Girls' school uniform without hearts, bows or butterflies all over it??

[AlternateFri]

Buying DD's first school uniform for September. The pinafores, summer dresses and "girl" shoes are frilly, or have butterflies on the zips, heart shaped pockets and bloody bows etc etc.

"Girl" shoes are flimsy, don't fully cover the feet up. I've ordered black Velcro trainer style ones that our school allows that will keep water out and she can run about and climb in, at least. Other "boys" shoes have footballs and dinosaurs on.

Do any shops have school uniform without the stupid stereotypical gendered add ons? I've tried M&S, sainsburys, John Lewis and asda George.

I've managed to pick a few of the least offensive items. But I'd like to support a shop that wasn't doing this at all if possible.

I think you’re reading way too much into this! I never even noticed the pockets and zips etc on the uniform until reading this thread 😂. Who cares if she has heart pockets etc. In another 5-6 yrs she prob won’t be into it anyway. They’re little for such a short time.

I wad like this when my first went to school and I actually think it can go a bit far. I was very anti-pink etc.

However you don't want your child to get the impression ther is something "wrong" with expressing themseleves in a more feminine coded way alongside everything else.

If they get to school and realise there was a choice of dresses and they didnt have the choice whether to choose a star or flower is that really better?

Mine had clarks t bar style then mary janes when older all through primary and run, jumped, climbed, scooted just fine in them....

At secondary now its more clumpy shoes but they do less!

Sometimes I think its a shame boys dont get the chance to wear lighter shoes or clothes with a charm.

Don't fall into the mistake of anything female coded must be wrong.

Thing is OP you can say you’re buying the ‘unisex’ version but you’re actually buying the male version and thinking that’s better

As @life says ‘Don't fall into the mistake of anything female coded must be wrong.’

John Lewis and Marks usually have simpler uniform.

Everything feminine coded isn't wrong as such ?

but actually coding things as feminine does support the whole concept that boys and girls are fundamentally different which is hardly a neutral position

And yes there is nothing wrong with being feminine - but in current society that's agreeing implicitly to being "downgraded" as "only " female

In a perfect world all children would have equal access to all styles of clothes

And what if the girl prefers dinasours to flowers and then goes to school and the "prefers" flowers because she is encouraged to align with other girls and needs to change herself to fit in? That does happen unfortunately ( although it may not work - if you are a dinasour girl they will know )

The fashion industry is part of the patriarchal society that keeps women in their place / the fact that choices are limited in clothing is fundamentally wrong and putting up with it doesn't help

I agree in part. As I say I was quite militantly anti when my first child was small.

However You dont want to minimise your child's options for your ideology. A thread complaining about only hearts/stars qnd no car charms is different to a thread about a specific child and not actually not giving your child the option and only buying plain clothes for your child for school.

Girls can like dinasaurs AND stars. Just as boys can like a bow.

I eould allow the child the choice not make an example of her so shes the only girl who didnt get to chose lighter shoes.

Its different if the child themselves wants trousers/clumpier shoes but to in essence dress them in boy coded clothes/shoes to make a point is very unfair for a 4 year old girl. Would you dress a boy in a dress to make a point and say its their only option?

My first liked stars on dresses, then wore shorts qnd back to dresses.

Second likes the hearts and flowers!

Both are pretty awesome feminists 😁. They just don't have to be like me in hating frills!

I would try a uniform shop. They’re less likely to have motifs on all their clothes as the school choose them. Slightly more expensive though.

I feel your pain about the gendered clothes issue - its a particular bug bear of mines too.....but have you asked DD what she likes or not? If she actually likes the butterfly/hearts whatever then I'd go with those. I often have to give over to what I'd like my daughter to really wear because she genuinely loves pretty/sparkly/cute things. Although she is becoming a little gamer so recently asked for a "boys" Super Mario t-shirt in Next 🤣 Win!

I find the shops dedicated to school uniforms are the best for plain uniforms (but they are so much more expensive!). Usually find them online.

www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0870524001.html

My dd wears these trousers for school. They are not too thin and they look like girls trousers (and they are girls trousers) and they don't have a fastening.

She will be completely fine in Mary Jane kickers.

Yup I used to worry about the difference in shoes - actually they were fine!!! We never did full on ballet style always a strap or t bar when small so they stayed on. Honestly never had a problem...

She'll probably hate the sturdy Velcro shoes you've picked for her.

Be careful you're not dressing her to make a point and disregarding her feelings.

Setting an example to your daughter by wearing androgynous clothes yourself is enough.

Your knee jerk reaction to fun feminine clothes means you're restricting your child's choices and giving her one option- sensible unisex clothes.

I agree!!

When dd was little m and s did pinafores without girly zips but they were the Individual ones not the multi pack.

Now dd is older and wanted school trousers lots of them had a silver pendant or some other embellishment hanging of them

I've always bought startrite shoes which I think are better.

You’re kidding OP.
I’ve just had a look at the M&S pinafores expecting to find overly frilly, butterfly and heart adorned tat.
Instead I found totally plain pinafores with a tiny heart or butterfly attached to the zip.
Cut it off if it so offensive!

As for shoes - From experience, Black Kickers or DMs have always been better than shoes marketed as ‘school’ shoes.
They are expensive for a reason : Hardwearing & practical.

Yup its just the little charm!! Mine used to love comp

-aring rheir charms!

Mine go for dm/kickers/brogues now they're older but preffered something lighter when in infants. I really dont think either is a big deal!

We got some fairly plain school summer dresses from Sainsburys. I think the zip had a small star shaped tag. No frills on the dresses at all and good quality.

We have gingham dresses from sainsburys, their ‘sporty’ style ones have star zip pulls.
Pinafores and skirts we got from Asda, they had some that just had fake button fronts and big pockets which are handy for a tissue. direct.asda.com/george/school/girls-school-skirts/girls-grey-button-through-school-skirt/GEM836175,default,pd.html?cgid=D10M2G1C10 And direct.asda.com/george/school/pinafores-dresses/girls-grey-button-school-pinafore-dress/GEM760582,default,pd.html?cgid=D10M2G1C19 (sorry for horrible long links).
I’d have happily bought trousers but DD prefers skirts. The best tights IMO are M&S as they have the ones that are more like adults opaques that actually stay up. The standard cotton school tights were forever falling down and causing chafing.

Also, Ive found children get heavily into the pink unicorns for girls/blue dinosaurs for boys thing in reception. Was it Picasso who said you have to learn the rules before you can break them? I’m letting DD go with it for now, and I’m sure she won’t still be desperate for glittery frills and rainbows at 15 (and if she is then that’s what she’ll have).

Yes I’ve got to be honest the puff sleeve thing annoys me too. They are always shorter and offer less sun protection! I always get the unisex ones. Don’t mind about the butterfly on the zip of the M&S pinafore as it’s grey and blends in, it’s still smart. I am not a fan of a charm hanging off a pair of trousers that has no function!! Just Why?

also don’t forget one of the reasons the shops bring in differences like puff sleeves is to make more money, as people don’t then end up handing down the puff sleeve polo shirts to the kids brothers, they buy a new set.

as I said before with gingham dresses I’m less worried about frills and more worried if it’s cotton or polyester (cotton much cooler and more pleasant to wear!). I do think boys should be given a lighter summer option . In their smart shorts they always look way less comfortable than the girls in their breezy dresses.

Buy her trousers - much more practical than a dress or pinafore.

I tried to get sensible shoes for my DD as she hates cold feet. It worked for reception (although she's tiny for her age so they didn't make many school shoes in her size) but by year 1 she was adamant she wanted the Mary Jane style ones all the other girls had. I've seen others wearing ankle boots so may look at those for next year.

I am not a fan of a charm hanging off a pair of trousers that has no function!! Just Why?
Because it makes it easier to see/feel which is the front and which is the back.

Didn’t think of that 😂thanks for assuaging my rage at that one!

I felt much the same when my daughter started school, but there’s also an element of fitting in with the other girls that comes into play at school that we didn’t have at nursery. For example, DD and a few other girls wore uniform trousers in reception, but I’ve noticed that none of the girls were wearing trousers over the past winter (she’s now in Year 2).

DD was happy with dinosaur shoes from the Boys section for the first couple of years, but I could see she was reluctant to have ‘boys’ shoes this year. Thankfully Clarks did have some trainer-type school shoes in the Girls section.

It’s a fine line between encouraging individual interests, counteracting all the girl/ boy and pink/ blue stereotypes around us, but not being negative about stereotypical female interests, and understanding that school life can be made a bit easier by fitting in and having what everyone else has.

I started off with great ambitions in this direction OP and was adamant our DD would wear plain unisex black trainer-style shoes to school. After about two weeks she came home and rather mournfully said: "Why do I have boys' shoes, mummy?" (Another girl had asked her.) Rather shamefully, so desperate was I for her to feel happy and settled that I got her a pair of Mary Janes pronto, and she's never looked back. I completely understand where you're coming from on this but (and I sort of hate myself for saying this, so please don't think I don't understand your point of view!) when you're 4 and 5 and the other girls are all comparing their heart hair clips and fairy unicorn vests and Disney bloody princess pants sometimes all you want is to fit in.

Thank you for expressing it far better than I have managed to!

Exactly this.