Mother says I’m making my 12 Week Old Obese???

[Fattyandconfused]

DS was prem. currently 12 weeks, corrected age is 5weeks.

he has recently been moved to high calorie milk due to poor weight gain. (He has CMPA)

he has since got quite bad reflux symptoms, sleeping has got a lot worse & seems generally more uncomfortable.

Consultant asked how much we were feeding him (current weight 4.56kg). And I said it averaged between 27-30 ounces a day.

Consultant said this is far too much and DS should have no more than 24oz in one day. He should be having between 3-4.5oz per bottle 6x a day.

HV says babies cannot be over fed, including formula fed babies. So to continue doing what we’re doing.

I spoke to my mum about this, who went on a wild rant at me about how I’m setting my son up for obesity later in life & that I’m not showing very
good nurturing mother skills.

DS would accept a bottle at any time of day, don’t think he’s ever rejected a bottle.

I am conflicted whether to only give him 4oz every 6 hours and see what happens with regards to sleep/reflux/being uncomfortable. But I’m so so so scared he’ll loose weight

conflicted what to do? Any advice to anyone who’s potentially over fed their child?

Your mother is talking out her arse!

It's difficult to know what to do when two different professionals have given you conflicting advice though.

if he is still considered underweight, then surely at this stage you need to get the calories in to get his weight up. Is he drinking the same amount than when he was on normal formula?

My only suggestion would be to say either feed higher amount of normal formula or same amount of High calorie formula - otherwise you are increasing calories both ways, if you see what I mean?

I think its highly unlikely you are setting him up for a lifetime of obesity though!

Your HV is wrong. Babies fed directly from the breast can't be overfed, babies fed from bottles can easily be overfed. Also, seeing as your baby was premature and has CMPA, I'd be ignoring everything your HV has to say as she likely knows absolutely nothing about either of those things. HVs frequently don't know their arses from their elbows.

Your mother is also wrong, and you'd be within your rights to tell her to get fucked, what an incredibly unhelpful, unkind thing to say.

Listen to the consultant. And be kind to yourself. You've got this, your baby is thriving.

My understanding is you can’t over feed a baby, they just won’t do it. That’s what multiple HV and the GP told me anyway. Certainly with my DTs who were ever so slightly prem drank more than the tin recommended, but would happily leave half a bottle if they didn’t want it.

At 2 months my DS was having 6oz a bottle, 6 times a day, DD was having 4.5-6oz a bottle also 6 times a day. They were born at 36+5 if that helps!

Sorry, at around 3 months they were having between 7-8oz each, 5 times a day.

Your health visitor is wrong. Bottlefed babies can easily be overfed because the suckle reflex is so strong.

Only breastfed babies fed directly from the breast cannot be overfed because that is a natural process and they know exactly how much they need.

This leads to parents thinking they are simply hungry babies and giving them more and more, stretching their stomachs and entering into a trap.

Health visitors have little to no infant feeding training. You should listen to your consultant. You are giving him too much and you should ensure all bottles are pacefed.

Reflux babies drink a lot of milk to help soothe the reflux symptoms. Is he being treated for reflux?

Mine had reflux (long time ago now) he drank vast amounts of milk, but spat back half what he drank. He was a really hungry baby and never went any longer than 2.5 hours between feeds. He was a big baby and we ended up weaning early.

What eventually helped was gaviscon in his milk, keeping him upright whilst feeding and then for at least half an hour afterwards. Raising the head of his bed slightly. He also needed every last bit of wind out of him or he screamed for hours. Last thing that really helped was a dummy.

Is your baby now gaining weight and otherwise healthy? You might need to feed him smaller amounts, slower, more often. But in my experience if they are hungry, they are hungry and you can't let them scream for hours on end.

My DS is now a fit and healthy 18 year old, but I clearly remember those early days constantly covered in sick, with a screaming reflux baby. It's not easy.

Don't they usually bring it back up if they've had too much ( a long time since mine were that age!!)

Listen to the consultant who is evidently the senior practitioner in this scenario.

Bottle fed babies can be over fed, there are multiple studies that show it does lead to later life Obesity.

bmcpediatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12887-020-1982-9

Such a division of opinions here also!

he is on omeprozole for reflux @Harpydragon

I would never let him scream for hours of course not, however I think I may have been missing signs he’s full:

• I frequently say to my partner, why is he moving his head around so much I’m having to chase him with the bottle.


• sick after feeds

i wonder whether it’s worth giving it a go and not obsessing with how much he’s drunk for a week. Just letting him take the reigns and as soon as he’s not 100% on the bottle stopping the feed etc. not always offering the bottle whenever he cries etc. maybe this will help his reflux and being uncomfortable.

is it common for babies to be overfed!

cannor wait till he’s 6 months and I can wean! I have genuinely hated the bottle feeding stage. Forever wishing I breastfed’

Why would you take the health visitors word over a consultant neonatologist/paediatrician? One has about 12 years more specialist training than the other. And you absolutely can overfeed a formula fed baby.

@Georgeskitchen he is sick!

@Winkydink bevause I have 0 knowledge. If 2 professionals are saying opposing things, it does leave a first time mother with ZERO medical knowledge, somewhat confused.

It is common for bottle fed babies to be over fed, it’s common for this to contribute to reflux, and there’s increasing evidence it does contribute to obesity later in life.
The signs you describe in your last post could be consistent with over feeding. Have you tried paced feeding?
In this scenario I would absolutely take the advice of the consultant rather than the HV, people on mumsnet, or your Mum. He has enough health complications that sensible advice for one baby may not be the case for him, and HV won’t have specialist training.

If he is on the milk for poor weight gain then why would you limit his feeds?
And I don't think you should make him wait 4 hours between feeds either; small babies can't wait that amount of time before needing more milk

I always read a rule of thumb that for formula fed babies they should take 2.5-2.7 oz per lb of weight so 4.56kg = 10lbs roughly so should take 25-27oz per day.

Your lo sounds like they are taking the right amount to me.

Did you make mistake in your OP and mean 4ozs 6 times a day so every 4hrs rather than every six hours? That would seem sensible to try, also a dummy if he has a strong desire to suckle.
Bottle fed babies can overfeed.
I definitely wouldn't leave a baby crying in hunger though.

NHS site says:
By the end of their first week, most will need around 150 to 200ml per kilo of their weight a day until they're 6 months old. This amount will vary from baby to baby.

In your case at 4.56kg that would be 684 - 912mls which is roughly 22.8 - 30.4oz.

Doesn't sound to me that he is being massively overfed

My HV preached responsive feeding meaning don’t prepare the bottle until they start showing hungry cues, my LO was 5 x 6oz bottles at around 3/4 months old and has been perfectly average weight. She actually then changed to 4 x 8oz bottles at around 6 months

How unkind of your mum

I’ve had 3 bottlefed babies and I really don’t think you can overfeed them. Mine have always stopped when they are full. Ds1 was a very hungry baby, always had well over the recommended amount and was a very big and quite noticeably fat baby. As soon as he started walking he slimmed right down. He is 5 now, has a normal healthy appetite and is very slim and active. I really wouldn’t worry and think your mum is talking nonsense.

I would try giving your baby a little less milk as per the consultants advice and see if this seems to make the baby happier or more upset. You can always change back to more milk at any time if he seems too hungry on less milk. He will soon let you know if he’s hungry.

@Twiglets1 yes I think this is what I’m going to do. Be entirely led by him, no “oh he’s only had 3oz this bottle” as he might even if out. As if it is the case that I have over fed him and these symptoms are the cause of it… all our problems could be solved!!! parenting is just a game of guess!!

@dementedpixie the consultant peadatrician said it’s 120-150ml per kg! Even more confused now!

@3WildOnes yes I meant 4oz 6 times a day (so 4 hours apart) he still wakes 4 hourly through the night. So I’m sure when he starts to sleep longer at night he will have larger feeds 3 hourly in the day etc!

Opinion doesn’t come into it. Bottlefed babies can be overfed, research has shown this repeatedly as evidenced above.

You should also know that milk is their main source of nutrition until 1. So weaning isn’t really going to help - for months they probably won’t eat a whole lot and the bottle/breast is still their main food source.

For the love of God, listen to the consultant!

I've had two reflux babies. They need to eat little and often to avoid aggravating their reflux. It is well documented that reflux babies overfed to try and sooth the pain. If you haven't already, give your DC a dummy to comfort suck.

My eldest overfed constantly. Then around 12 weeks (coincided with jabs) we refused his feeds and I was lucky to get 3 ounces into him a time. He was weaned at four months on advice from our consultant.

Early weaning does actually help. Its common for medical professionals to advise early weaning to treat reflux.

Also, To clarify I’m not that arsed about how many OZ he should be taking he can have what he wants providing it’s not causing him any discomfort., it’s more the fact he has symptoms of being over fed.. wanted to give the numbers of how much he’s taking for a reference.

Sorry I should have been clearer - I meant weaning won’t help in terms of bottles.

She said she couldn’t wait to wean because she hates the bottle feeding stage, but milk is still their main source of nutrition until 1 so she’ll still need to be bottle feeding until then.