Mother says I’m making my 12 Week Old Obese???

[Fattyandconfused]

DS was prem. currently 12 weeks, corrected age is 5weeks.

he has recently been moved to high calorie milk due to poor weight gain. (He has CMPA)

he has since got quite bad reflux symptoms, sleeping has got a lot worse & seems generally more uncomfortable.

Consultant asked how much we were feeding him (current weight 4.56kg). And I said it averaged between 27-30 ounces a day.

Consultant said this is far too much and DS should have no more than 24oz in one day. He should be having between 3-4.5oz per bottle 6x a day.

HV says babies cannot be over fed, including formula fed babies. So to continue doing what we’re doing.

I spoke to my mum about this, who went on a wild rant at me about how I’m setting my son up for obesity later in life & that I’m not showing very
good nurturing mother skills.

DS would accept a bottle at any time of day, don’t think he’s ever rejected a bottle.

I am conflicted whether to only give him 4oz every 6 hours and see what happens with regards to sleep/reflux/being uncomfortable. But I’m so so so scared he’ll loose weight

conflicted what to do? Any advice to anyone who’s potentially over fed their child?

www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/bottle-feeding/formula-milk-questions/

The nhs page that states 150-200mls. If he has slow weight gain how is he being overfed??

@dementedpixie he had slow weight gain on a previous CMPA milk. On a normal cows milk formula he was gaining weight just fine.
So they wanted a higher CMPA friendly milk.

as I’ve stated multiple times… he has signs of being over fed (vomiting, disturbed sleep etc) and a consultant said this to me,

is this clear enough for you?

Have a look at pace feeding. There are some good videos on YouTube. Gives the baby a chance to control the flow of milk.

I’m going through a similar experience to you in that my baby has terrible reflux (on omeprazole) and CMPA and at first we were definitely over feeding him because he wanted the milk to soothe his throat.
I would also say 24 oz seems more appropriate for 12 weeks old but 27-30 isn’t absolutely silly amounts.
Once we got the reflux under control and were put on Puramino formula for the allergy I started obsessing he wasn’t drinking enough per feed as he dropped to 23rd centile and I kept reading about babies who would drink twice as much at his age.
A couple of things the Infant Feeding team at Alder Hey told us is that amino acid formulas (if you’re ever put on one) make babies put on weight at a slower rate than standard formula and more at the rate of breastfed babies as the amino acid formula tells them they’re fuller faster.
Don’t look at the amount per feed, look at it over 24 hours. I would get worried every time he drank only 2 or 3 oz instead of 4 or 5 when overall he was on 26-28 oz and the feeding team said, it’s like any person, sometimes you need a big drink and others just a little refresher so don’t look at it per feed.
My little boy has never drank big amounts, even now at 16 weeks he does between 3-5 oz but every time he is weighed he’s put on weight and that’s what I’ve tried to focus on rather than he’s not drinking “enough” or “too much” or he’s not 50th centile. He never seemed to take the recommended 150-200 ml per Kg and yet is such a happy little boy, constantly wriggling about and you would never guess is below average weight.
I do still absolutely dread feeding times and think he’s not drinking enough but if he’s putting on weight and is happy most of the time then that’s what matters.

This. It's shocking how little some HVs know.

I'd do some research yourself so you feel better informed as well.

Does your mum have history of being so bloody hurtful? I'd distance myself if she's often this unhelpful.

Health visitors have almost no training and no specialist knowledge. Do what the consultant says.

My DD is being treated with Omeprazole and Gaviscon for silent reflux and is also on prescription formula for CMPA.

Before being diagnosed with reflux and CMPA she wasnt thriving, struggled to gain the weight she lost immediately after birth and wasnt settled.
She would be taking a 5oz bottle every 2-3 hours and consequently vomiting. This was at 2 weeks old. I was also breast feeding but didnt have anywhere near enough milk to sustain her needs.

HV told me is was over feeding and making her sick. She gave me a feeding plan which I stuck to and ended up with a very unhappy baby who was gaining only 20grams a week.

On advice from a senior midwife and paediatrician, we upped her feeds again and literally fed on demand. But for each OZ she took, we would stop, wind her, keep her upright for 5 mins and go again.
We found that the slower she took the feed the less she actually took in total but was more satisfied.
She was guzzling milk because it numbed the pain of the acid reflux, but would over fill her stomach and make her projectile vomit.

Omeprazle really helped with that (but it can take up to 6 weeks to work properly).

Best tip is to feed in a more upright position.
Wind regularly in various positions.
Keep upright for 30mins at the end of a feed (pain in the bum for night feeds but helps).
Ignore your HV. Babies with reflux can be over fed because taking extra milk soothes the oseophagus to make them feel better. Hence theyre then sick as they overfill themselves.

My view too.

Hi Op, I totally understand your worries about your baby's weight, we had a premmie as well.

We have followed the hospital's advice on responsive feeding, our baby still likes small portions but often at 6 months.

We have also followed pace feeding, so DD controlled the speed and the amount she is having.

Just follow your baby's cues and only listen to your consultant.

Not wanting to add any more confusion, but it was our consultant who told me DS was being overfed. DS was also CMPA and had terrible reflux,
Two weeks later, after following the consultants advice, DS had failed to gain so much weight he was failing to thrive, and it was discussed that he may need to be tube fed. In the end it was the HV and GP who worked to get him to a place where he was gaining weight appropriately.

DM formula-fed me snd was obsessed with ensuring that I drank plenty. She kept notes; we still have them. I became fat with enormous thighs. The health visitor told her that she was overfeeding me. She carried on.
I have struggled with my weight my entire life and have huge thighs which are wider than my hips.
Please listen to the consultant.

I'd ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Premature Birth section @Fattyandconfused

What's normal for a full tee baby, which I think may be your DM's experience, might not be for a baby born early.