Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

When did you let your child have a sleepover?

28 replies

Username1234321 · 17/08/2022 20:24

I have a 2.5 year old, my partner would like them to have a sleepover at grandparents house; I am not comfortable being away from him overnight yet. I don't know what age I would feel comfortable but I would guess not for a while yet maybe 4/5. I don't know why but I just don't think they need to. Interested to hear what others have done and if I'm being over the top?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pinkunicorns54 · 17/08/2022 20:27

My LO has been having regular sleepovers at her grandparents house since they were 1.
Does you LO go to nursery or childminder?
I found that when they started being looked after regularly by other people, I massively relaxed in regards to my anxiety around being away overnight

Thesearmsofmine · 17/08/2022 20:31

Eldest was about 6 months or so, younger ones were older but that’s because we didn’t need them to stay out for any reason. There is no right or wrong answer though, I knew at my parents house they would be well cared for and they knew grandparents well so had no issue.

MolliciousIntent · 17/08/2022 21:54

DD was 15m because of lockdown, which is a LOT older than I would have liked! Do you not trust the grandparents?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

MGee123 · 17/08/2022 22:03

To be honest, I think you're being really over the top. Staying with some randomer I can understand some worry, but grandparents surely are fine?! Our baby has stayed over 4 times with my mum already and she's only 1. Each time has gone fine. Take the opportunity for a break!

zurala · 17/08/2022 22:09

Both of mine were 7 years old before they slept over anywhere without me. But my parents don't live nearby and it would have been a long drive to get them if they were unhappy in the middle of the night.

ShakespearesSisters · 17/08/2022 22:22

About 6 months as I ended up in hospital. Grandparents stepped in. After that first one it was easier. Not sure if I would have done so early if I'd have had the choice. (It was 5 days) I managed to reestablish breast feeding. Once she wasn't having bedtime/night feeds about age 1 she probably had a sleepover once every other month maybe.

Whoareyoumyfriend · 17/08/2022 22:24

My 4.5 year old has just had his first sleepover with my mum who he is very close to. My 5.5 year old still hasn't slept over as he has different needs. Imo 4.5 years is the perfect age

AliceW89 · 17/08/2022 22:28

This is a totally personal decision. Some people are happy for DC to stay with grandparents at 6 months. For others it might be more like 6 years. Neither are wrong - it’s just preference. If you aren’t happy with the idea then just say no. It’s not a rule that DC have to stay with relatives as babies or toddlers.

Echobelly · 17/08/2022 22:31

From about 6-9 months I think in our case, but we were lucky ours were quite good sleepers by then. DD was bottle fed by that age, and would sleep through after one dream feed. Sleep was the main deciding factor for it - and we felt it good for them to get used to sleeping in other places.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 17/08/2022 22:34

At grandparents, DD has been staying over night since she was 2 months old.

Friend sleepover, 1st was at 5yo.

Barrawarra · 17/08/2022 22:34

Both of mine with my mum first around 18m. First of all DH and I would have a night in a hotel nearby so we were close by if needed, never were though. Sleepovers with SILs started around 3 for my eldest and not happened for my youngest as they don’t want both together.

Sellie555 · 17/08/2022 22:38

Mine was 4 months old. And then stayed there a couple nights a week from about a year old until he was about 12 lol. But that’s only cos they are super close and loved it

Treabrea · 17/08/2022 22:52

DD - 9mo
DS - 6mo

It's only been 1-3 nights a year depending on what we've been doing but its always glorious when we get a full night off!

mummabubs · 17/08/2022 22:53

Depends entirely on your relationship with the people hosting. My DS is 4 and hasn't had a sleepover anywhere without us yet. I'd trust my parents to have him as he's close to them and I trust them. I wouldn't let him stay overnight with DH's family even though they're his grandparents too. It's not as simple as "oh they're relatives!"

Original poster

Username1234321 · 18/08/2022 06:03

Thank you for all of the replies. Maybe if we had started earlier it would have been something they were used to, I just think now they would find it difficult when it came to going to sleep and he would miss me and get upset.

OP posts:

AuntieMarys · 18/08/2022 06:17

Mine never went to grandparents as they lived 2 hours drive away.
Started at friends when they were 8/9

Barrawarra · 18/08/2022 06:18

You just need to do what you feel comfy with, but I think you’d be surprised. Both about how upset they get, and about DC and GPs ability to handle that distress. I’m interested in you saying you don’t think they need to - are they a child who sleeps well? Just curious as myself and friends would generally bite off GPs hand to get a night off from young kids! It’s not without some anxieties about how they are, will they need me, like you say, but actually once you do it you can see how tense and in need of a break you actually were. Or I was/am!

SzeliSecond · 18/08/2022 06:21

DS is 9 with ASD & anxiety.

I know he stayed out for definite at 3mo but may have earlier too and that was with grandparents.

It was important to me that he could settle elsewhere as I went back to work at 6wks and was back working away occasionally from 5mo.

He stayed with my friends from around 2/3 and has not had a 'traditional' sleepover at a friend's yet as that is too much for him/his friends parents.

I'm pregnant now and am just not away as much anymore (and when I am DP will be home with him) so will probably try for a night or two away for our anniversary/dp's birthday when baby is 3mo - if my mum is willing and perhaps 2 or 3 other times a year.

houseofboy · 18/08/2022 06:30

My first was about 9 months but second was over a year but second wasn't such as good sleeper. They both move. Ring with grandparents so never been a problem. Only thing I have experienced recently was a friend who's fil died very suddenly and as a result her her niece ended up staying with her for a night away from parents, she at almost 7 has never had a night away from her parents and found it very stressful not being with them. I think knowing they are ok to stay with someone else is good for them in case something unexpected comes up

Original poster

Username1234321 · 18/08/2022 06:36

When I say they don't need to is because we don't have an event that we are due to go to that requires them to stay overnight, he sleeps in well now but was an awful sleeper for the first year or so. I don't think I am ready yet, or my little one but I may consider it earlier than I first thought

OP posts:

firsttimemumhere · 18/08/2022 06:45

In my family, all the kids have had various sleepovers with their aunts or nanny since as young as 3 weeks old. (Very close family) I was having real trouble with my 2 year old sleeping at my house and was exhausted, my sister told me she was having him, he slept through no problem for her. And I was really worried he would disturb her. So it's not always a given they will miss you and play up.

thelittlestbird · 18/08/2022 06:47

My DD first stayed overnight at my mum's at six weeks. I needed the break and my mum is a bloody superstar. Everyone's different.

GetThatHelmetOn · 17/12/2022 10:55

6 months.

interestingly, his best friend from nursery stayed with us for a sleepover at 2 years old when he totally refused to leave our house after his family joined us for dinner… He happily waved his parents away from the window and had a great night (neither us or his parents could believe he let them go with a wave and didn’t miss them at all!)

SamPoodle123 · 18/12/2022 22:40

1 week old....well kind of anyway :) When my dd was a newborn and my mother was staying with us, she slept with my mother in her bed the first few weeks. So it was kind of like a sleepover, in another room. She eventually had a real sleepover at 6 months when she slept at my sisters, with my mother there of course. She then had another sleepover at my sisters around 18 months....now my dd is almost 11 and lets say she really loves sleepovers at her friends :) My youngest on the other hand, who is 3 has never had a night away from me. My middle one had his first one when he was like 1 year old. But he was with my sister and it was at my parents. It was two nights when we went for a weekend away for a wedding.

comical2023 · 18/12/2022 22:44

Mine all stayed from a few months with grandma and grandpa. Now at 20, 16 and 14 I can’t count the number of times any of them have stayed out on one hand. They just like being home and hate staying out

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread