Dirty Dancing for 12yo girls ? Okay?

[ChillinwiththeVillains]

DD and friends having a sleepover. All Y7, nice articulate girls who seem to have ALOT of conversations about sex and pregnancy etc.. Culturally diverse but sheltered backgroundsAt single sex school but usual themes of gay, bi, pan etc. come up in discussion. And also Roe v Wade.
I am trying to think of a film that will engage them but not perpetuate too many stereotypes or focus too much on bodily perfection.
I thought Dirty Dancing has a lead who achieves something (the jump) through practice and determination, stands up for what she thinks is right and has some nice coverage of class issues too. But is also cracking film. This is sadly not so true of eg Pretty Woman which I rewatched recently and thought was really icky.
I also thought that they may not have seen Speed and that prob isn’t as controversial but doesn’t seem too reductive of the roles of girls etc.
Would you mind as a parent if I showed either of these? Thanks for any opinions.

Re: kids choosing own films, I am a bit worried that they may need direction- one is quite young and Avengers obsessed and one white sophisticated and may choose something others don’t really like. Also I am going to need to set it all up ahead of time as I’ll get back once they are finishing supper. If they want the projector then I may need to buy DVDs (super cheap at CEX so not a stress). Actually our whole family- including 9yo recently enjoyed Ten Things I Hate About You. So maybe that’s a possibility too.

Of you're sticking to retro films, are they too old for High School Musical? My (neurodiverse) 11 year old loves those films. And Freaky Friday was fun?

I think year 7 girls would like to choose their own movie not have Mum put on one of her old faves and discuss it as a way of teaching them life lessons.

My DD loves this. But maybe not in a group. Footloose is still a favourite!

This exactly.

Let them watch what they want, once age-appropriate. They can work out out.

The life lessons stuff is a bit 🙄

Re Dirty Dancing specifically, I love it too, notwithstanding all the valid points about how it has aged. I've watched it with my DD when she was about the same age but definitely wouldn't show it to a group of girls, it's way too sexual, plus the abortion story is very clear. It's unlikely to be something all the parents would be thrilled about their DDs seeing.

They’ll be fine. At a school camp in year 7 we watched cruel intentions 2 and I know what you did last summer. It was fine. Kids like that kind of older fare.

I love Dirty Dancing but the relationship between the main characters is a bit borderline and there's a storyline around abortion.
Have they seen Clueless? My DD loved that. Has a nice storyline too.

Why do you think Wild Child is too "focused on skinny prettiness" but Clueless isn't?

Not planning on lecturing them but also keen not to show more objectification than I need to (retro feminist as well as retro film fan). Have ordered all those suggested, thank you.
They may well choose to just flick through Netflix, Disney & Prime but nice to have something that feels like a new discovery.
and noted on possible family objections, which was why I was asking. They are obviously quite curious about it and I read recently that the abortion storyline was fought for quite strongly by the (female) director as an educational and campaigning device. Went right over my head at the time but tbf so too did the dodgy sex with 11 or 12yo in Big and the Oedipal element of Back to the Future.

Oh footloose good shout too. Thanks

so too did the dodgy sex with 11 or 12yo in Big

Um, what? What happened?? This clearly went over my head in Big too...

Cmon OP, the last thing 12 year olds in 2022 want is to be forced to watch Footloose by their mother. Give the poor lasses a break and let them choose something hey think is cool.

You don’t want to be know as “that mum” which is what will happen if you insist on showing your daughters friends all these goofy old 80’s films.

They are young enough and sweet enough to think that I am cool. I have not been cool for a very very long time but they actively like retro stuff and honestly will likely prefer to watch this stuff. No compulsion.
See also wanting my old Nirvana t shirts or jewellery or even liking some old cyberdog gear (not wearing it yet!). Also shared books I used to like and her friends want to borrow too. I am enjoying it whilst it lasts but very aware she will soon think everything I suggest is terrible.

He was still a child even if he was in an adults body.
He had sex with an adult woman who wasn't phased when she found out she had sex with an 11 yo. She even makes a weird joke like "haha that explains it."

Thank you for all the suggestions. I think that I am sorted now. Appreciate all the help and even the brutal reminders that I am passé.

Dirty Dancing is a 12 according to my DVD. My DDs have seen it at that age and were fine with it. I think it's a fabulous film for girls to see. There wasn't a big gap in age between the actors and both were playing characters about a decade younger than them, DD1 commented that Patrick Swayze looked old and I just said he was playing an character much younger and told her Jennifer Grey was 27 when she filmed it and she was fine with that. When I watched it as a teenager when it first came out I didn't think he was old at all but I had already loved him in North and South (TV series about the American civil war).

I LOVED 60s films when I was a kid. And DD loves 80s and 90s films.

Stop pissing on other people's chips.

I think you should let them pick something a little bit more modern tbh, I absolutely hated films like Dirty Dancing and Footloose and they are very obviously dated. Maybe make a shortlist of films (including modern ones) and ask the girls to vote? That would also be teaching them the importance of voting 😁

@MrsTerryPratchett

Yeah but it’s highly unlikely a group of girls are all going to want to watch goofy old films like footloose or dirty dancing. I mean what’s up as the sequel sleepover movie? A carry on movie lol.

I didn't watch Carry On at the time. Sexist drivel. But I did watch lots of old stuff.

We call it having a good moviecation in our house (from Pitch Perfect!). I mean everyone should watch the best old films at some point.

It was a mistake showing DD Point Break though. She did NOT get that. You had to be there.

Each to their own, but 80s/90s films are not remotely goofy

Whatever next.

My dd watched the stage show at 12 and I thought the abortion scene went over her head until she brought it up when talking about the recent vote in America. She didn't think anything of the age gap (I didn't notice when I watched it as a teen either - too busy swooning over Patrick!).
She was a little embarrassed at one bedroom scene, but just because she was watching it surrounded by other people.
Personally I'd check with other parents before putting it on. I'd have been fine but at least one of my DD's friends parents wouldn't have been.

@DorritLittle

Footloose is incredibly goofy - it was goofy even at the time and was parodied as such as was dirty dancing. I mean “nobody puts baby in the corner!” Lol!

The popular 80s/90s films were absolutely goofy and cheesy.