Extended BF - how/when did you stop?

[BerthaYoung]

We’re coming up for two years and I’m wondering now what’s ahead. Did your DC stop of their own accord? When? Or did you make a choice yourself? I’m starting to feel differently about it and interested to hear others’ reflections.

Around the same time as you I was feeling tapped out. Basically only did bed time feeds and son could pretty much take it or leave it. It was just habit by this stage. I just said the milk was all gone ‘none left’ a few times and that was that. No tears or tantrums! TBH I think we could’ve stopped 6 months sooner and it might have made a positive difference to night waking.

Still breastfeeding my just turned 3 year old. I am sort of thinking at this point I will just let him wean naturally.

However - we night weaned at 6 months and I am very strict about it, have no interest in becoming a human dummy and he accepted that a long time ago and never ever asks for it at night. Also, he will go to bed for my DH now - we started that at around 18 months/2, I think. And he has been away with my DH for overnight trips and been fine.

If I couldn't leave him at all, I would not still be going.

I EBF my two until they were 9 months so not extended, however, they both suddenly refused the breast overnight at exactly the same age. 18m between them. Very odd - and extremely painful going from full on feeding to zero, my boobs entered a room ten minutes before I did for quite some time afterwards...

Extended breastfed both times and feeding my 8 month old currently. Stopped with number 1 at 2 years when I was pregnant with number 2. It was easier than I expected, I think he'd been dry nursing for a while. After a week or so he had stopped asking and never asked again even when I was breastfeeding his brother . I think he'd forgotten all about it. With my second I fed through a pregnancy and stopped after that baby was born as I started to feel differently about it. Which is ok as it's a two way relationship. I stopped really slowly over a period of about three months. Gradually decreasing his dependence on it. First reducing to just morning and bedtime feeds. Then dropping bedtime feed then after that was established reduced morning feed duration and then went to not every morning but a short feed if he asked. When he was down to asking only once or twice a week. I told him the milk was gone and he was sad but ok about it.

‘Stopped offering, didn’t refuse’ from about 18 months. Eventually was only the first feed of the day in bed at around 6am. I wanted to stop at 2, so I just forced myself to get out of bed instead. Last feed was about two weeks after 2.

Oh and good luck OP!

BF until about 4.5 by that time of course he was eating proper meals, and it was just morning or evening or if he felt down-he probably fed once a day. In the meantime i got pregnant and had my daughter, who breastfed until she was about 7 months and then didnt want it anymore-so i was tandem feeding them both at one point.

She self weaned at 4

Thanks everyone, really interesting to see different experiences. We’re currently only BF morning and evening and have been for ages. There’s still some milk in there but I can’t believe it’s much! Not sure I’m ready to proactively stop yet, but will keep observing how she is with it, and my own feelings. She’s definitely used to and values the routine but I think it’s as much about chilling out in the evening as getting milk, and I wonder whether that 6pm chill time might not be doing us any favours with early morning wakes…

I read a book with them about how when you're a toddler not a baby you stop BF. Didn't offer BF in the day at first, then said that milk was asleep at nighttime and did they want a drink or a cuddle instead when they woke. That just left the bedtime feed. Then I swapped to a bottle of cows milk at bedtime (previously they wouldn't touch cows milk) and that was that.

Both my children weaned themselves by the age of three. They slowed down to twice a day morning and night then eventually stopped asking.

My dd turns 2 next month and I'm nearly 6 months pregnant. I'd prefer not to tandem feed and wanted to stop this summer. I love the closeness but with my bump getting bigger it's not so easy to feed. At first I tried to offer milk in a sippy cup but that didn't go well. I then tried shortening the time spent feeding but that didn't really help either. What has helped, to my surprise, is the introduction of a duvet instead of a sleeping bag. I tuck it in at the bottom of the cot so it can't move at night. My dd was so excited that she asked to go into her cot rather than the usual stabbing of my chest and demanding milk. I sat on the floor and read to her through the bars of the cot and then offered her water and she went to sleep. It was totally unplanned. That was last week. She's asked once each night for milk but I've offered water or said I need to pop to the bathroom to distract her and there's been no tears. I've started doing the same routine at nap time too and it works. I've not really fed in the morning for quite a while. I miss lying in bed with her and having a morning cuddle but instead we go down and have breakfast straight away and that's proved to be enough of a distraction for her. I think because she feels more grown up with the duvet she feels more accepting of a new bedtime routine. Before I'd read to her in the feeding chair and then feed her before I put her down. With the distance between us in the cot I think that's helped her to not feel milk has to happen. It's sad but also exciting to start a new stage.

That’s so sweet about your DD loving her duvet, @liquoricecravings! I don’t love the idea of tandem feeding either, so completely understand making the change now. The ambivalence (sad but exciting) describes a lot of parenting a toddler I think! The amazing changes but the time slipping past.

I stopped feeding my DD when she was 2yrs, as I was 3 months pregnant with my DS and we'd planned on stopping at 2, but mostly because it made me feel a bit nauseas. She would've carried on and it was just once at bedtime, by that point.

I stopped feeding my DS at 14 months as he was a different feeder and was never as soothed by it. He wasn't really interested anymore, so it was right for us both.

I stopped breastfeeding my 1st at age 2yrs 3 months, 12 weeks after my 2nd was born (tandem fed for a while). It was quite traumatic for us both. I was finding it had started hurting as she sucked too hard and developed a real aversion to feeding her, but she had a hard time giving it up.

My 2nd weaned herself at 2.5 years. I rarely said no but stopped offering. She got down to just using it to fall asleep and then one night didn't ask for it. Went about 2 weeks and then asked for it one night but I just said there was no milk left and we had a little cuddle and that was that.

I'm still feeding my 3rd now. She turned 2 in May. Her feeds tend to be much shorter in the evenings now and are just about relaxing and cuddling before sleep. But with both her sisters at school, she gets sad and often asks for boobie during the day again, and would happily drain both sides over and over again, whereas we had dropped all but her nap time feed until recently. I do feel like my milk might be starting to dry up though. She often says "that one all gone" after only 5 minutes or so. So who knows, I am hoping she weans herself, but if not I will put some restrictions on it such as only in bed to help reduce the number of feeds.

Still going at 25 months. She is still very keen on it and literally yelps with excitement when she gets home from nursery.

I am waiting for her understanding to get a little better before I start night weaning as that is our biggest one - with me at home she cannot fall asleep without it. Manages fine at nursery. Has occasionally fallen asleep with DH if I have gone out for the night.

Day time she is easier to distract.

weaned DS2 at 2.5 when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop of his own accord and I’d had enough of feeding round the clock. We had co-slept, so he went into his own bed and I withdrew the feeding with no protest. Should have done it sooner but I sort of didn’t know how as DS1 had weaned himself at 10 months.

We stopped at almost 5 years. I wanted to ensure she had the best immunity via constant passive immunity and gut health. But we did cut down, night weaned at 2 and then nursery put pay to much of the day feeding. Eventually just trailed off. I was happy to have reduced her risk of disease and cancer and that for myself throughout the rest of both our lives as far as I could. I would have gone on longer, but that's not to say you must continue if you don't enjoy it.

I stopped at 2 purely because I found it too much for myself, so I'm not saying you don't factor into the decision. I managed to carry on for a long time because I was focused on giving her that protection, and because I found it enjoyable.

If the latter hadn't been the case I can't say I would have continued that long.

My dd is 3 next month and she just has a quick suckle to help her fall to sleep - I really don’t mind, it last a few minutes, then she rolls away and falls asleep! I will see how we get on in the next few months.

I’m currently 16 wks pregnant & my milk dried up a few weeks ago , up until
then she was still having a feed before bed.
DD does not seem to be bothered by having no milk, she said she’s not sad and just likes my boobies to help her sleep🤣so I guess this is her naturally weaning herself, which is what I was hoping would happen. She also started sleeping through the night about 3 weeks ago so it’s seems it’s all linked.

I stopped the morning feed after her second birthday - she didn't mind. Kept the bedtime feed till 3.5 years. Skipped the odd night to go out or away. Then sometimes was too busy and husband had to put her to bed. She stopped asking every night then I realised it had been over a week so we'd stopped.

Currently feeding my 15 month old twice a day and sometimes in the night. Plan to do bedtime only from 2 again then feed till at least 2.5 but might not be as long as last time. I want to take my oldest skiing for a week without the toddler next Winter when toddler is just over 2.5.

My first 3 stopped at 2ish, when I was pregnant with the next baby. My milk just reduced massively and they lost interest. My youngest is 20 months, and showing no signs of slowing down. I'll probably just let him wean naturally.

We’ve just stopped at 2.4yo and I cannot believe how easy it was, he didn’t feed to sleep at bedtime but relied on it heavily overnight. I just wanted to stop the overnight feeds which we did by explaining to him what was happening and that he’d have water overnight now if he was thirsty and daddy would help in the night. We had some mildly rough nights and one night when he was happy enough but just refused to sleep, but after that it just clicked and he never bothered again overnight, even when we sleep right next to each other. Feed before bed was last to go but that sort of happened on his own accord too within a month or so, it was SO much easier than I imagine it was going to be.

Still feeding at 5 but I think it's habit now, she's not on for long at all and it's only at bedtime. I had a lot of remarks and judgment (and that was around 3 years old so I've stayed quiet since then!) but we aren't harming anyone so I'll just carry on till she forgets/isn't bothered anymore.

Stoped both DSs at 2…we waited for the nearest holiday week (DH is a teacher) and DH took them away to DPIL for the week. By then both were down to an evening feed (I went back FT when they were 10 months so dropped to first thing, 6pm, bedtime…dropped the 6pm pretty quickly because they’d only just eaten…swapped morning for a cup of milk about 18 months).

Stopped at 3 years and 4 months! It was only ever a night feed and then I was pregnant but sadly miscarried. Not sure if it was the taste of the milk changing or the fact I knew another baby was coming so maybe I was a bit more determined, but I just offered cuddles and no milk and after a few nights, he stopped asking. We still co-slept until he was 4 and a half though. May have continued for a couple more months had I not been pregnant but not much longer because I was starting to get a bit sick of it!