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Original poster

I want to cry - 12 week old won’t stop crying. Help

29 replies

everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 16:59

My DD is 3 months this week and the lash couple of days has been fussier than normal. Crying and whinging all day.
today it’s amplified and she’s been screaming all day.
I have tried everything - feeding her/changing her/sling/bouncy chair/singing to her/cuddles/took her outside for walk in pram and fresh air/light machine in dark room as she normally likes sensory stuff like that/winding her. She still screams. She’s not poorly.
she Has always been a windy baby but has been a lot better since 8/9 weeks and today she’s constantly farting and probably taking in loads of air as she’s hysterical.

I feel terrible and I’m struggling and feel like a crap mum. She’s always been a fussy baby but I thought things weee getting better but she’s miserable and hysterical again. Im worried the neighbours will think I’m harming her as she won’t stop crying :(

she’s also now hyper aware of everything around her and distracted as seems like she is seeing more. And is constantly staring at her hands in between screaming.

I want to cry. This is so hard. I just want her to be happy. DH is working long shifts so alone and no one around atm to help which is why I’m posting here.

OP posts:
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TiredInPerpetuity · 29/08/2022 17:07

Hi OP
Have you tried skin on skin and sitting with her facing something like a blank wall? My little one is 14 weeks and sometimes gets overstimulated if I'm trying all sorts to calm her and that tends to halt it. If not, a nice bath if she usually enjoys that?

DaphneeBridgerton · 29/08/2022 17:11

She is happy and you’re not a terrible mum. It’s a difficult stage for many mums (and babies!)
I agree with PP about trying skin to skin
Have you tried white noise? Or a dummy? Both were a game changer for me
This part doesn’t last forever, even though it feels like it will

LostMySocks · 29/08/2022 17:18

Could you try a warm, deep bath? Obviously supported by you.

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Then you might like threads about these subjects:

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Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 17:22

TiredInPerpetuity · 29/08/2022 17:07

Hi OP
Have you tried skin on skin and sitting with her facing something like a blank wall? My little one is 14 weeks and sometimes gets overstimulated if I'm trying all sorts to calm her and that tends to halt it. If not, a nice bath if she usually enjoys that?

I have just tried skin to skin now and she’s calmed down!!!! She’s lying on me right now calm. Don’t know how long she will stay like this but it’s something! Thank you

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 29/08/2022 17:25

With the wind and farting could she have an allergy ?

Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 17:27

KangarooKenny · 29/08/2022 17:25

With the wind and farting could she have an allergy ?

I have been asking if she could be dairy intolerant but gp doesn’t seem to think so.. I am formula feeding and still considering trying her on dairy free one anyway as she constantly bringing something up at th moment

OP posts:
Chocolatetrifle · 29/08/2022 20:15

Has she had a vaccination recently? Would a stroll in the pram help? Or even rocking indoors in the pram? Tomorrow is a new day, you can do it, hope you are ok.

Maray1967 · 29/08/2022 21:30

I would have said try skin to skin as well - glad that has had some effect.
Any signs of teething? It is not too early for that to start, but there would be a fair amount of dribbling.

Nat888 · 29/08/2022 21:47

My 11 week old has been fussy for a few days too - infacol helped with his wind.

I'm formula feeding too and honestly.. I just tried a dairy and lactose free formula myself. Sick and tired of the GP just dismissing it. The lacto free one actually helped a little bit. They all say only use if a GP tells you to but I got so sick and fucking tired of them nit even entertaining the idea. This was when he was about 4 weeks

Milkand2sugarsplease · 29/08/2022 21:52

Have you had a look at the Wonder Weeks app? 12 weeks is Leap 3. Obvs babies all develop slightly differently but I found the WW really useful to gauge when we were due a particularly rough patch.

Have a look at Dr Sears and high needs baby too. Also Harvey Karp's 5 S theory.x

Cornishclio · 29/08/2022 21:59

I agree that looking at the wonder weeks is a good idea. 12 weeks is one of the big leaps in brain development. Glad you managed to settle her. Also try LF formula if she seems to be in pain after feeding.

Goldbar · 29/08/2022 22:05

LostMySocks · 29/08/2022 17:18

Could you try a warm, deep bath? Obviously supported by you.

This is worth a try. Warm water always helped mine calm down and made them sleepy.

Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 22:11

Maray1967 · 29/08/2022 21:30

I would have said try skin to skin as well - glad that has had some effect.
Any signs of teething? It is not too early for that to start, but there would be a fair amount of dribbling.

I thought it was too early for teething but she is dribbling a lot, and chewing on her hands?? How do you know if it’s teething?

OP posts:
Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 22:12

Chocolatetrifle · 29/08/2022 20:15

Has she had a vaccination recently? Would a stroll in the pram help? Or even rocking indoors in the pram? Tomorrow is a new day, you can do it, hope you are ok.

She has her second set of vaccines tomorrow - dreading it

OP posts:
SteerClear · 29/08/2022 22:12

White noise can sometimes help. Worth a try.

lawandgin · 29/08/2022 22:13

OP the farting and screaming sounds exactly like my DD who has just been diagnosed with cow's milk protein allergy. If recommend seeing a GP and asking for allergy formula. They will prescribe a hydrolysed formula first which still contains small amounts of dairy. If this doesn't help, go back and ask for an amino acid based formula such as neocate LCP. Honestly we saw an improvement within 24 hours. To my shame, I've always been a bit dismissive of cmpa as it seems like every other baby has it these days, but apparently mine does too!

Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 22:13

Nat888 · 29/08/2022 21:47

My 11 week old has been fussy for a few days too - infacol helped with his wind.

I'm formula feeding too and honestly.. I just tried a dairy and lactose free formula myself. Sick and tired of the GP just dismissing it. The lacto free one actually helped a little bit. They all say only use if a GP tells you to but I got so sick and fucking tired of them nit even entertaining the idea. This was when he was about 4 weeks

I’ve been asking about this for weeks because she was extremely fussy for the first 6-8 weeks and we thought colic. She’s def refluxy but she keeps bringing up her milk still and the only thing we haven’t tried in regards to that is dairy free

OP posts:
Setyoufree · 29/08/2022 22:15

The skin on skin and warm bath together idea is brilliant.

Hang in there, it does pass but I feel your pain. Been there, it was appalling!!

Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 22:16

lawandgin · 29/08/2022 22:13

OP the farting and screaming sounds exactly like my DD who has just been diagnosed with cow's milk protein allergy. If recommend seeing a GP and asking for allergy formula. They will prescribe a hydrolysed formula first which still contains small amounts of dairy. If this doesn't help, go back and ask for an amino acid based formula such as neocate LCP. Honestly we saw an improvement within 24 hours. To my shame, I've always been a bit dismissive of cmpa as it seems like every other baby has it these days, but apparently mine does too!

Oh that’s interesting - she’s been farting all day and she sounded in pain when she did :( I will go back and press harder on it as my GP is very dismissive

OP posts:
Original poster
everydayiscakeday · 29/08/2022 22:18

Setyoufree · 29/08/2022 22:15

The skin on skin and warm bath together idea is brilliant.

Hang in there, it does pass but I feel your pain. Been there, it was appalling!!

It’s so hard isn’t it. I hate seeing her like this it makes me feel helpless

OP posts:
BigYellowElephant · 29/08/2022 22:19

Do you have a stretchy sling? When my girls were fussy I would always take both our tops off (so skin to skin) and put them in the sling with white noise, worked 99% of the time

babynoname22 · 29/08/2022 22:21

This is going to sound mental but when DS did this we used to hold him up to the window. God knows why it worked but it did.

Also second skin to skin and a bath if you can.

Hang in there. It gets better. I promise

Inthesky42 · 29/08/2022 22:27

It sounds like she could have some sort of intolerance, my DD is cmpa but we only discovered it at weaning because I was breastfeeding and I don't eat a lot of dairy. Anyway I came on here to say the prescribed dairy free formulas were revolting and she would not entertain the idea of drinking them, but I tried on nannycare stage 1 (goats milk formula) and she tolerates it really well. Many babies with full blown cmpa (rash, severe vomiting etc) can't get on with nannycare but I found because my daughters reaction is more 'mild' (reflux / constipation/tummy pain ) that she gets on really well with it. It's something about the A2 protein in it that makes it easier to digest. It still has all the same goodness as a cows milk formula and is now approved as an infant formula to use from birth. Worth considering a try... Only downside.. Its expensive!

PatientlyWaiting21 · 29/08/2022 22:29

Get her some optibac baby drops, coleif drops, tummy massage, bath time and if FF then hip was life changing for our daughter.

hold in there, it will get better, scream into a pillow if you need to.

Aria999 · 29/08/2022 22:32

You could consider doing a baby massage class with her, they can show you how to massage her stomach the right way to help relieve wind. It can also be soothing for baby.