Does anyone else feel such strong love for their baby, that it scares them

[FlllightAttendant]

I hate to sound so daft but it is bothering me still. Since Ds2 was born, I have just felt so overwhelmed with love in a way I didn't experience with ds1.
I have only ever felt this way once before - it was a cat, actually just an absolute, mindblowing love - the cat was with me for 7 weeks when he died. (he was old, and ill though I didn't know it at the time)
I am scared that loving Ds this much (he is perfect, etc, can do no wrong) is a sign that I will lose him too.

It is crazy I know. But does anyone else feel this way or am I going insane? I could not bear it, I just love him so so much and it's making me cry as I type this.

(I try not to let Ds1 know the extent of my feelings)

help

FA, here's a tissue.

Bless you, you sound all wobbly

not going insane, had this exact conversation with a group of friends last night. most had felt like this at some time or other and i def do with ds

I know exactly what you mean. I experienced this with dd2...however it does not mean that you love one more than the other. I realised that when dd2 was born I was more confident and relaxed (as opposed to shell shocked with dd1)

I had a far nicer birth experience. Also, when your second comes along you realise how precious they are. With dd1 I was practically wishing her life away (cant wait till she walks,talks etc)

I think when you have your second you realise that you dont want to miss a second of their lives.

It is perfectly natural although it can be overwhelming. I believe that I feel this way about dd2 because having dd1 taught me the importance and value of love. And there is no limit on that.

Oh thank God. You lot are great [sob]

Heres the tissue back, boysarelike tis a bit damp

Flightattendant, I remeber the story of yourpgy ith ds2 and just had to add that my mum had a similar situ with her ds2 (who's now 38).

She almost gave him up for adoption (for various reasons) but had a last minute change of heart. Now he has a special place in her heart that her other three (one older and two younger) children just can't occupy. She loves us all dearly, but I think a tiny bit of guilt and fear of how close she came to giving him away made her love him ferociously especially when he was small.

I'm not quite as wobbly but i feel similar. i feel like i've got to have a dozen children just to spread it out bit. have been freaked by flashes of images of awful things happening to dd. thought it might be because we had a bit of a traumatic birth but have spoken to several mums who say they've had it too.

Oh ddfred, I think you might have just hit the nail on the proverbial head, it is so nice of you to remember. It makes sense.

Thankyou..

Susiemj, do you think it's similar in that you had a near miss as it were?

I felt exactly the same with DS2 when he was born. However, now he is 4 I know that he is as flawed as the rest of us and I don't worry so much about it.

I think that you don't feel that way about the first one as you have hundreds of conflicting emotions going on when you become a mother for the first time that pure unadulterated love is lost amongst the worries you have about being able to cope and knowing what to do. Not necessarily to do with loving them less.

I have to say though, I had a funny five minutes after DS1 was born. I was looking in Mothercare sales when he was a few weeks old and I saw some really cute dungarees for age 9-12mths and I wondered for a split second whether it was worth getting them as he might not be living with us by the time he was 9mths! I don't know where I thought he was going but I don't think it had quite sunk in that he was with us forever!

no problem.

That's so funny Niecie!

(except ds2 is not flawed at all )

throw that back at me in 4 years!!!

It didn't happen at once to me (I was in so much pain for weeks after DD's birth that frankly I couldn't be bothered with her) but that great big heart-wrenching love happened in time. When she was several months old, whenever DH asked me "How much do you love DD?" I would cry. Literally. With tears coming down my face.

He did use this as a party trick for a while, asking me that question when we were in front of family members, etc

Better now. Mumsnet saves fa yet again.

I felt like this ABOUT DS1, i DIDN'T WITH DS2.

Of course he isn't flawed....yet!

The flaws don't appear until they start to answer you back.

FA - I feel the same way about my ds. But I also feel terrified by the fact he is dependent on me.

i don't know if it is because of the birth or not as she is 1st baby. i feel like i'm never going to let her out of my sight!

I am so glad i found this thread. I feel exact same way about my ds. He came along after 3 ivf's and i have been with him every day for 9 months and now i face having to go back to work in march and i feel physically sick at the thought of being seperated from him. I think I need him more than he needs me!!

Now I have my 3dcs I am a total hostage to fortune. I feel as though I understood netiher love nor fear before they were born and now I am terrified all the time that one of them will die before I do.

My friend once told me that she'd push her husband off a cliff to save one of her dcs, and what's more, she'd want her dh to do the same to her. I never understood her before I had my kids, but I do now ...

yes I understand this feeling although with me it didnt come until dd was about 18months! not that I didn't love her before that but just not that all-consuming scary love. Sometime I get caught up in imaginary scenarios where something has happened to her and I can't bear it.

Yes I feel exactly like this. I didn't think I would have children. I often look at ds and still can't believe he is mine and have never loved anyone as much as him. Well maybe my dad. That makes me sad as they will never meet.