Help- feeling low after birth

[JulyDreams]

Hi all looking for a hand hold really.

I am currently just 5 days postnatal to a beautiful and healthy girl!! We couldn't be luckier. I am devastated to be feeling like this and slightly scared as to why...? She is a great sleeper and feeder! No issues and I have great support.

My birth was a planned c section which went perfect. I am still sore though and not able to do things around the house for myself and having to rely on my amazing and reliable partner.

I am dreading him going back to work and I'm not sure if that is something to do with how I am feeling but every time I think about it I get intense worrying. He has had to do the majority of nappy changes with DD as I am sometimes hardly able to stand for long periods of times.

To be honest, the feelings started 3 days ago. Not sure if baby blues or pnd? I am also exclusively breastfeeding DD on demand and I did read this can change hormones etc...

It's generally just a feeling of anxiety rather than feeling 'low' to be honest and a dread feeling in my chest.

I would love a response or just a general chat about it. If I think of any of my other symptoms I will post.

I felt like this after DD1. I would say the first week after she was born I was abnormally anxious. Very edgy, full of dread. Was also EBF. It was undoubtedly hormones. It eased after about a week, ten days. I would say it was normal (for me) as I’m an anxious person anyway and it was just how I reacted to hormones. I found talking to my husband about it helped. Be kind to yourself.

@BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ this is totally the same as me.

I've spoken to partner and he is sympathetic but that's what makes me burst out crying even more! Just very up and down. No dread or self harm thoughts although I have intrusive thoughts slightly when it comes to DD which worry me slightly but I can easily nudge them away and then focus my mind on something else. The main concern just just anxious all the time and one edge like something pushing on my chest.... today has been the worse day out of past 5 days. I am hoping this goes by this time next week.

Hi, when I had my baby 10 months ago my MIL said to me that on day 2 or 3 post partum, I should get my milk supply and I will feel extremly up and down with my moods due to the milk hormones.
She was right! I felt absolutely fine, happy and on a high after having my baby, then on day 2 my milk came and I had the biggest mood swings ever, had a full on meltdown think tears and snot.
Could it be your milk hormones?
You will feel much better soon... Couple of weeks you'll feel more balanced
What you're feeling is completely normal, you've just had a baby and that brings on massive hormonal changes in your body.
On the other hand it could be post natal depression?
My advice is to speak to your health visitor, I did and had a call back from a lovely lady wjo I vented to and felt so much better. They really take care of your mental health post partum so make sure you use the help offered.

@MaryB90 I think you have it in ONE. My milk supply came in 2 days ago. Since then I have been teary and up and down. If breast feeding makes me feel like this I'd rather not do it surely ? Does it go back to normal?

I think they say day 5 is the worst? For me day 5 with all mine was torture. So low, lots of drama, tears, inability to make any decisions. Massive hormone surge is to blame and yes it all levels out.

My HV told me that "by Day 3 everyone cries - you, your partner, the baby". She said it with a big reassuring smile as I was a soggy hormonal mess at the time. It felt totally overwhelming, I was anxious and my mind was racing and I couldn't relax, felt horrendously down... it went on for a few days and whilst I couldn't see it ending, it did. Hope it passes for you soon

Be kind to yourself, your body has gone through some volcanic changes and is still changing with all the hormones coursing round! It does settle and you will feel better, don’t forget you’ve had major surgery as well, your brain and body were horrified while that was going on, you need quiet time, good food, and nurturing and chances are you will be just fine.
if it doesn’t settle down, get all the help there is, there’s plenty of it, don’t panic.
And congratulations too!

I’ve had 3 dc and had this after each one. I believe hormonal to do with your milk coming in, and after the first I knew what it was so just waited for it to pass, and it did! I now warn friends when they’ve had babies, as it can feel so isolating feeling that down and not knowing why. So hang in there, likely it will pass in a couple of days. If it doesn’t then do speak to your GP or health visitor though. But you are not alone!

Oh yes, I got this crushing feeling of dread as the sun started to go down every evening for the first couple of weeks. It was horrible and so unconnected to my actual general mood.

It did go really quickly. Day 10? 14? It definitely didn't last too long.

Congratulations on your lovely new baby, just keep riding the wave and speak to your HV if it doesn't go in a little bit.

If you are uncontrollably sobbing, for instance in the shower once your milk comes in and feel like the worst you've ever felt and nothing will ever feel ok again then you are completely NORMAL. It will pass and if it doesn't then the GP or health visitor can help you. Speak with your partner about your feelings and write them down to keep track. Deep breaths, sleep when the baby sleeps(if possible) watch Netflix and drink lots of water. Try and relax your mind and breathe. As for changing nappies do it on the sofa with a changing mat. Don't worry about housework and try and eat healthy-ish but if you want that chocolate you get that chocolate. It will get easier. The dread of partner going back to work is so normal but when you get alone time with your new baby you will love it. Stay strong OP your situation is NORMAL. And congratulations you have a new baby to love

Thank you SO much for all the responses- I cannot say how much this has helped me. I don't feel it is so bad as PND but I don't know. It's just a general up and down and uneasiness. It's ever since my milk has come in for past 2/3 days.

It makes you feel so isolated and alone, like im alone in my own head. DP is amazing with her and on cloud 9 and I feel like im missing out on my daughter.

I feel better tonight than I did earlier. Im so up and down.

You are not alone. Hormones are the devil, honestly you are doing amazing and to recognise that your feeling low shows that you are rational and this is a hormonal thing and like I've said if it isn't you will know in a few weeks and speak with a medical professional. Feeling alone is so common and normal and I know it's all fine and dandy being told that but in a few weeks you will look back and see it yourself that your not missing anything with your daughter this is a very commons and normal part of having a baby. Your body and mind have had a right upheaval, let it catch up and you will be back to your old self soon enough with little baby in tow.

Thank you 💕 @quietnightmare words I REALLY needed to hear right now. Taking each day as it comes- will know this time next week hopefully.

Exactly take everything day by day and at your pace. How are you feeling today? Perhaps a treat might help like a funny movie or get yourself a magazine and or have a takeaway tonight

This is completely normal, but it's awful. Day 5 is the worst in my experience. Such a strange feeling. Keep an eye on it in case it doesn't lift in a few weeks, speak to your GP or health visitor but more than likely it will pass. The milk hormones will settle, stopping breastfeeding now wouldn't make that happen any quicker. Keep talking to your partner and don't beat yourself up for not enjoying every minute now, your body has been through a lot xxx

Funny this is @quietnightmare I'm actually feeling a lot better this morning than I was yesterday... much better! I still have the anxiety only slightly but I'm feeling a lot better and positive. Very up and down. I'm wondering if I'll feel bad again at some point today.

Last night I watched a funny movie which lifted my spirits.

Thank you so so much for your kind words. I am on day 6 now and feeling better. Feeling hasn't completed disappeared.

Day 5 for me has been the worse I have ever felt. I wasn't expecting to feel like this which then makes me feel guilty. I understand it's totally normal but you feel so isolated and guilty. Such a strange time.

Guilty for feeling the way you do I should say! Especially watching DP when he is just so happy and in love. He mentioned to me yesterday- 'you haven't kissed her yet'. I did in fact kiss her on day one but haven't since. I'm giving her plenty of kisses today!

Day 3-5 for me was the worst. I remember specially crying into my tuna pasta begging my partner to tell me if I was losing my mind. It's a bit rocky for the first two weeks. It's totally normal. Your hormones are trying to level themselves out. Please speak to your midwife x

Sounds just like me @nbrown2022x

Next home visit I will speak to my midwife.

Does it get better when your first period comes back?

It got better before that. You just need to be patient and allow your body to adjust. I always told my midwife every time she visited how I felt and she reassured me! Just keep talking about your feelings xxx

Just wanted to add to the other helpful posts - hang in there, you are exhausted and in pain. I don't recommend weaning: there's lots of evidence to suggest breastfeeding reduces PND overall.

Your anxiety is (almost) rational and is there to make you careful: you are now in charge of a very vulnerable little baby so that anxiety is your body's way of helping you be on high alert for risks and problem signs. The anxiety-induced adrenaline gives you faster reflexes - ever seen those gifs where a parent catches a baby just when they're falling off a table? So don't despair, the anxiety is normal and it's nature's way of keeping our babies safe. It wears off gradually as your baby gets a bit older and more robust. It is exhausting though so do what you can to get a rest - eg grandma pushing the pram so you can nap etc.

Last thing I wanted to say was the thing that helped my PND the most was a peer support group I found via the birth trauma association website. I really recommend peer support groups. Mumsnet is one in itself so you've come to a good place :) xxx

I should add obviously it's possible to be problematically anxious in which case you could speak to your gp for help. But what you are describing sounds to me like the ordinary level of new mum anxiety! I used to feel like that when carrying newborn dd down the stairs, a little flutter of fear "what if I drop her??" It's normal, it's natural!

Thank you- probably doesn't help I haven't mentioned to anyone except DP @nbrown2022x

I am glad it gets better before then. Feeling better today- yesterday (day 5) was horrendous

Every day will get easier. Trust me. I remember I would get so overwhelmed and anxious when anyone except me or DP held DD. I couldn't wait for everyone to leave. Next time if we're lucky enough to have another, I won't want visitors for the first 5-7 days 🤣 it's just too much for the hormones! And my DP mum stayed for hours it was just not necessary! She's 4 months old now and the hormones and have definitely settled! Xx