I have a 4 year old dd that has been going to nursery for just over a year now. In that time she has made three very close friends. Normally after nursery pick up if the weather is nice, we all go to a small park that is directly opposite the nursery, so the children can run a round, share snacks and have fun.
We have kept this arrangement fairly casual, and if we don't happen to bump into each other at the gates, it is no biggy and we would all just see each other another day. We have on occasion done some pre arranged activities such as going to the museum, which again is extremely close to the nursery, but mostly my encounters with the other mothers have been very polite and cordial, and not crossing over the boundary of intense friendship.
I assumed this arrangement suited us all, and although I would never call the other mothers friends as such I did think that we all got on and liked each other.
A few months ago one of the other mothers decided her daughter should not have any snacks after nursery. This was not discussed in advance, and the first we knew of it was when I handed her little girl a Kinder milk slice, and her mother snatched it out of her hand and put it in her bag. I thought this was a little out of character and just dismissed it as an off day, but it was awkward with the other three little girls happily munching away and her daughter looking on with a very puzzled look on her face. I would say this happened on and off another three times, the other mums would give a bag of crisps or a sweet and again it would happen with the snatching and the snack being put in this mother's handbag, while all the other children ate happily with this little girl looking very sad.
After a while myself and the other mothers brought less and less food. We always did bring fruit as well, but it got to the point we just did not bring anything because it was clearly upsetting this particular mother, and it was awkward with her poor dd.
I thought that everything was ok after that, until one of the other mothers mentioned a dance class that was starting near the nursery, and would we all like to go and see what it was like? They offered 1 free trial class, before signing up. I thought that sounded good, so I said yes I would be interested in trying it out as I knew my dd would really enjoy a class.
Well anti snack mum erupted into a rant that 4 year olds did not need dance classes and it was against her beliefs to do such a thing because it would be pointless. The mother that suggested the class mentioned it would be fun, well that was another red rag, because fun should not come into it when learning something new said she.
Nothing else was said and we respected her choice but the rest of us did do the free trial and we were all quite impressed so we did sign up to the class, 1 hour a week and we have been going for about 5 weeks.
Since then the mother that did not want to join us has been acting even stranger. She has been picking her daughter up earlier from nursery so she would just miss us, or if she did happen to see us, she would march her dd away in the opposite direction. I don't mind being treated like a leper if I was a really nasty person and had done something wrong, but it just seems to me this whole situation has got way out of hand. It is the children I feel bad for and unfortunately after the summer I have another year of this to look forward to. I just can't believe a grown woman can act so unhinged over something so small. I am just not sure how to handle this very weird situation?
I may add if it helps none of my dds friends mothers are originally from the UK so not sure if I am missing something culture about this whole sorry situation, although the mother that is acting strange is from a different country to the other parents.
I find myself thinking about this situation way longer than I should, and at times just feel helpless and sad. Looking forward to hearing some honest opinions on this because I am clueless as to how to proceed.