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Parenting

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Original poster

Finding it impossible to stay in with Toddler

44 replies

ml01omm · 31/07/2022 19:27

DS has just turned 2. DH and I work full time mon-fri.

At the weekend, we tend to take DS out in the morning on Sat and Sun, and just run him round the park or take swimming etc.

When it comes to the afternoon, we would rather stay -in. In fact we would really really like to just spend an afternoon at home, but we are finding it impossible.

Everytime we try, it goes wrong. If its nice weather we try setting DS up in the garden with his water table and and his sand pit, in not nice weather we get a range of toys in the living room, play dough, cars etc.

He isn't interested. He ignores whatever it is, and prefers to try and cause chaos instead, like bash the tv with his toy hammer or find whatever thing in the garden might kill him. He whinges, moans, tantrums and we just spend all our time saying 'no' and trying to distract him.

And in the end, we end up going out. nothing fancy - Just for a walk, a cycle to the shop, to go visit the duck pond over the road. Its just easier to manage , his behaviour is always so much better out. But DH and I are exhausted at always being out of the house at the weekend.

Is this normal? What are we doing wrong? If you have 2-year old who happily plays and stays at home - please tell me your secret!

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Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 31/07/2022 19:29

Does one of you sit and play with him or are you leaving him to it?

Original poster

ml01omm · 31/07/2022 19:35

One of us always sits and plays with him. We are all usually in the same room/garden, and the other is sat watching.

OP posts:

DarlingDarwin · 31/07/2022 19:59

Both of mine were like that. Got better about 3/4 years old. Sorry!!

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Changeableweather · 31/07/2022 20:06

Yeah if you want a quiet life and a tidy home, toddlers need to be outdoors 95% of the time. We take it in turns.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/07/2022 20:09

Yep my eldest was like this - even now she’s not a toy girl, she likes being out, she likes people- she’s active. It gets a lot easier at around 2.5-3; we started to colour and bake and it eased up a little. But yes 2 year olds are very physical and some are more so than others, if you’ve had a kid that will sit and play with trains etc it’s hard to understand the former.

Caspianberg · 31/07/2022 20:10

I just ignore mine in the garden tbh. He has sandpit, water play or whatever, then dh and I just get on with gardening or sit and chat with snacks and Ds just floats around either ‘helping’ us garden, playing or snacking. There’s a fair amount of things he could fall off and hurt himself, but he knows his limits and we keep an eye on him. If I’m mowing lawn or something he usually follows me with toy version

I think he’s worse if we sit next to him pointing at sand.

Caspianberg · 31/07/2022 20:12

I doubt there’s that much in your garden that will kill him, just let him wander around himself.

Imissprosecco · 31/07/2022 20:14

It's the age. DS is closer to 3 now and it's getting a bit better, although i stiĺl have to get him out on a morning for my own sanity. When DS was just 2 I used to put him in his highchair for painting/playdoh as it contained the mess and made him focus for 5 minutes. Maybe try that?

tinkertailor2 · 31/07/2022 20:18

I'm afraid some kids are just like that. My eldest was - she never sat still, wasn't bothered with toys (and yes we tried playing with her). My second is completely different and will sit playing with Lego for ages.
Tag team until they get old enough to get into other things. And when you need a break, there is always tv (you won't get any awards for not having a break and exhausting yourself).

Fupoffyagrasshole · 31/07/2022 20:19

My daughter is the same she’s 18 months

we usually all go out on a Saturday morning like you and then get home for the nap and then we usually We just take turns taking her out - one of us takes her for a bit in the afternoon and the other one can relax at home - then at least one of you gets a break.

it is hard going though isn’t it. I’m exhausted today

AliceW89 · 31/07/2022 20:23

I have a similar aged DS and he is pretty similar. He’s generally quite content to spend a few hours at home now…but still has zero interest in toys. We’re still very much in the destroying exploring the house and garden phase. If I’m feeling up to this i humour him and let him crack on, as I don’t want him to be reliant on me taking him out all the time for entertainment. I genuinely do find it easier to take him out to the park then stay at home though, without a doubt.

Rainallnight · 31/07/2022 20:25

Take it in turns to go out with him. No point in you both being exhausted by being out all weekend.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/07/2022 20:27

My DS needed to be out and about at that age. I would have killed the last panda for a day at home but it just wasn't happening.

Caspianberg · 31/07/2022 20:27

I mean mine doesn’t sit still ever. But he can now wander around house relatively safely so just goes from one thing to another. If I’m indoors an afternoon I will generally get on with cooking dinner, or we bake, or I sort or clean etc and he will potter into living room, back to kitchen, up onto stool to help in kitchen, maybe draw, upstairs to get a different book from room, downstairs, wizz around with indoor ride on, climb on sofa..

Rarely will he sit and play with toys, but he can be occupied indoors without toys for a few hours.

converseandjeans · 31/07/2022 20:32

That sounds normal & we always had to do two outings when DS was that age. He was never interested in any toys - he liked things like scooter, trampoline but mainly football. He was unable to entertain himself for longer than 5 mins.

I would suggest you take turns to take him out and about so you can both rest a bit.

Ilovetable · 31/07/2022 20:32

My first was like this and still is at 8 I’m afraid. It is exhausting, never wanting to play with toys and needing constant attention or things organised for them. My 2.5 year old can play with toys all day. It’s absolutely down to personality IMO.

Confusedteatowel · 31/07/2022 20:32

Normal ime. We're out twice a day most days.

DemelzaandRoss · 31/07/2022 20:33

Yes, a typical toddler! The best way out is to wear them out…outdoors as much as humanly possible!! It does improve (eventually)!!!

addictedtotheflats · 31/07/2022 20:38

This is me. Mines 3 now and although it is easier staying indoors because he can talk properly and doesnt run away we still go out everyday im not working.

LGBirmingham · 31/07/2022 20:39

Mine is like this at 19 months. Mind you he's been like this since about 4/5 months old. We've been going out twice a day for as long as I can remember. He's always liked doing things and got very cranky at home. He would never sit still and as soon as he could roll he would literally roll across an entire room.

I think what you describe is very normal and you should just take a weekend afternoon off each whilst the other goes out with the toddler.

RandomMess · 31/07/2022 20:39

Take it turns to take him out so you each get some down time at home over the weekend?

RuralRabbit · 31/07/2022 20:49

We live in the middle of nowhere, my 2 year old (only just turned 2) is happy to have days at home spent in the garden or just generally helping me to clean up etc.
At weekends we tend to spend at least one of the days out and about.

But in all honesty we spend a lot of time at home, combined with long walks in the countryside (there's no park here or even a shop) but he's happy enough. Sleeps well and isn't hyperactive.

We've always tried to live as slow paced as possible so not sure if that's rubbed off on him or if it's all just down to personality.

I think maybe you just need to not give in and go out, maybe after a few times he'll get used to it and find ways to occupy himself?

Blanketpolicy · 31/07/2022 20:57

Alternative one of you taking him to the supermarket/B&Q or whatever for an hour to get in a few bits and pieces with him learning to sit nicely in the trolley. With his afternoon nap, lunch, dinner there won't be much time left for chaos.

DreamingofItaly2023 · 31/07/2022 21:04

DS couldn’t stay at home at that age either, it was exhausting. It changed around the time he turned 4 and now our lives are much more relaxed.

Paq · 31/07/2022 21:46

He sounds normal and lovely. You need to tag team. In a few years (!) he'll be old enough to play well with friends and you'll get a break. 😀

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