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Parenting

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Thinking about a third.....

63 replies

jigger · 24/11/2004 23:45

Just wanted to know whether anyone had any thoughts to share on having a third. DS has just turned 3 & DD is 10 months old. My husband and I have talked about it and both of us think we want 3 children. Body has just about returned to normal after #2 as well so about time to kill it off again!!

DS & DD are both absolutely lovely & I love them to bits, they can be quite hard work as you would expect. Part of me says "get on with it" since DD is settled now and I haven't any plans to return to work in the near future. The other part is not so sure, not in terms of managing but, in terms of our relationship with the 2 kiddies we already have as they are so lovely. Is it a case of "the more the merrier" or will having another take away from what we already have. Or should we wait & have a bigger gap???

Would love to hear from anyone who already has 3, or if you too are thinking about it.

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MarsLady · 25/11/2004 00:05

Hi, well I have 5. Intended on having 4 however was doubly blessed with twins. I found having 3 easier than having 2. Not really sure why. It just changed the dynamics. 2 seemed too neat somehow. Of course 5 is just a number, but hey... each to their own. IMO Go For It!!!!!!

ernest · 25/11/2004 15:34

I've got 3 and currently trying for no. 4. I agree, 3 is easier than 2 & doing the baby thing a 3rd time has deffinitely been a doddle - can't say I found no. 1 easy - although hje was a "very good" baby, just so much to learn. No. 2 wasn't that easy - also a "very good" baby, but with only 17 month gap was just shear hard work. this time I've loved (nearly) every minute. Got loads more time for baby as ds 1 & 2 play with each other & with baby too.. For the 1st time I've really enjoyed the baby & the boys have really loved having a baby in the house. they're very proud of him & tell every one in the street/that we meet about baby & what he can do. they're thrilled by his development - smiling at them, waving at the, babbling to them etc. It's been a wonderful experience. I say go for it too

joash · 25/11/2004 15:45

I have 3 (although they're all grown up now - youngest 15)totally agree with Marslady and ernest - having three is easier than 2, but not quite sure why. Now have grandson to care for - so ended up with 4 really. If that's what you want to do...go for it. I loved it when they were all little.

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Tinker · 25/11/2004 15:51

My mum said having 3 was like having 4 . But then, I was the 3rd.

SantaFio2 · 25/11/2004 15:54

I think if my dd hadnt had special needs and I hadnt lost my sister when i did I would have had a third by now as it is I feel i have left it too long to have a third now (ds is 3) and think it would be too big a gap once I got round t it. Still am undecided. i would say do whatever if right for you

Gobbledigook · 25/11/2004 15:59

I have 3 and I love it. Got 3 ds's age 3yr8m, 2, 12 weeks.

I've always wanted 3, coming from a family of 3 kids myself and I loved the fun, the noise, the interaction you get with 3. Can't wait till mine are a bit bigger and are all talking and interacting even more.

For me, the jump from 1 child to 2 children was much harder than going from 2 to 3. You've already done the 'new baby plus toddler' routine so you just do the same again except you've 2 toddlers!

It's absolutely fab seeing ds1 interact with baby because of course he was a bit young to take much notice when ds2 was born. He says lovely things to him, sings to him and is really concerned if he cries etc - it's so cute!!

If I were you I'd go for it. 3 is lovely - both coming from a family of 3 and a mother of 3 perspective

Titania · 25/11/2004 16:00

I have 3....aged 5, 3 and nearly 10 months......tbh the 3rd one just seems to fit in....IMO 3 is no more hard work than 2. good luck!!

Tinker · 25/11/2004 16:02

Fio - if all continues to go well, I'll have an 8 year age gap. 3 years is nothing

Metrobaby · 25/11/2004 16:09

I keep thinking about having 3 as well. However, I'm finding the amount of laundry generated for a 4yo and 7mo hard enough as it is. My machine is on almost everyday.

Do those of you with 3+ find any time to do laundry and housework?

ernest · 25/11/2004 16:16

do NoT mention laundry.

Titania · 25/11/2004 16:27

The first thing I do in the morning is put a load of washing on....and then last thing at night as well! I do the housework as best as I can but admittedly, its no palace.....will be better once we move.....5 of us in a 2 bed first floor flat at the moment so its more a matter of we havent got room for things, and the place gets untidy easily, than the place is dirty.

SantaFio2 · 25/11/2004 16:33

thanks tinker, i do appreciate that we are having genetic counselling atm though because dd is undiagnosed so it will be more than 3 yrs if we have any more, it might even be 8, so let me know how you find it.....I really wish you well sweetie (bit gushy for me)

Gobbledigook · 25/11/2004 16:35

Metrobaby - just thinking that while I was cleaning my windows! Some people have said it's easier with 3 than 2! I found the transition easier than from 1 to 2 but it's harder work with 3 - even if you just consider the laundry. It's THE main thing that pisses me off!! I must do about 4 loads every day - seem to be constantly, washing, drying, folding, putting away....

With 3 you have 3 to get fed, to get dressed and out the door in the morning and that's clearly harder than 2 - just because there is more of it!!!

3 is great though and I wouldn't have it any other way!

lilibet · 25/11/2004 16:42

I have three and at the moment would pay someone to take one of them away

having a bad hour!

Metrobaby · 25/11/2004 16:43

Gobbledigook - my friend with 3 says exactly the same. However she is currently considering going for 4. She and her dh say the best thing about having 3 is seeing all their little faces smiling at them together.

karen01 · 25/11/2004 16:57

I have 2 at the moment and I am thinking about having a third. DD is 8 and DS is 5months. I really want to start trying for number three NOW, but DH want's to wait until DS is atleast one.

I think I will speak to DH and show him this thread about 3 being easier than two. (Even though I am finding my two really easy as DS is really placid and happy, and DD just goes with the flow.
So FIO I haven't found a problem with the big age gap I just keep reassuring DD that everything is the same between us, and she absoloutly adores her brother.

Sorry I am just waughling now.
Take care all.
Fio2- Good luck with everything
Jigger- Goodluck with the trying and enjoy hope all goes well.

poppyknot · 25/11/2004 17:14

Would love a 3rd but am 40 so feel it might be too late.
DDs are a lovely unit (nearly 4 and just 2) and I wouldn't want to spoil that but still hanker after another. A lot of people are prgnt and there seem to be a lot of no 3s.

As DD1 and 2 were so different I don't have a clue what no 3 would be like anyway.

Sigh........

golds · 25/11/2004 17:18

I am seriously considering No.3, I keep changing my mind, I have a dd who is 7 on Sat and a ds who is 4, just got my freedom back, you would think that was enough, but I still want another, I think I will just be careless for a while and see what happens, I hate making decisions

dinosaur · 25/11/2004 17:26

Oh go for it jigger. I had my DS3 in August and I'm very very very happy

Idontknowwhattodo · 25/11/2004 17:31

I would love three children but the idea of being pg/THE BIRTH really really puts me off. And I have a job I love and don't think I could afford to go back if I had three. But I LOVE the idea of three children soooooooooooo much..........help

Twiglett · 25/11/2004 17:35

I want 3 .. DH only wants 2 .. I think I'll just go down and unfreeze some of his sperm .. he never needs to know

Twiglett · 25/11/2004 17:35

I want 3 .. DH only wants 2 .. I think I'll just go down and unfreeze some of his sperm .. he never needs to know

Idontknowwhattodo · 25/11/2004 17:36

it really gives me panic attacks actually so maybe I'll stop at two

spacemonkey · 25/11/2004 17:37

I'd like another one too

athomemum · 25/11/2004 17:37

i have 3 girls, 7, 5 & 3. I like having 3 - they all play together, or 2 play while 1 goes & does something else - means that they have options about who to spend time with & so I think get on better. I think the smaller the gap the better in the long run, although its harder in the first 6 mnths. A bigger gap means as they get older its harder to please everyone with trips out - films, legoland etc, whereas 4 years between oldest & youngest seems managable.

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