Grandparent issues help!!!

[Uggghh]

I’ve never let DP’s mother babysit our son. He’s 8mo next week.

yes this may seem bad but overall she’s quite ditsy and I truly feel she’d not keep an eye on him and her house is covered in baby hazards if she took her eye off him for a second he’d get a concussion off the marble table

I also have views I’d like respected. No TV, I don’t care if other grandkids love it I don’t want my baby under 1 watching it yet

no chocolate - he doesn’t need it and we’ve been weaning for a month and a half I don’t want him eating chocolate when he’s still got so much to try

Use proper words - aka don’t say BOC BOC for bottle of milk (don’t know if this is only my area but it’s common here and it makes me shrivel up no offence to anyone who uses that term lol)

DP however- doesn’t seem to have any views. Goes along with me and then says he ‘doesn’t give a fuck’ if our son watched TV. “Let my mum have him and do what she wants” so this is where we’re at stalemate

I specifically said he doesn’t watch tv when we went last week and she ignored me and put peppa pig on. DP looked at me because he knew and didn’t even say anything I was raging.

its now coming to the point where we constantly argue because he won’t let go how his mother hasn’t babysat and I can’t let go that she won’t respect my wishes as a parent? I said we need to compromise he just says it’s always on my terms

but in all honestly I’m the one raising our son 75% of the time while he works? So yes I have stronger views. Am I really so wrong here?!!

Think we have to remember here that grandparents are generally a godsend .. you may think she’s ‘ditsy !’ but she only wants the best I’m sure for all of you .. don’t let it cause arguments that’s not right .. her son is right too regarding she never gets to babysit.. a lot of in laws get forgotten about and that’s wrong.. build a relationship with your mil believe me it will work better ! Then in the nicest possible way you can start bringing up the issues you have or differences etc ! I lost the most wonderful mil a few years back now and yes we disagreed at times but it can work and work wonderfully too x

If you have wonderful in-laws who are wonderful grandparents, then you tend to assume that in-laws and gps are generally like yours. But this isn't always the case - there are a hell of a lot of people out there, who aren't particularly nice and who don't suddenly have personality transplants when their kids get married or have children!
Sone people have in-laws who deliberately undermine the parents or who are selfish.
I don't think the OPs mil is necessarily a terrible person but she's wrong to undermine the mother of her grandchild, whether she agrees with her or not!

I'm a bit on the fence. On the one hand, you say MIL has never babysat for your son, so I'm not sure how you've come to the conclusion that if she did then all he would do all day is watch TV and eat chocolate.

On the other hand, it's not great that the time she does spend with him she's sticking him in front of the telly. When my parents or parents in law spend time with our son (their grandson) they play with him, sing to him, show him things around the house and garden, etc. I can't imagine that they would plonk him in front of Peppa Pig. Seems a tad lazy!