Help- feeling low after birth

[JulyDreams]

Hi all looking for a hand hold really.

I am currently just 5 days postnatal to a beautiful and healthy girl!! We couldn't be luckier. I am devastated to be feeling like this and slightly scared as to why...? She is a great sleeper and feeder! No issues and I have great support.

My birth was a planned c section which went perfect. I am still sore though and not able to do things around the house for myself and having to rely on my amazing and reliable partner.

I am dreading him going back to work and I'm not sure if that is something to do with how I am feeling but every time I think about it I get intense worrying. He has had to do the majority of nappy changes with DD as I am sometimes hardly able to stand for long periods of times.

To be honest, the feelings started 3 days ago. Not sure if baby blues or pnd? I am also exclusively breastfeeding DD on demand and I did read this can change hormones etc...

It's generally just a feeling of anxiety rather than feeling 'low' to be honest and a dread feeling in my chest.

I would love a response or just a general chat about it. If I think of any of my other symptoms I will post.

Thank you so much for your very helpful post @M08my the responses on here have helped me 100% and have reassured me and made me realise I don't think it's AS bad as I think.

I really appreciate the responses thank you everyone. You don't realise until you go through it I suppose and how bad it can be. My pregnancy was great no problems, had the best birth I could ask for (I wanted a natural labour but baby was completely breech which started my anxiety I think from 36 weeks)

@nbrown2022x thank you! It seems we have had the same experiences!

The anxiety when someone else holds our tiny 6,4oz DD is crazy! We have had family and friends over nearly every day since she has been born (5 days) which I don't think has helped me. I had a panic attack when DP gave her to his grandad who just laid her on a cushion on his lap and he didn't interact with her at all. Poor little thing just looked so uncomfortable. I also can't wait for everyone to leave.

I agree!! When we have our second we will NOT be having visitors for a week. Mental health is so important.

DP's parents turned up around 8:30pm and didn't leave until 11:30pm... I think they got the hint when I HAD to feed DD upstairs

I had this on Day 3 with DD - we were still in hospital and I sobbed pretty much all day. I felt like the world was ending, it was horrible.

And with DS it was around Day 4 or 5. I was a panicky mess, kept thinking I couldn't do it all over again, how was I going to cope with 2, did DD hate me for "ruining her life", my feet were swollen and sore... I specifically remember standing in the kitchen looking at a pile of washing up and bottles, and just bursting into tears because there was no way I'd be able to get it all done and look after the kids (even though DH could manage). I couldn't stop crying, felt I was letting them down and I'd never feel better.

But I did, and you will. Those early days are so incredibly hard at times, but you're not missing out on your baby girl. Everything will be okay

You have to set boundaries in place. Just allow every second day for a visitor that's what we did, and also one family per day. So my friend her husband and kids, then my sister her husband and kids 2 days later. Gives you some breathing time. And also you want that bonding time with your family before DP goes back to work! Xx

You can stop the visits right now, you don't need to wait till your second child. The visiting will be exacerbating your anxiety! What you need most is rest and cuddle time. My midwife said we should all three get in bed and stay there for two weeks cuddling and doing skin to skin.

A friend of mine feels very intense anxiety when breastfeeding and none at all when she doesn't, so formula was the best fit for their family, don't be afraid to make changes if you need to for your own health.

Did anyone get anxiety when younger kids are holding your literally 3 day old? My sister and her partner wanted their kids to hold our daughter (they don't get told no a lot and kept asking to hold our baby which got my anxiety up)

I regret our first week so much. We had constant visitors, nieces and nephews included who were running around playing. Poor partner running around washing up, making cups of tea, endless. Me trying to hide my boobs when I was struggling to breastfeed. I cried over my tea, in the shower, when my baby cried for a feed… basically I was up and down like a yo-yo.
Week 2 I basically told everyone to go away, we spent a week in bed and on the sofa eating cake as a 3 not getting dressed. We were so much happier for it. There’s still time to do this. Next time it wouldn’t be so easy with a toddler running round!

Oh bless you OP. Babu blues have always hit me worst at day 5. I brought both my children home on day 5 and I felt SO down and couldn't stop crying. I remember I used to shower just so I could cry without anyone hearing me. For me it was just baby blues and me adjusting... I was feeling much better once I got into a routine, it was less daunting then!
I would absolutely advocate speaking to your midwife. Use them whilst you still have them ♥️
Don't be scared or ashamed, it's hormonal and it won't always be like this but there could be more support for you if you seek it!
Nobody and I mean nobody will think Badly of you!

Yes! Again completely natural. But trust me this does fade within time ❤️

100 percent this. As PP has said it does fade. Honestly OP you have allowed people to visit that's a massive step in itself. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Hi all, so it's officially a 5 day thing for me I think. I've felt better past few days and now on day 7!

I get the occasional anxiety but it's no where near as deep as the day 5. I will still keep an eye on it

So normal OP. How are you today?

Lovely to read some good news

Thank you @quietnightmare and @nbrown2022x you have been so reassuring. It's still 'a lot' if that makes sense. Learning all her questions etc, some anxiety still but I am not feeling so 'low'- however I would like to keep an eye on it.... DP has been amazing.. I'm dreading him going back to work.

I meant learning all her ques!

Aw it's my pleasure. Any time you feel uneasy just let us know and I'll be happy to respond! After 4 months I'm still learning her queues too lol 😂 the anxiety doesn't completely go but you just learn as you go and it makes it easier! Also, I found loads of cuddles and bonding with her, getting to know my baby makes things so much better! Another week and you'll be a different person ❤️

DP has been amazing.. I'm dreading him going back to work.

You'll be grand. You'll settle into it being just you and your little buddy.

I also think having a summer baby is nice because you can get to grips with getting out the house without also having to wrestle them into layers. And you can just go for a nice walk and call the day a success.

Keep on going, you're doing so well.
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Thank you so much @Duttercup yes you are right about summer babies- we are not having to wrestle her into layers and with a newborn just dressing her in a vest is scary enough.

You've described how I felt perfectly. It does get better with time, but you might find the feelings come and go for a while. I was diagnosed with post natal anxiety and had some talking therapy to help, but to be honest I think it did mostly resolve of its own accord. Re your partner going back to work - it might feel a bit overwhelming for the first week or so but you will settle into it. Different people find different things help but I think getting out at least once every day is really important for your mental well being. You could see if there are any free or cheap drop in sessions near you, or just choose a comfy cafe you like. Some social interaction really helps and I found looking after our daughter much less overwhelming when I was out of the house. Couldn't tell you why! Congratulations on your lovely baby, hope things settle for you but remember if they don't and you still feel you're struggling, there is help available.