Up playing with my 5 year old at 5am or it’s the tv

[IWannaGoToTheSpa]

Not looking for tips on sleeping longer in the morning unless someone has something completely novel as we have tried everything! My (almost) 5 year old is my eldest child and having had all the attention for so long typically wants a fair bit of attention now and constantly wants to play with us. She can sit and watch telly on her own but if doing any kind of activity wants us with her and even the second you leave the room calls you for something, usually just to talk to you. Come to accept it and we try to work on a bit of independent play when it seems appropriate (of course we play with her a lot too).

I have a 1.5 year old too who has us up in the night a fair bit at times so my 5 year old getting up at 5 am and wanting to play is a killer. Does anyone else play at 5 am??? I’m just so grumpy and don’t/can’t engage in play at that time. But then what happened is she ends up watching telly for an hour, hour and a half then we have to start getting ready for the day - getting out to school and child minder and work and feel bad she’s just watched telly.

Any help to change this? Anyone else have the same? X

P.S. don’t know if this is relevant but she always has to be touching us, holding on to and pulling close to her our arm, it’s very irritating as you can’t move and if you try to move slightly she pulls you back. I hate to say it but it’s very annoying!!! And I tell myself to enjoy it while she’s young and soon she’ll be a teen hating me but I feel so touched out.

We got a sunshine alarmclock (ie a grownup groclock!).
The light was set to come on from 6. They had to stay in bed, quietly, til then.
After the light was on, they could read in bed, but anyone who wanted to sleep had to be allowed to. They could come wake us at 6.30.
Absolutely no early screens (found DS watching TV at 4am one day). Absolutely minimal parental input before 6.30.
Oldest was reading today when I got up at 6.20. He's 13. Years.

God no, I don't play before 7am! Before that it's the TV or toys that require zero input from me while I stay in bed.

Toughen up ... it's far too early to be 'playing' (I rarely played with my DS at all ... let alone at 5am in the morning). You are the parent, not play mate. Books or quiet toys early and not allowed to get up until the specified time. Too many DC allowed to rule the roost.

We set up a little desk in our room with pencils, colours, paper when DD2 went through a similar phase. Rule was she could be in our room if she coloured quietly until it was “proper” morning time. She could also play with her toys in the landing (we have Lego, Sylvanians etc stored there) Worked for a bit and then she started sleeping a bit longer as she clearly realised it was a bit too boring in with us.

No chance. DS has a gro clock. He can look at books or play very quietly until the sun comes up on the clock. He's only allowed to come to get me if he can hear me up and about or if there's an emergency. 5am is nighttime. On the rare occasion I've had to get up with him at the crack of dawn I stick him Infront of cbeebies and I lie on the sofa with my eyes closed until it's an acceptable time.

Thanks all for your comments - same theme running through all of them! Groclock or the like til 6.30/7 when quiet play is allowed until waking us up! Thank you for the comments of solidarity too, at least nice to know I’m not alone. I have tried the Groclock in the past but she just cries and says she doesn’t want to be all alone, it’s a bit heartbreaking. Plus then I don’t like the fact (if she did comply with it) that I wouldn’t necessarily know how long she’s been up, is it a 5am day or a 6am day - gives me an idea of how much of a meltdown day it will
be and how much leaway I need to give due to tiredness. Having said all that, maybe now she’s approaching 5 I could give it another go. I guess it might give us longer sleep, even if it doesn’t her, which would be ideal really.

thanks all, much appreciated.

Your DD sounds like my DS - a bit clingy, desperate for your attention type! It's exhausting, isn't it .

Generally DS wakes up around 6:30 - 7am which is fine for me, as I have stuff I need to do before we get ready for school (leave at 8:15) and I work full time. So to be honest, if for whatever reason he woke early, and indeed when I'm sorting stuff out for school/work, DS just has TV or can play in the conservatory with toys/colour/read books etc. If it's any time before 6am, baring illness, he's made to go back to bed and continue sleeping, or lay quietly.

I think you need to toughen up a bit. She's waking up because she's rewarded for it. You need to put boundaries in place - she's nearly 5.

I'd also recommend black out curtains if you haven't got them already.

Op, having read your update I think you do have to toughen up to the tears. Plus, if you’re absolutely firm that you are not getting up and playing at that time then maybe (wishful thinking) she might go back to sleep and have less meltdowns in the day?! She’s a child and she’s still learning but it’s your job to teach her what an appropriate get up time in your household is and not give in for an easy life or because she cries. Good luck 🤞🏻

Yes, the idea with the clock is that they get bored and go back to sleep. Can she read? Maybe let her read to herself quietly. She can't be that sad that she's all alone, presumably she's alone at other times too like when she's falling asleep maybe?

My DD always wanted to cosleep and was always touching me even if it was foot on leg etc. I bought her one of those large pregnancy pillows, a big U one from Amazon, complete game changer and she stayed in bed.

Obviously don't buy one for a young child / toddler because of SIDS but for an older child it's worth a try.

This. Tough love is needed (or be happy to get up at 5 for the next few years).
Get the Gro Clock out and read the book. Make it clear that getting up before the sun (except for a quick loo visit) is not acceptable. Start by setting the sun for 5:15 as that's close to the time she wakes at the moment. Reward her (?stickers) for staying in her room until the sun comes up. Then get up with her and play.
After a few days, change the gro clock to 5:30 and so on, until it gets to a time you're happy with. Lots of praise for staying in bed and a firm 'it's still nighttime, let's go back to bed' if she gets up. Even if there's only 5/10 minutes to go, she must not be allowed to get up for the day until the sun on the gro clock shows.

Our rule has always been: stay in your room til 7 even if you're awake. You can read or play but you can't disturb anyone else unless there's a problem like you're ill. Has always worked for us and DC are 6 and 11. Enforce it now.