Up playing with my 5 year old at 5am or it’s the tv

[IWannaGoToTheSpa]

Not looking for tips on sleeping longer in the morning unless someone has something completely novel as we have tried everything! My (almost) 5 year old is my eldest child and having had all the attention for so long typically wants a fair bit of attention now and constantly wants to play with us. She can sit and watch telly on her own but if doing any kind of activity wants us with her and even the second you leave the room calls you for something, usually just to talk to you. Come to accept it and we try to work on a bit of independent play when it seems appropriate (of course we play with her a lot too).

I have a 1.5 year old too who has us up in the night a fair bit at times so my 5 year old getting up at 5 am and wanting to play is a killer. Does anyone else play at 5 am??? I’m just so grumpy and don’t/can’t engage in play at that time. But then what happened is she ends up watching telly for an hour, hour and a half then we have to start getting ready for the day - getting out to school and child minder and work and feel bad she’s just watched telly.

Any help to change this? Anyone else have the same? X

P.S. don’t know if this is relevant but she always has to be touching us, holding on to and pulling close to her our arm, it’s very irritating as you can’t move and if you try to move slightly she pulls you back. I hate to say it but it’s very annoying!!! And I tell myself to enjoy it while she’s young and soon she’ll be a teen hating me but I feel so touched out.

Honestly at that age I let my DC watch TV, listen to an audiobook in bed or play on their kindle fire. I lay in bed recovering from being up overnight with younger ones (see my username!)

Just deduct it from other screen time during the day - I'm assuming they have days filled with playing, activities, nursery etc and they're not in front of a screen for the rest of the day?

There's a lot of handwringing about screens - I often do it myself as my kids love their screens and in my head I had some sort of Little House on the Prairie expectations for their childhood. But they are lovely kind and gentle kids, excelling at school, and have a well-rounded life. That won't be affected by an hour chilling in front of the TV in the morning.

Maybe if you say you're not getting up with her but she is to go herself she'll grow tired of that and will stay in bed a bit later? If you'd really rather she stayed in bed I'd get her an audio player and get her to put a story on at 5 and stay in bed.

Also I'd just make it clear you're not playing. Just tell her 'its too early, mummy's not getting up to play. Back to bed, or watch TV yourself. Mummy will get up when the little hand is at 6 and not before'

And repeat, repeat, repeat

Ds was the same but at 3 we said he could read books in bed until 6.30 earliest. If we'd let him watch the telly he'd have been jumping out of bed the second he opened his eyes with no chance of going back to sleep. As it was he often nodded off again.

At 5 she is old enough to know that she doesn't get out of bed until morning. 5am is still night time. Get her one of those clocks that tells them it's morning. Keep returning her to her bed until morning. Try a sticker chart.

This. There is no way I would have been up playing with any of mine at 5am even after a good night's sleep!
Make sure she has books and quiet toys in her room and a clock to let her know when it's acceptable to get up.

Omg you could be me 12 years ago. This age gap is worst at this stage. The good news is that all the jealousy and resentment that your eldest is feeling is being worked through now (hence the clingingness). Fast forward 5 or so years and you will have less of the squabbling that you see in families with smaller gaps. The only thing to deal with it now I can suggest (cos it's really draining) is to be really clear about when you are available and commit to it and do things like ask her to play with you. That way you don't get trapped into a cycle of pulling away all the time so she gets more clingy

I'd get her a gro clock set it to 7 and tell her she is free to play quietly or watch TV before then but not to wake you up. I don't worry about screen time in the morning, no way am I playing at 5am.

Don’t play at that time, it only encourages them getting up early.
Be very boring.

Nope I wouldn't be playing at 5am! We have gro clocks - they aren't allowed to leave their rooms before 7am (apart from toilet) so just either fall back asleep or play quietly. We did start this from around 2 though so not sure what kind of kickback you'd get at 4/5.

Is she also being woken by the early summer morning? Do you have blackout curtains in her room?

You have my utmost sympathy. Getting kids to bed is also extra hard when it stays so light outside. There are good suggestions here, but mine also had to stay in their rooms with toys

Haha saw you didn’t want tips about getting her to sleep beyond 5 am - sorry!

I would not be playing at that time no chance , do not feel guilty about her watching tv , you must be shattered .

No chance I would play at that time, it's the middle of the night for me. Even at 6 or 7 the only game I would play is doctors, here I am the patient and can't move or speak.

not a chance. My ds went through a phase of getting up too early in the summer even with a blackout blind when he was 3. I got him a gro clock which was great. He understood that he wasn’t to get out of his room (unless for a wee) until the moon changed to the sun. He could play quietly in his room but not wake me up or watch telly. I would really recommend a gro clock, it worked well for us.

My DD was an early riser (well still is but not 5am anymore). No wah would I play at 5am! Kid can stay in room, play lego or read a book, colour etx
maybe no tv until 6am? Otherwise soon you will have the issue that they get up for tv. Been there!

My DD has SEN and she was an early waker but like pp’s have said, we got a gro clock and were just very firm. You really do have to stick to your guns. Your DD is old enough now to understand that mummy needs her sleep; it’s just about putting boundaries in place. The other thing is making sure they get enough of your attention during the day including one to one time and not rushing bedtime so they don’t feel they need your attention early in the morning. That’s my experience anyway.

Good god no. At that age with mine I would leave her tablet, a drink and a snack by her bed with strict instructions not to wake mummy until 7. She was old enough to understand that people need sleep and it isn't kind to wake them. Now at 8yo she gets up and makes herself breakfast/puts the tv on if she's ever up first. Sadly for me I now also have a baby who is in the 5am club, so lie ins have gone back to being a thing of the past!

What time does she go to sleep? We had to put DS to bed later than most of his peers as otherwise he was up at 5am. So when his friends were in bed by 7 he was up till 8.

Worked for us. But I didn’t have a younger one to deal with too!

If you want her to sleep longer, no playing, no tv. She stays in her bed and looks at books.

She's old enough to learn.

Should probably say - she also had a gro clock until she could tell the time. Can't bloody wait til the baby is old enough for it!

I have a friend whose DD was and is a very early riser (but on the bright side goes to sleep early-ish and sleeps soundly). My friend just allows quiet screen time in the morning but very little at other times.

At 5 (unless SEN) children are old enough to know that it's not morning time. My dc tried to chance their arm a few times at that age and they were sent back to their room and told to stay there until 'mr sunshine' comes up. They were allowed to play quietly in their room. I would go back to bed and leave bedroom doors open.

Gosh, some modern parents seem hugely indulgent of their children’s unreasonable demands!
Thirty years ago, my two were told that if they woke up early they should read quietly and not disturb me until I was up. As a tired single parent and hospital doctor, I needed every hour of sleep I could get.
I was their mother, not their playmate. I gave them lots of attention at weekends and in the evenings, but sleep was sacrosanct. It’s time to take control and command respect as the adult in your family, OP!

Not a chance I’d be playing at that time. DS’ rules at that age were Gro Clock and had to wait until 7. There was a time (I think 6 - 6.30ish) that he was allowed to get up and play quietly in his room from. If I’d let him watch TV or play with me when he woke up then it would have got earlier and earlier!

Think we started the rule at about 3.5ish. For quite a while he got a sticker every time he waited until the sun and when he had 7 stickers he could choose a magazine. I think your DD is definitely old enough - good luck!

Assuming you've tried a grow clock and it didn't work, I'd be all for TV at that hour. If she genuinely didn't need the sleep, you need to protect your own mental health and sanity, that's more important than vague ideas about screen time appropriateness. It's not going to do her any harm.