Finding it impossible to stay in with Toddler

[ml01omm]

DS has just turned 2. DH and I work full time mon-fri.

At the weekend, we tend to take DS out in the morning on Sat and Sun, and just run him round the park or take swimming etc.

When it comes to the afternoon, we would rather stay -in. In fact we would really really like to just spend an afternoon at home, but we are finding it impossible.

Everytime we try, it goes wrong. If its nice weather we try setting DS up in the garden with his water table and and his sand pit, in not nice weather we get a range of toys in the living room, play dough, cars etc.

He isn't interested. He ignores whatever it is, and prefers to try and cause chaos instead, like bash the tv with his toy hammer or find whatever thing in the garden might kill him. He whinges, moans, tantrums and we just spend all our time saying 'no' and trying to distract him.

And in the end, we end up going out. nothing fancy - Just for a walk, a cycle to the shop, to go visit the duck pond over the road. Its just easier to manage , his behaviour is always so much better out. But DH and I are exhausted at always being out of the house at the weekend.

Is this normal? What are we doing wrong? If you have 2-year old who happily plays and stays at home - please tell me your secret!

In the early school years, one of you will probably be taking him to a kids party most weekends. So you've that to look forward to 😂

Normal

Both of mine are like that. We tag team if we need to get jobs done or some downtime.

Agree about ignoring him a bit. If it's safe to do so I'd just let him roam and get on with your stuff instead, they get the idea eventually in my experience.

Thank you everyone - its re-assuring me to hear it is normal. My friends kid was the complete opposite at this age- they never went out, always lots of photos of them playing happily in the garden and such. Glad I am not alone!

I would happily ignore him in the garden, but our garden is a bit of a do-er upper and one end of it is not safe. Naturally he spends his entire time trying to escape the safe part and wriggle his way into the unsafe part. Not helped by DH forgetting to put away hammers or his industrial strength weed killer!

Some toddlers are just like this! DD was a happy home/garden player and has always played happily by herself too, but her best pal needs to be out of the house a big portion of the day or he's climbing the walls. If you can make the garden safe it helps - we childproofed our garden so there was nothing she could really do that was bad, other than eat soil

We are lucky that our 2 year old is more compliant, but something that struck me is you said he'll be doing things like hitting the TV. I am wondering how you view that and what you do?
In reality it's not naught behaviour actually he is just expressing an interest in learning what happens when you hit things.
If you can react but saying "oh you want to hit, ok no hitting the TV but let's find something to hit" and grab the hammer and a xylophone/cushion/hammer toy. Then he can start to learn which things are ok to hammer, and it will be less frustrating to you.
But even with a compliant toddler it isn't instant!
Also we thought our garden would be dangerous, it's like one of those you see on TV shows that people can't let their kids out, but actually it's an obstacle course and he loves wandering around the slopes and lumps of wood and concrete for half finished things.
Good luck with it and it will pass eventually.

I have a child who is the opposite and I'm getting cabin fever a lot. We don't have a garden either I actually think my younger one could do with going out all the time but the older makes it impossible

My 4 year old starts school this Sept and we're only just getting to the stage where being in the house for a whole morning or afternoon doesn't drive me mad. She's happy enough but wants my attention all the time and flits from one activity to another. If you can train your child to enjoy colouring/crafting that does help but I appreciate not all children enjoy it. I don't know many people who stay at home with their pre-school children. I'm sorry to say I found it only gets worse when they stop napping too! It can be a long afternoon.

I agree with PP. Going out once a day is enough. Your toddler does need to get used to playing indoors, both with you and by themselves.
Definitely split up the looking after when indoors. One of you can be taking some me time while the other either plays with DC or gets on with housework with DC in the same room. If DC does anything unwanted then distract distract distract. If DC tantrums then ignore while they are safe and not damaging things or hold securely but as gently as possible if not.
Maybe only do one all family outing at the weekend so the other day just one of you takes him out. Otherwise DC is getting used to an awful lot of two-parenting.

DH needs a stern talking to too by the sound of it!

I have never sat and played with my DD for long periods of time, its important for children to develop their imagination, be bored and not be entertained by parents 24/7 imo. When my DD was 2 i would start her off with some toys but then leave her to it, either getting on with things, or sitting and watching my tv etc.

If she tried to hit the TV with a toy, i would have done a couple of warnings and try to distract, if she did it again then the toy gets removed.

We ended up having to take control of a big very wild garden with falls, steps, a well, poison garden (at least in effect).

It's still pretty wild and I still don't love gardening, but at just turned 3 our toddler can happily bimble around without it being heart-stopping.

A well? Eeeek.

Take it in turns with DH to cover the afternoon shift.

My 2 year old has JUST started to show some interest in independent play but its hard!

Yes, mine was like this. It's exhausting but he's much better now, I think it changed around 2.5/3.

Our routine would be out in the morning, take a picnic or go to a cafe for lunch, in the car at naptime and transfer to cot, and then have some blessed downtime while he slept. Then in the afternoon a short local walk with the scooter or to a playground, then home and Cbeebies until teatime and bed.

Now he's 3.5 he still needs to go out for a run around every day, but we don't have to fit that into the afternoon nap and he's happy pottering at home with his toys for a while.

This is why people let their toddlers have iPads. Gives you a bit of peace….!

*runs away from thread before being flamed.

We did of course remove the Hammer and redirect DS to his toy where you hammer the blocks down, when he went for the TV. We don't intentionally allow him to destroy the house. I was just an example of him getting up to mischief when at home, as opposed to playing with toys.

Same here, and we always go out in a morning to get the energy used up earlier in the day. Lot of good suggestions on this thread - supermarket/B&Q/IKEA visits are always a good shout (bonus if we actually need to go!) or a short bus/train trip somewhere further afield, even if it’s just to go to a different park.

Also this - half an hour of Bluey episodes can be a godsend.