How often do you get hurt by your DC?

[Whoareyoumyfriend]

Just that really. I don't have the energy right now but will write more later once I've had some responses

Erm...never 🤷‍♀️

Dd is 16 now and there was one occasion when she was 3yo where she slapped my face.

I think that's it.

Aside from bumps and scratches as a toddler, DD has only hurt my back from wanting to be picked up when she's too big. But intentionally never. Emotionally not really either, maybe every now and then - we're pretty close and I understand her thought processes so I don't take things too personally.

DC9 has tripped me up once not paying attention but that's about it. Maybe stood on my toe once.

They will occasionally by accident but rarely. Never on purpose.

Intentionally never and accidentally is extremely rare now he is past the stage of climbing on me.

The odd physical thing when they were tiny. Emotionally a couple of times (as older teens).

This thread and all of your answers. Thank you all so much for answering.

There's hardly a day that goes by that I'm not hit, kicked, punched, pinched, scratched, bitten or spat at. Maybe 4 days a week. This week it's been most days.

I'm so sad that this is my life

How old? And do they have any diagnosed sen or MH issues?

@GoldenGorilla age 5.5. No diagnosis

Never now. He's 15 and much able to regulate himself more (ASD).

He has always been strong. I learned never to turn my back on a meltdown after being punched in just the right place on my spine so I couldn't walk for a few days.

There have been a couple of occasions where he's squared up to me but I've no problem in knocking him on his arse and he knows it, so it never goes anywhere.

Do you think there could be any SEN? What does his school say? Might be worth a chat with GP too.

Sorry you’re going through this- must be incredibly hard.

How do you respond to him? Is he punished?

Have a look at non violent communication OP. It can be a parenting technique that early help would sign post too.

Personally I'd come down really hard on it and be ultra consistent and boundaried. Take back your control in this situation before it gets worse. It won't magically get better and will be hard work at first but the results will pay off.

Ok that’s not normal for 5.5, so you need to look into the causes.

do you think it’s likely to be SEN? Do you have any support? If you start googling for symptoms of autism in children, you’ll see lots of lists - do any of them sound familiar to you?

My DS is one year older but wasn’t behaving anything like that a year ago. You definitely need to talk to your GP and also the school to start getting support in place, there may very well be SEN involved.

9 year ds with Asd. Once or twice a week now. Will be more when he's back at school. Getting too big and strong for me to hold him off as well. Dreading him getting even bigger.

DS is quite a clumsy and enthusiastic little boy, and honestly hurts me all the time - accidentally of course. Leaping on me, waving his arms about, headbutting me when he throws himself onto me for a hug. I bruise easily and I think I must have a low pain threshold, so it's not great. He's very good at saying sorry though, bless him. He has suspected dyspraxia, and really does try not to do it.

School have said their are no issues.
Swimming have put a 1:1 assistant with him.

We have had support from some agencies but it's all finished now as we are "doing everything we can/should be doing." And we are "coping well."

I promise I will come back and read advice. I'm just not in that head space right now. I guess I'm just wallowing.

Sorry, I missed your follow up when I was typing - that sounds really difficult and horrible for you. I'd suspect SEN of some type. Is he the same at school?

I e had the occasion accidental head bump when they were little but otherwise never.

My son is 7, he has never done anything violent towards me. No SN.

It’s common for autistic kids to mask (ie pretend to be ok, cover up their autistic needs) in school and then all the emotion and frustration comes out at home. So it’s not unusual at all for school to say everything’s ok even when you know it isn’t.

I don’t want to assume he’s autistic just because that’s my own child’s issue but violence against the mum while seeming ok at school is a really common pattern.

see your GP. Emphasise that you’ve had support from agencies, that they’ve confirmed you’re doing everything you possibly can from a parenting perspective, but he is still violent and as he gets older that’s more of a concern/threat to your well-being,

ask for referral now for assessment for autism or anything else the GP thinks it could be.

I think he is ok at school. He isnt keen on going and things like pe day it's hard to get him in the door. No real friendships. They've done some social and emotional work but no major intervention

Spot on.