Please help me with my newborn

[DaimDillyDoo]

Posting out of sheer desperation!

My little girl is 3 weeks old on Monday, she was born at 41 weeks, I had a vaginal birth but she did pick up an infection at birth which caused her breathing difficulties on her first night.

She cries none stop all day, she's so unsettled and will fall asleep for 10 minutes then I put her down and she's awake and screaming again. She gets hiccups a lot, she'll be hungry then refuse the bottle. She seems to constantly be irritated/in pain. She loves the car and the bath but I can't constantly drive with her or bathe her... she only likes to be upright on your shoulder and it's the only way there's a few minutes of relief from crying. It was 6 hours solid crying yesterday.

I've tried colief and shes formula fed on cow and gate, I burp her correctly and use MAM bottles which she gets on with.

I'm at a total loss, I'm exhausted and I just feel like this is the worst thing I've ever done and now I can't go back.

If she prefers being upright over your shoulder could you get a sling and keep her in that during the day?

Could it be a cows milk protein allergy?

Sorry to hear you are struggling OP, I found the newborn stage really exhausting too!

I haven’t got personal experience of this but if she prefers being held and upright, could that point to reflux?

Have you spoken to the health visitor? Are you pacing the speed of the flow of the milk and feeding upright? I'm really sorry. It sounds really tough.

I’m thinking milk allergy. Have you spoken to the HV ?

We've paced her feeding and wind her in between feeds, although she's not great at bringing up wind.

She's been sick twice today after 1.5 oz so she's probably hungry too 😭

Her nappies aren't funny coloured or offensive smelling and she has no rash, how would I know if she has CMPA? Is there anyway I can pay for allergy testing privately to get it looked into quicker?

I'm going to try some baby gaviscon if they'll sell it without prescription as I couldn't get through to the doctor or HV today.

I actually think I'm at breaking point :(

Is there anyone that can give you a break ? Baby’s dad or your mum ?
They pick up on your anxiety so it might be worth getting someone else to feed her while you’re out the room.

You wouldn’t necessarily notice bad poos or a rash at this stage, definitely see the doctor and ask about allergies. It’s not normal for babies to cry and be unsettled all the time whatever they tell you. CMPA is also increasingly common.

These are absolute magic workers https://www.boots.com/windi-gas-and-colic-reliever-for-babies-10-count-by-fridababy-10292824

My friend sent me some from the States before they stocked them here and I was really sceptical, but my GOD they work. I evangelise about them now. And no I am not working for them.

Our youngest would cry a lot but wouldn't meet the bar of colic. We really believed in infacol.

I’m just the other side of colic… babies started getting better about 8 weeks, noticeably happier at 11. Hang in there OP! Do whatever you need to do to survive this stage.

Could it be reflux?

The fact she’s happy on your shoulder make me think of reflux too (silent reflux if not being sick). Can you get an appointment with your doctor and ask for some gaviscon sachets for her bottle?

I’m sorry, it sounds exhausting. She shouldn’t be crying this much though so I’d try gaviscon and then look at a CMPA (or both at the same time if I was desperate !)

Baby gaviscon life saver my baby did same gulping down stuff and getting bad acid reflux and wind. She was in agony and never stopped crying. Take baby to a and e to get checked over. Skip all the milk changes as I went through 8- you need the one without the protein or soya milk…. As for winding Dangle her in your knee and jiggle up and down this helps with burping but not too vigourous obviously!!

I hate to say it but it sounds within the bounds of normal newborn behaviour. I mean obviously some people get lucky and get a settled newborn but lots of people get unsettled ones. Mine were very unsettled. I couldn't put my eldest down at all until he was about 4 months old. He basically lived in a sling and I co-slept with him.

It's hard - very hard. My theory is that they were very sensitive to stimulation. They are both still like it now. My second was also unsettled but I knew how to cope with it then and did whatever is necessary to get through the day.

Sounds like silent reflux to me especially with the hiccups. Things that worked for us. Anti reflux formula, Dentinox drops in bottle helped with wind. Tiny amounts of water when he had hiccups. Tilted cot. I know I will be slammed for this but sleeping on his front was the only way he would comfortably sleep, I know this is not recommended so I'm not saying you should just what helped us. He was in the room with me no covers etc. but to be honest the amount he was sick I did feel it was safer x

ds is an adult now, but swaddling at that age helped a lot, still had to hold him to sleep but he could be put down much easier. Do they still do/allow that nowadays?

I've got some gaviscon and infacol but I've just read that the gaviscon can make it worse for silent reflux?

There's so much conflicting advice I don't know whether I'm doing right from wrong :(

I would try one thing at a time as then you will know what's working.There is a reflux baby group on Facebook which is really useful. Infacol can make reflux worse as it's citrus. X

Could it be a tongue tie? My daughter was miserable until it was snipped, it turns out not being able to move your tongue makes feeding VERY hard work for their little mouths, they get very tense as they compensate and use their whole face/neck to feed instead of just their mouth., and can mean they take on l extra air too which adds to then general grumpy ness.

Definitely check for tongue tie, pace feed and wind - you may find it’s her digestive system is adjusting. If no good milk allergy- ring GP as they may be able to help.

Oh OP, I remember our DS in the colic stages and it is heartbreaking. I really do feel for you, but stay strong and remember you are doing a great job just by being their as a comfort to baby, it may not feel that way as they keep crying but you are doing brilliant just by being close to them.

I would agree with others, ensure you are trying one thing at a time and giving it time to take effect before moving on or it will be a waste of time.

We used DR brown bottles, we tried infacol then dentinox and to be honest one worked for a bit, then the other worked for a bit and before we knew it (although it didn't feel like that) he had out grown it.

Speak to the doctors for the gaviscon sachets as well if nothing has worked.

Our baby used to cry for hours every evening and it was put down to ‘colic’ we changed her formula from aptamil to Kendamil and it really seemed to help. Infacol didn’t seem to work but dentinox appeared to help. Gripe water as well.
Or it could be an allergy so I would speak to your GP/HV

keep your head up, the newborn stage is SO hard but you WILL get through it x

I'd check for silent reflux, cows milk allergy and tongue tie (properly with a lactation consultant or infant feeding team). Also second swaddling (we found gro bags the easiest) and the windi mentioned above (so helpful on occasion the DS had bad gas).

Oh dear I'm so sorry you're going through this. To be an echo chamber as above, infant gaviscon worked wonders for us as did the fridababy windi sticks. Word to the wise, don't give them infacol and gaviscon at the same time - it really upset my DS.