3 year old still hates nursery after 8 months... wwyd?

[Swaddleblanket]

She has been going for 8 months one day a week and although she seems ok when she is there, it’s hell the night before and the morning of nursery. She wakes in the night crying begging me not to take her the next day then the morning off she cries, begs and pleads to not go. She is 3 and will be 4 in January. Shes an only child and I’m a Sahm although her dad takes her to nursery because I find it too hard and she tends to calm more with her dad. It seems the reason is she doesn’t want to leave me and although she settles once she’s dropped off, it’s like she tolerates it and then when we pick her up she bursts into tears with relief. We sort of expected this because she’s only ever been with us and not left with anyone else but it’s not almost 8 months and she’s not finding it easier.

i wonder if I should take her out but then she’s only got a year until she starts school where there is no choice. Equally I don’t like making her do something she so clearly hates.

what would you do? Have you had any experience with this and overcome it?

You know her best but my daughter is like this and loves nursery. I suspect the fact she started as 12m made a big difference - I know starting at 2 or 3 is perhaps the norm but I always think those must be the hardest ages. Having said that, I think you're being very quick to dismiss other settings. It's worth a try surely? Nursery and some independence from us brings my daughter SO much joy, even though she's a real homebody. And as a teacher I'm afraid I don't think it's too soon to think about school; certainly attending in her pre-school year will massively help. I suppose it depends when her birthday is in the year as to how far off that is.

Does she seem happy when you collect her? Do the nursery staff say she’s settled and content when she’s there?

If not, it’s the nursery and you need to find a new one. Plenty of kids co-sleep and are really connected to their parents like the way you describe and go to nursery just fine.

My youngest was my little shadow and we coslept until he was 5(!). He still is my shadow to some extent although now he’s older and obviously not interested in co-sleeping! He found going into nursery each morning really hard, there were often tears, but he LOVED it when he was there and never had anxiety about going days beforehand. He talked endlessly about the things he did at nursery and still does talk about his nursery all these years later. (He used to go 2 days per week for reference.)

I think nursery can be absolutely wonderful! But not if the child is stressed all day.

I'd say it's the going just one day a week that's the problem.