😊

Hello! I would add a hot water bottle with cover as my 7 year old gets terrible growing back pains in his legs at night sometimes and has for the last couple of years. Also useful for tummy aches. Very random but a sting relief spray is useful for nettle stings, bee stings etc!

My four year old also prefers the child’s toilet seat and a step stool, both for on the toilet and washing hands.
Night light for their bedrooms, although I guess they might want to share a room initially.
I definitely find Ibuprofen is better at bringing their temperatures down than calpol, but if it’s a stomach upset ibuprofen can be harsh on their sore stomach.
A proper ear thermometer not one you point at their forehead.
Plasters and some gauze pads and micropore tape in case they get any big deep grazes.
Small cutlery, adult size can be heavy for their little hands.
Plastic plates and cups if you’re bothered about things getting broken. Even if you’re not, they’re likely to worry if they break something initially I guess.
Bubble bath and bath toys, even my 8 year old still plays with bath toys.
Hooks they can reach to hang their coats up and somewhere to put their shoes wellies.
Good luck, it’s so exciting! I remember well my cousins being adopted and how excited we all were.

Have a look in the works for some stories, they used to do 10 for £10 or something similar.

We particularly like anything by Julia Donaldson. I’m sure there’s one called the night time bunny that we all enjoy too. I love reading so we have a huge bookshelf with books of loads of different reading ages that anyone can help themselves to. My 6yo loves reading, drawing, colouring, crafts, Netflix and Disney plus 😂.

perhaps a blanket each - they do some fleecy ones in primark that are fairly cheap. Or wilko. we get our blankets out on the sofa to read a bedtime story together.

I got some small metal cutlery in poundland.

oh and some germolene or savlon. We call it “magic cream” for when they have a graze or cut.

Always keep some freezer food like fishfingers, nuggets, chips, pizzas in - you never know when everyone would rather have comfort food or you simply are too tired to cook.

also maybe find a small ish local park you can visit. After a while perhaps some scooters - we all love going out on those. My 6yo had to do a scooter skills challenge at school. Argos do some under £20.

Think of a place where their school bag goes- a place that's just theirs. We have a box (ikea) for each child where they put their bag/assorted crap when they come in from school. Nothing else goes in that box.
It means you can always find their school stuff and it's not a big pile of clutter.

Don't think anyones mentioned it already but have you got waterproof mattress protectors on their beds? They might have accidents at night.