Please encourage me that this will get easier and remind me why we decided to have a 3rd!!!!

[charliemama]

Some of you may recognise me from my constant moaning about DS2. But I am feeling really sorry for myself at the moment. He is such hard work. He is a terrible sleeper. Hardly eats in the day but makes up for it at night . He's very demanding during the day and wants to be held/entertained a lot.

I am exhausted and in my darkest moments wonder why we even had him at all. DS1 and DD sleep really well and are able to be quite independednt so my life would be getting easy now if I only had them.

I do really love DS2, but I need to know life will get better because I think I am teetering on teh edge of insanity!!!

Massive apologies for anyone who is TTC I know I should be counting my blessings, actually I am ashamed to writing this at all.

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Aw sympathies

I only have two but they were both VERY demanding babies - it was literally 24 hour parenting - the feeling of going to bed and knowing that it was just the 'night shift' and not a time of REST was just grim. But YES IT DOES GET BETTER - although not in any hurry. Mine started sleeping much better around 18 months and from about 12 months would only feed once or twice in the night.

However in the DAY they were MUCH happier once they could sit up and entertain themselves a bit more, at around 9 months. It really was the light at the end of the tunnel being able to PUT THE **ERS DOWN! At around 9 months they would start playing independently a little with small toys and saucepans etc.

They loved door bouncers too. I think that perhaps some babies who are demanding just need a lot more social interaction than others. So mine were happier in more social situations where they could see what was going on.

On the plus side, they were/are charming and lovely toddlers.

Good luck.

The thing is DD had horrible colic for the first 3/4 months but after that settled into a routine and slept through the night by 6 months. At the moment the last time I can remember being really happy was when DS2 was born. But now I am so tired all the time. I feel crap that DS2 isn't in a routine. The house is a tip. I put ceebeebies on rather than play with DD becuase I am so tired and miserable, or I'm having to carry DS2. I thought the first 6 months would be hard, but this isn't getting better. In fact Ds2 decided to be wide a wake at 5 so I have broken nights and an early riser. (Previously he slept longer if I bring him in with me)

Thankyou MP I x-posted. That is the sort of thing I need to hear. My HV agrees that DS2 is a very alert and social baby. He doesn't want to watch the world he wants to participate. So I am hoping that he will be happier when he can do more himself.

No it's the first YEAR that is shit, not just six months

You need to remember that you have not had three for NOW but you have had three for LIFE - really, days with a stressed mummy when you are 3 or 4 is absolutely nothing in the long-term scheme of having another wonderful sibling to love you and support you through life. Don't feel guilty about the NOW, just get through it and try not to throw things. YOU ARE DOING REALLY WELL!

Mine also loved baby walkers - not so they could charge around (neither of them worked out how to actually move the things) but just so they were upright and interacting more. I'd put a few toys on the tray and shove them in the room where there were other people if possible (easy with no. 2!) and that would distract for a bit, on a good day.

I found going from two to Three was so much easier than one to two.

By the time you have three you have got used to not 'popping' anywhere.

Yes but it sounds like Charliemama has her first Truly Awful Baby. It must be horrific if you've had two Reasonable Babies.

In some ways I'm glad mine were both Horrific Babies because I'll never have to have that shock again... my base assumption is that for the first 12 months I will be in a sort of 24-hour living hell...

Sorry didn't rtead your post - didn't realsie you had him already.....

it is knackering
after the first year it gets easier
just try and do aslittle as possible.

The times when Imanaged to get at least two of the to sleep at the same time were rare but perfect!

Thanks again MP. I am now sitting here ín tears (God I hate self pity). But you're right. My mum keeps saying 'you're wishing his life away' which is not helpful at all. I know what you mean anout 24 hour parenting. It is so unrelenting at the moment. I'm wrong to say it hasn't got better. He laughs when you play with him. He just cries when he's left which is really frustrating. It would help if all the people I know in rl didn't have such blinking perfect babies who sleep through and lie gurgling wherever they're put!!!

" so my life would be getting easy now if I only had them"

I can relate. I really can. Our #3 wasn't intentional and although he is delightful and much loved he really turned our lives upside down. We thought we were out of the woods in a way. DD due to go to school that year, both of them sleeping through, I was back at work full-time and coping fine so money wasn't a problem. How things have changed.

But we were lucky in that he wasn't clingy as such, and quite self-sufficient even as a baby. Probably harder now at 4 actually.

MP - yes mine was number 2!!!

I remember thinking that I had sussed it with ds1, I let himlead. So with ds2 I thought I would do the same - but rather than letting him lead I did the same as with ds1. and ds2 was not hainvg it. He wanted to lead, he wanted to be close to me daya nd night and If I had not fought it I know it woujld have been easier.

How old is your ds?

can you get a popose and just attach him to you?

how old is he, CM? Is he crawling yet? my dd3 was really hard work until she crawled, then (except for molars coming) she was much happier

Yes those babies are so irritating. I remember once attending a baby massage class where the instructor said "You need to massage your baby when they are alert and calm" and I realise that I had never had a moment where my baby was alert and calm. She was either awake and hysterical or asleep.

For me once the first year was over things were fine - it was an upward improvement from when they started sitting - definitely around 9 months. By 12 months I could weep with joy that the awful part was behind me. Don't feel bad about wishing it away - it is horrid. Enjoy the (rare) quiet moments, even if they are at 4 a.m., think about them good and hard and record them in your memory - but otherwise just keep trudging through each day - you will be out the other side EVENTUALLY. Babies like this are bloody hard work.

rarely do little babies gurgle for very long

bouncers are good
walks are good
going to peoples houses are good.
just getting in the var can sometimes be good.

I drove once with all 3 of mine and I was pregnant with number 4.

They all fell asleep - so I stopped the car and went to sleep to - it was heaven

Hey I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with wishing the first year away! It isn't the same as wishing his life away, it is just longing to get past the high-maintenance, constant-attention, feeling-permanently-shit stage! Actually I pretty much wished the first 18 months of all of my children's lives away, and with good reason I think. Just remember that every month you get through is a month closer to sanity etc and suddenly he will be 2 and pretty much civilised and everything will be much more enjoyable.

And try not to listen to what your mum says - it is OK for her, swanning in and admiring the little bundle for an hour or two and then bogging off to have a good 8 hour sleep, paint her toenails and poo in peace

But I didn't oreder a Truly Awful Baby. Is there someone I can complain to? I wanted a soap opera baby. You know the sort, rarely seen because they're asleep or lying contently somewhere.

Yes it's annoying. Everyone said "Oooh your first was so hard, your second will be an Easy Baby!"

Interrupted by my neighbour so xposted lots of you. Thankyou for the encouragement and support. And for making me feel not quite so bad at finding this so hard.

The car idea would be good if he liked being in the car. But he cries everytime the car stops moving. DS1 and DD think he doesn't like red lights!!

DS1 is 4.5, DD is 3 and DS2 is 6.5 months

Can I say I hate the first year, the constant BFing, the no sleep, the weaning, then the starting to crawl and walk, if someone could give me a 1yo I would be happy.

I'm pregnant with number 3 and scared, but my reckoning is I got angel baby first time, truly awful baby second time so I'm due at least a reasonable one this time, lightening doesn't strike twice does it????

tee hee my second one HATES HATES HATES the car and has done since birth - even if it is IS moving. She just finds it too boring for her. It's so awful. I couldn't even put her in the car and drive when she was screaming! It would just make it all worse!

Oh you have my sympathy!

I used ot put the music on really really loud int he car when he screamed

DD2 hated the car as well.
Well she was OK if she had a dummy in, but of course she'd drop it and then scream blue murder while I drove along with one arm behind me trying to find the bastard dummy in the passenger footwell.

I'd say they start becoming OK-ish at 18 months, really.
Then 2 is a turning point and 3 becomes positively fun

friends are convinced I will eventually have a 4th.

I will never forget how hard this has been I will be employing the use of three contraceptive devices at all times until the day I die!!!!

Congrats. Sweetkitty and goodluck.