Small things people have done for you when you’re out in public with a baby

[Tryingandhoping2020]

Twice this week I’ve been touched by small acts of kindness from strangers when out with my 8mo.

A few days ago outside a supermarket a lady came over while I was trying to placate frustrated DD and helped me pack my shopping into my car.

Today, I was grabbing a quick lunch at a fast food place and cleaning DD up after her lunch (purée, not fast food!), an employee came over completely unprompted to hand me some more napkins to clean her up with and asked if there was anything else she could help with.

Both very small things that neither lady probably thought twice about, but meant a lot to a tired FTM. Thought a thread would be nice to share lovely things that people have done in public when they see you struggling!

A lady who came over to look at my baby on my first solo shopping trip with baby in tow. The lady smiled kindly and said “it’s good to get out when you’ve had a baby”. I was recovering from a c section,
I had been in pain walking up to the shops, was feeling a bit lonely and this comment from a stranger was so kind.

At a group meal in a naice waterside pub my new baby was crying so I couldn't eat my meal. A lady who worked there took him and walked him round the garden until she saw our plates being cleared then came back and did it again so I could have pudding. It was so kind I feel tearful thinking of it now.

Lady in the park: How old?
Me: 3 weeks
Her: Is he yours?
Me: Yes…
Her: You don’t look like you could have given birth 3 weeks ago!
Me: 😀

DD was readmitted to hospital at 3 days old. We were in the car park lift at A&E so we could get readmitted. A woman saw tiny DD and asked if we wanted her to take a different lift (covid). We said it was fine but appreciated the gesture.

On leaving hospital for the second time, I took another photo of DH and the car seat for ‘take 2’. A midwife going on to her shift saw and asked if we wanted a photo of all of us. I said no but I wished I’d said yes now.

When DD was 3m we went for our anniversary dinner. A couple walked in and took one look at us with DD and asked to move straight away (she was being good). Another couple came in shortly after and they spent the whole meal cooing over DD. They told us how lovely she was (which I always love hearing) and we’re totally smitten with her. I thanked them for being so lovely and they were genuinely puzzled as to why we were thanking them.

The librarian in our village library. I’ve been a few times when DD wouldn’t settle and she’s always just so lovely and welcoming. She always compliments DD. She’s fine with me loitering (it’s a tiny library) while DD naps and has offered to hold DD a few times when she’s fussing and I’m trying to find books or my library card. When I mentioned that one of the books was DD’s name, she made a note of it and said there were loads of these books and when one comes out of circulation she’ll pass it over to us.

When my baby was ill abroad a lovely chap stood behind me at the pharmacy and translated my conversation to the pharmacist and hers back to me. I needed antibiotics for my baby in a country where English wasn't spoken.

When DD was tiny and we went on one of our first solo trips to the shops together, and on returning to the car I realised I had somehow lost the car park token. I began frantically hunting for it, DD was crying, I was panicked at how I was going to get out of the car park and whether I would have to pay about £50 (which I didn’t have) for the lost token, a really kind lady saw all this going on and while I sobbed while breastfeeding DD on the back seat, she spoke to the car park attendants in their office and ensured they let me out without fining me. I remember thinking how much I would like to be as kind and calm as her.

This is a great thread and has inspired me to be more alert to breastfeeding mums and anyone else struggling

I once got on a very crowded train to York with a baby, toddler, luggage and pushchair. A group of young squaddies (Richmond camp I guess) held the baby, entertained the grizzling toddler while I stowed everything and throttled back their language whilst we sat in our reserved seats in the middle of the group. I'll never forget the shouts of "one wheel on my wagon" while I was trying to fit my Phil &Ted's into the rack by taking the wheels off.

I remember a particularly kind Thames Water guy fishing out his first aid kit to give me a wipe and a plaster when my toddler fell off her scooter and was covered in blood from grazing her knee, whilst I was carrying a heap of groceries.

i almost wept with relief as my dd was freaking out about the blood.

People helping me with the buggy. Someone helping me up when I tripped over the back wheels of the buggy. People letting me go ahead at supermarket checkouts when My baby has been whinging in the pram. A lady at the airport offering a bottle of water when my dd had dropped her drink somewhere between the entrance and security check in and was having a meltdown. Lots of people are very nice when you’re struggling with kids. I try to be the same. I’ve offered baby wipes to parents when their kids have fallen over in the dirt and went to get them a plaster. I’ve also given snack bars to parents with toddlers having a meltdown.

These are so lovely :)

I had someone pick up my dog's poop at a park once (I was walking to do it), and I was carrying my newborn in a sling. It was just really nice of them to see that it wouldn't be easy for me to bend, and then to offer to do it.

Also had my toddler have a complete meltdown in a supermarket a while back, she is very independent and opinionated. The checkout lady turned around to me and said "one day that personality will make her a She-E-O of a major company". I think of that now every time that my daughter is being strong willed, and that it is a positive thing.

Ooh another one- in Harpenden it says you get 1 hour free parking, obviously it takes a while to get four children all ready including buggy, I spotted the attendant and asked him "is it 1 hour from taking the keys out or 1 hour from walking away from the car?" he said "how long do you need?" in a nice way so I said I'll be about an hour and a half realistically, and he said "that's fine" bless him

Driving to a holiday in Norfolk and ds1 (3 months) had a poonami all over his car seat. We pulled into a pub car park and I grabbed ds and the changing bag and sprinted into the pub, leaving dh to clean the car. I walked into the pub, about 10am, and asked the barmaid if they had baby changing. She showed me the way. Ds screamed his way through the change as was hungry and the whole pub could hear his hysterical screeching. I came out the baby change and sat at the nearest table to breastfeed. I knew dh would be in soon and we'd spend money, but the barmaid had no idea. She immediately bought me over a glass of water and said she was just going to make me a cup of tea. It was so lovely of her and made me feel less self conscious about my screaming kid. When dh came in we ended up ordering breakfast and the barmaid spent ages making faces at ds and chatting to him while we ate

My three year old son had started having immense meltdowns when we went out, screaming and trying to run into the road (later he was diagnosed with autism). I could usually pick him up to keep him safe, and carry him home (we never ventured far!) but one day I had a heavy bag of shopping too so I was absolutely stuck - I couldn’t carry my son and the shopping.

It had been going on for twenty minutes when an older teenage lad came over and said ‘I’ll carry your shopping’. He walked with me to my front door, me carrying my still raging son, when I’d opened my door he put the shopping bag inside and I was effusively thanking him and he said ‘no worries, my little brother is just like that’.

I often think of that lad’s mum and how proud she must be to have raised such an empathetic and helpful son.

Me too! I'm 5 months with my second and having a good cry!

Actually crying reading these posts, how lovely!

I met a lovely older lady in the doctors waiting room when DD was about 6 months old, she was crying and fussing and turned out she had a chest infection. I looked a mess on about 3 hours sleep and the lady stopped as she was walking past, put her hand on my hand and told me "your doing a wonderful job my dear, she's lucky to have a mother like you". I cried my eyes out but it's stuck with me, every time I have a bad day I remember what she told me.

I had the most amazing cashier in a supermarket. My 7m old was fussing, she told me she couldn’t listen to him and to pick him up. She unloaded my entire weekly shop, scanned it AND packed it. Then wheeled my trolley to their cafe so I could feed him.

When I was in A&E with breastfed baby and they fed me (free of charge!) after I asked for a vending machine. I had missed dinner as it obviously wasn't planned and was very grateful.

We was at my SIL's wedding, I was sat in a little side bit for a bit of peace & quiet whilst I was breastfeeding our newborn, the lovely bar staff came up to me and asked if I needed a drink or if she could do anything for me it's always the little things that make stuff so much easier

Lovely posts and one thing that stands out to me is that several posts feature teenage boys- while people might not be surprised by older women/other mums etc helping out I'm guessing most would not expect the teenage boys to be so empathetic. Should teach us all not to stereotype!

Proper welling up at these!

My SIL met baby at 6 days old, she was in living room with my OH and I was napping when she arrived, I walked in and the first thing she said was "WELL DONE!" and gave me a big hug - welling up thinking about it now.

When DS was about 6 months old we were stuck in traffic on a hot day, he was screaming with hunger so I decided to pull into a side street to feed. But en route I got stuck down a really narrow dead end and couldn't reverse out, while DS continued to scream. I jumped out of my car in floods of tears and grabbed the first person I saw (who happened to be a delivery driver), intending to ask him to guide me out, but without any fuss he got into my car and reversed it out, while another passer by comforted DS and I. I'll never forget that.

I was breastfeeding my 6month old dc in a cafe, I was pretty tired but also happy to be sat down as it was quite peaceful.

I had my eyes closed and felt someones presence near by, I opened my eyes to find one the ladies who worked there cleaning the table next to me, she caught my eye and smiled, then asked me if I wanted a glass of water and a brew . I nodded very appreciatively and said ‘yes please, thank you’

The cafe wasn’t table service, you needed to go to the till but I was waiting till dc had had her fill, so this in itself was a lovely gesture.

The kind lady brought it over to the table a few minutes later and told me the tea was in her. I nearly cried from the kindness of it all.

I’ve actually found that the majority of people are very kind when you have young dcs. Helping with the pram, opening doors, talking and smiling to dc.

I remember the day when DD aged 2 was having an absolute nightmare of a tantrum in Tescos. She went under the till area so I couldn't get to her and then 1cafter the other her 2 wellie boots came launching out from under the conveyor belt and landed on different sides of the store.

While I was shakily trying to pay for my shopping while also trying to get DD back from under the till, 2 different people just quietly fetched the flying wellies and gave them back to me. Those few seconds of non judgemental kindness meant an awful lot to me.

When I had a newborn and 18 month old and they were both crying in the car, I tried four times to get out of the car parking space (person had come along and parked really close to it was a tight squeeze) I was getting more and more flustered and nearly crying myself. A man came and knocked on the window and kindly offered to do it for me. It took him only 2 secs and 10 years later I am so grateful.

When Dc1 was 2 weeks old I went to register the birth. Stopped at a cafe to breastfeed discretely (first time feeding in public) and an old lady chastised me. I left on the verge of tears only to find the lift in the multistorey had broken down. I burst into tears and a kind man carried my pushchair up 9 flights of stairs while his wife fetched me takeaway cup of tea. 18 years later I've still not forgotten their kindness.