How did you know you wanted a second child?

[mrsg2019]

Hello - I have one DS (15 months) and while I've always thought I'd have two children, I've found myself really content at one. Dh originally didn't want kids and since DS was born, has done a 180 and now thinks we should have another.

I was just wondering how you 'knew' and what your reasons were?

All I know is i ain’t doing this again 😂😂😂

Wish knew, mines nearly 6 and i still can't decide on a second

I knew I wanted the second before I had the first. Can’t explain why though, I just did!

Being older parents with little extended family, we knew we wanted our first to have a sibling if possible. Now pregnant with our fourth!

I always wanted 3, we have settled on 2 as I don't think I have the time or energy to do this again, there's a 4 year gap with ours though, we didn't want to have 2 in nappies and needed 1 to be in school due to FT nursery fees

Following!! My little one is almost 2 and I find myself constantly changing my mind between wanting another and then not. I think I'd be content either way though wether I have another or not :)

After first couldn't wait to do it all again.
Whilst pregnant with second I knew it would be the last time. Straight after birth I had the overwhelming feeling our family was complete, just felt like we were all here now. Husband felt the same.

Haven't been broody since.

I honestly can't decide if I/we want another child, I'm so happy with my son 2 1/2 and our family, I don't feel the need to have another child and am/would be content if I didn't.

I'd like to think you just do.

If you're spending ages contemplating a 2nd and aren't sure if you want another, you probably don't.

Following with interest! I have DS who just turned 1- feels too soon to know for sure but am struck by the idea that if you are going back and forth, you probably don't. I always thought I wanted 2 but since having 1 am overwhelmed and exhausted, I don't understand how people manage a second. However I feel really guilty about that, as it feels like I'm just not trying hard enough/should find it easier and therefore be 100% onboard for a second. It's a complicated feeling.

It's a hard question!

I'm pretty sure I want a 2nd, although for practical reasons not for a couple of years, so it may end up not happening. But my DH is less sure - found DS very hard work to start and wants a balance that's not just work and parenting. It is a very weird feeling indeed to be wanting something that you aren't going to make a decision about for years but may never be able to achieve. Yearning.

I was broody the day I had my son and after. Always wanted a second

It took 4 years to see that I'd be having another child and not a baby as I did not enjoy having a baby the first time around. Then another year of trying to convince myself one way or the other.

My first is only 7 months and I'm already broody for a second! I had a c section and want to wait the recommended 2 years before trying again. That's a lot of time to change our minds, particularly once I'm back at work and trying to juggle motherhood and a career. We will see how stretched I feel and how DH sees it. He thought he was 'one and done' before we had DS but has been happy to keep some baby clothes for the future.

Always wanted two. When dd1 started to grow out of toddler years it just felt like we were still waiting for the other shoe to drop. We were still waiting for someone else who should be there. When dd2 arrived it felt right and done.

First time round was hellish but I was lonely as a child with a 7.5 year sibling gap and knew I wanted my DD to have a sibling reasonably close in age. Second time round was so much easier. I would have gone for a third if DH had been on board. Never regretted having two. They have got on really well for the most part. Testing each other now as teens but still have some lovely moments together.

I didn’t want DS to be an only child; we’re older parents and have no immediate family near us. I didn’t particularly want a second child but after DD was born, had I been younger, I would definitely of had more, probably 4 in total.

It’s not really ages but lots of people say when they have a second or final child their family is ‘complete’ which I think that means they feel lacking with only one which I don’t.

I think that having a child is a huge decision/responsibility and should be considered from an emotional and logical perspective for what suits your family and life, not necessarily because you feel that’s the done thing.

When we had DD initially i really thought I would only want one, she was so great and everything was so good.
But then I just felt our family wasn't "done". No burning desire for another per se in fact I'm concerned we won't love the second as much 😂 but I did feel an absence/non-completion.

I used to ask myself every 6 months if I wanted another - that allowed me to put the question away in between and not dwell on it.

In the end I realised that I wouldn't stop wondering if we should have another or not, unless we just went for it. That and my mum suggested that my parents ought to leave twice as much to my sibling because of their two children vs my one. That felt like a great injustice - that my DD would be deprived of both the experience of a sibling and the advantage of twice the inheritence to compensate. I'm sure she said it on purpose to make me have another.

I’m sorry you feel guilty I’m sure that you shouldn’t and that you are trying hard enough. Even the easiest baby can be overwhelming and exhausting at times.

I have a lot of people around me who had a second and it didn’t look easy but they had a much smaller age gap etc.

I don’t buy in to the whole - the greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling, I think you should have a second because it’s the right thing for your family not just so your child has a playmate.

I love my child and husband so much and we have such an amazing time and are very blessed for the life we have, if we didn’t add to our family I would be content and wouldn’t feel lacking but I also never saw myself just having one

We always knew we'd have at least two kids. We'd discussed it before getting married and it wasn't a question in our minds. We wanted to have a family and in our minds that meant more than one child. It was kind of either have multiple kids or remain child-free. I'm aware that's not the case for everyone! Absolutely just a personal opinion, and I know a great many very happy single-child families.

After having our first, it was sort of just a matter of when rather than if. As an aside, I will say that having now had our second, I can much better understand the appeal of having a single-child family lol.

This is where I am different, I enjoyed the baby stage and I say to my husband I’d love to do it all over again with my son.

I didn't know that I wanted a second, he kind of just happened by accident. Now that he is here I am so glad!!!