HV is getting on my nerves.

[TheOceanClub]

So today my DS who is 16m had his weight review. The last time he was weighted when he just turned 12m and his weight was 11.8kg, that’s around 26lbs That time she said he’s off the charts but nothing to worry about.
So today he had his review. First of all she weighted him with all the shoes, nappy and toy in his hands and made him stand up. Obviously every step and every movement he made the weight changed. So at the end she had 12.2kg or 26.8lbs.
Well apparently he’s a bit on the heavy side and we have to keep checking what he’s eating and maybe cut something. She didn’t even checked his hight in comparison to weight. Made me feel a bit shit with her remarks.
TBH I don’t know how tall is he, 80ish sometimes cm. For reference he’s wearing 2-3y size bodysuit because the smaller ones are too short around nappy area. And 12-18m trousers but even then they have a room.
Hes already eating like a bird most of the time so obviously I don’t want to and can’t cut anything.
All I can see is normal toddler IMO.

Oh and now he will have to review his weight every 3 months…

HVs are morons OP, I would ignore entirely. Measure him yourself and weigh him completely naked, plot him in the red book to check, but from the look of him he's a perfectly healthy little boy, just tall!

He looks huge for 16 months (tall and broad) not fat. The service is voluntary, just keep an eye as you would have anyway.

Yeah many people have said before he looks more like a 2 year old!
Well I’m 5’9 and dad is 6’2 so he will probably be on bigger side too.

Is your DS healthy? Does he have plenty of energy? Does he get plenty of exercise? Does he eat a mixed diet with plenty of fruit & veg?

Or are you feeding him a staple diet of burgers and candyfloss? 🤔

Honestly HVs can be a bit obsessive about their charts. Don't let her make you feel bad and don't cut his food if he eats like a sparrow as it is.

He may be about to have a growth spurt. Let her check him again in 3 months and if she still raises a concern, take him to see your GP.

My HV did the same with us, told me ds was failing to gain weight, made me feel terrible but no, he's just naturally skinny. It may look like I'm starving him but he can eat his own body weight in pizza. He's 14 now, taller than me, perfectly healthy, still skinny.

You’re going to have a tall strong young man! That’s all! He’s big but he’s not over weight or fat. He’s basically still a baby! Please don’t listen to her, your his mum you know what’s right for him if you think you need to cut something out then do, but he isn’t ‘fat’

people aren’t made to measure on a chart.

He looks absolutely perfect. I would ignore these remarks!

Did you tell her what you've just told us? That you think he's not heavy and that you think she should have taken his height?

You need to communicate if you are not happy with something.

He's a tall solid little boy whom I expect will be very tall and broad in adulthood.

Those charts don't take into consideration muscle mass, ethnicity or genetics. Ignore the HV. Just keep doing what your doing, feeding a healthy diet and letting him gave plenty of exercise. He'll be fine.

Christ!! HVs are NOT morons. What a nasty comment

Don't worry, he looks fine. Obviously will be a big boy, but not fat at all. Keep doing what works for you. Those charts are made for general population. Once he starts school/nursery you'll see all sizes, probably a few boys his size.

Oh and now he will have to review his weight every 3 months…

No you don't unless you are under SS or similar.

They screwed up my DD's weight when she was a few months old so I stopped getting her weighed. I did do the 2 year old etc checks though.

BTW I can see your child's rib which means he's not overweight or obese. He is likely to lose a bit more fat in the next few months and you will see them more clearly.

Oh and he will eat like a bird until around his next growth spurt. Then he will want more food for a few weeks then go back to not eating much.

I beg to differ. I've seen a good dozen and they have all given different advice, bad advice, dangerous advice or no advice at all. Over the course of 3 years and two children I've not had a single useful interaction with any of them, and a number of them have actively caused distress if not harm. All of the other mums locally have had similar experiences.

Oh I’m not worried about him in the slightest. I can see myself he’s quite tall and skinny guy and I know what he’s eating and whatnot.
I think my worry is mostly the fact that what if at his next weighting he will be even heavier and that’s totally not acceptable or something?
I guess I should grow a thicker skin.

And thank you for the assurance!

I think my worry is

The fact that seeing the HV is causing you to be worried when your son has no other health problems indicates to me that you should stop getting him weighed.

I guess I should grow a thicker skin.

Only in saying "No" to what interventions you decide your son doesn't need.

I stopped seeing the health visitors after DD's check at this sort of age.

I was so sick of hearing that she was underweight. She'd actually stuck to her percentile line really well, it's just that it was at the lower end of the charts. Our GP was adamant that there was nothing wrong with DD, as was the dietician at the allergy clinic.

At this age, babies/toddlers are extremely differently built to each other. When I look back at the kids (now 5 years old) from our antenatal class the chubbiest baby is now the leanest child. My DD who was the tiniest is now the second tallest and has filled out a little.

I really think that 16m is too early to tell unless a child was vastly off the charts in one direction or the other.

As long as he is active and is eating a wide variety of foods based around good fats, carbs, fruit & veg, the rest doesn't matter.

I massively take issue with the PP who said that HV are morons. It is absolutely not true. I was supported brilliantly by our health visitor for a MH issue, I was reassured by our health visitor when a community midwife was pushing me to give up BF, we were referred directly to a dietician by our HV, and a different health visitor spotted an issue with DD's eyes and had us referred directly to the eye department at the hospital.

I stopped seeing the HV at 6 months. Took them back for their 2 year check up and that was it.

He looks like a very bonny boy to me.

He's so tall!

My ds had similar comments at his last checks, at 9/10m check he was so chunky he couldn't crawl because his leg rolls got in the way and the hv said I was over feeding him because he was still BFing at night and I had to cut food and stop night feeds... he walked 2 weeks later so he wasn't held back and night weaned himself at 1.

2 year check again weighed and said he was too heavy sigh he was over the top centile for weight and just over 75th for height. I nodded along while the hv rambled about his diet then promptly ignored it all 😁

You have a happy, healthy baby OP, ignore the hv and you can decline the follow ups if you want to.

I would just say that you don’t need the extra weight checks as you have no concerns about it. It’s not compulsory and as long as he is eating ok(normal to be not eating loads at this age) and meeting other milestones I would have no concerns at all.
My eldest dc was very very heavy as a baby/toddler, he was very long too and is now a tall lean 11 year old.

I think he looks perfectly healthy. My ds is 18 months and weighs 26lb. He looks chunkier than your ds, but not as tall.

i wouldn’t worry.
we’ve had no one to check on ds progress since he was 8 weeks old, not heard a peep from the hv team, but he seems to be doing ok based on my bathroom scales.

Why do you need to get him weighed again? He looks very healthy from that photo. I just would not bother tbh. A lot of HV don't think about the size of the parents. My friend had a very dinky girl, as in very tiny. HV's very concerned bla bla bla. But they really forgot to notice that the mum is 5 ft and the dad 5'4" so their kids in inevitably going to be small. She's now 8, very healthy but is the size of a 5 yr old.

He's tall and broad, not fat!

Both my children had enormous thighs but they've just lengthened out - if she's looking at weight only then that's ridiculous

What's your profession out of interest?

He looks so tall. He looks taller than my average height 2 year old (who has much more of a tummy than your little boy).