Small things people have done for you when you’re out in public with a baby

[Tryingandhoping2020]

Twice this week I’ve been touched by small acts of kindness from strangers when out with my 8mo.

A few days ago outside a supermarket a lady came over while I was trying to placate frustrated DD and helped me pack my shopping into my car.

Today, I was grabbing a quick lunch at a fast food place and cleaning DD up after her lunch (purée, not fast food!), an employee came over completely unprompted to hand me some more napkins to clean her up with and asked if there was anything else she could help with.

Both very small things that neither lady probably thought twice about, but meant a lot to a tired FTM. Thought a thread would be nice to share lovely things that people have done in public when they see you struggling!

It’s not so much of a negative comment as one that you get alll of the time. It’s along the lines of double trouble - I used to reply and say we think of it as double the love 💕

I was feeding my 8 week old and a old lady bought me a bun over ... I cried !

Always helped by people with the buggy on tube steps - never had to ask

When DD was little we used to take a lot of train journeys and it was sometimes hard work keeping her entertained as she was very active. During one journey we shared a table with a woman and at the end she told me what a brilliant mum I was in the way I interacted with DD. I don't think anyone had ever said that to me before

Also a pregnancy one - I fainted on the tube and people were so kind. One man helped me off, a teenage boy gave me his water bottle. Actually they wouldn't have even know I was pregnant as it was so early, it was just general kindness

The older Mum that helped me when I was at the end of my rope after me 3 year old had a massive meltdown at Cadbury World (didn't know he was autistic at the time). She told me that we'd all been there and was there anything she could do to help? I burst into tears but it stopped my boy's meltdown. I will never forget her kindness for stepping in when everyone else stared.

The lovely lady at the children's centre who could see how frazzled I was with two under 18 months. She made me a cup of tea, told me to relax while the baby slept and took the toddler off to entertain. Thank you Anne, you have no idea how much that meant to me that day.

I made the mistake of signing up to a baby massage class for when my baby was 6 weeks old. Seemed a wonderful idea when I was pregnant with my first baby. It was on the other side of my city, over an hour on two buses. I dreaded the bus journeys and totally panicked if DD started to cry. People would tut and make comments like "baby's too hot" etc that I could do nothing about. Frequently on these journeys different women would speak and sing in their home language to DD to calm her down. It always worked as she'd stare wide eyed at hearing a new language. Then gradually the rocking of the bus would send her to sleep. I still feel immensely grateful to these various women for their gentle approach.

Oh aswell I was walking with my DS in a sling and he needed feeding, so sat on the floor outside a coffee shop and fed him , I didn't actually mind... the owner of the shop came out and said I could sit inside , but I said I didn't have any money to buy a drink as I didn't have my bag. (I'd never sit inside if I wasn't going to buy anything)
She said it didn't matter she would get me a drink

During A sudden thunder storm in town, I was trying to get across the car park with baby in her buggy and keep my three year old calm. Three men ran across the car park, one picked the buggy up, the other picked the three year old up and the other put his arm around me and all three ran across the car park with us into the shopping centre.
In Tesco’s cafe, the lady behind the counter brought me a coffee when I was feeding dd.

Lost in Holland. DH was working over there, I’d gone over to visit him with both dd’s, 18mth and 5yrs. during October half term. He’d taken us into town for the morning but was on afternoon shift so couldn’t take us back to the B&B. No problem, there was a bus. Good so far until the bus terminated in the middle of nowhere. We got off and I didn’t know what to do, it was all turnip fields and farm land. two couples asked if they could help, on hearing my dilemma they said the bus didn’t go the whole journey out of season and they recognised the address if the B&B and walked the three miles with us. They were so kind. The landlady recognised them and took them home.
Before they left one, of the men said they never forgot what Britain did for Holland during the war. It was his way of paying it back. I’ve never forgotten them.

@GlisteningGoldGrasses ah thats lovely. I used to do similar when I was a teenage waitress. I only speak English but babies were usually so surprised that they stopped crying!

The sainsburys delivery driver bringing in all the shopping and unloading it onto the kitchen surface when he saw I was feeding DD.

@Algarythmnmadness double the love - that's beautiful, next time I encounter a parent with twins, if I say anything it will be that :)

From the other perspective, I was talking on the phone to my older, widowed sister. She was telling me what a lovely day she had, and part of the happiness was being able to help a woman with toddler and baby.

She was so happy, saying "I haven't held a baby in years!" Poor mum was struggling to get unruly toddler into the car, and baby was fussing.

So just know that the joy also comes from doing a good deed, as well as receiving.

Oh that was long!
The man on the ferry who carried my 18 mth dd up the walkway, as I tried to console the five year old, she didn’t want to leave her daddy on the dockside and was clinging to my legs, I couldn’t manage both kids , the crew had taken the buggy and I was struggling. He got us onto the ferry, found seats and brought drinks over.

Once when DC1 was young he vomited in the car and luckily we were driving through a high street so stopped outside a corner shop to get something to clean him up. When I explained to shopkeeper she gave me carrier bags to put dirty clothes in, a pack of wipes and 2 rolls of kitchen towel (no charge) and then came out to the car and held the baby while I cleaned up the vomit.

with DC2 it was going into a coffee shop and he was so desperate for a feed he was screaming like mad so I sat down to nurse before being able to queue for a drink. One of the staff bought me a glass of tap water when she saw me BF and asked what coffee I wanted, made and bought it over and told me to pay when I was leaving.

Sometimes it's just the "you're doing a great job" comments from strangers that mean the most. I had that from an older couple when DD2 was a few weeks old. I'd had quite bad PND with DD1 so getting out on my own with DD2 so soon was a big deal for me.

Yesterday the lady on the self service in sainsburys offered to scan my shopping while I was holding baby (we ended up with more than expected because the toddler came with us!) I declined because the toddler wanted to scan all the shopping but she hung around to help put things in the bag if we got stuck.

Some of these stories are really lovely and made me well up.
M

I love the interactions you get with strangers when you travel around with a baby!

I was travelling on the train with my six year old and my baby in a sling, while wheeling a suitcase and a woman stopped in her tracks and said ‘oh! What do you need help with?! What can I do for you?!’ I didn’t need any help but it was so sweet.

I got on the tube and sat next to a grumpy looking woman who I thought had given me a bit of a glare when I got on, but she quietly asked me how old my baby was and told me he was beautiful.

An elderly man on the bus told me to sit next to him before anyone else could take the seat and then had the most lovely interaction with my 3 month old where they just gazed at each other smiling for the whole journey.

They sound like non events, but having soppy new baby hormones really does make you see the beauty in other humans. 🤭

So many! Small acts of kindness can really make your day. Someone who didn’t hesitate to buy the water I got for myself and toddler on a hot day because they didn’t take card for it. Travelling around London and people helping with the buggy without asking. Kind comments about the children being well behaved. Someone who stopped to see if I was okay and offered tissues when I had to pull over with my daughter being sick in the car. The ‘you’re doing a great job’ ones always make me feel emotional.

Someone paid for a few items I needed from the supermarket. I’d driven there, got a trolley (forgot the pram), picked up the bit. DS was crying the whole time. I went to pay and I’d left my wallet in the car.

My toddler had a complete meltdown in a waiting room and I was trying to get their coat back on, a lady nearby could see that I was struggling and offered to hold my baby whilst I sorted the toddler! I had to turn away so she didn’t see the tears in my eyes I was so grateful…

I was feeding baby in a supermarket cafe and a lovely staff member came over and asked me if I would like a magazine whilst I fed baby, such a lovely thoughtful gesture!

Recently DS decided to behave completely horrifically in the supermarket. I was really struggling with him and close to abandoning the shopping when he picked up and threw a dessert which smashed all over the floor. A very lovely lady helped me clear up and said "its your turn today, but it will be someone elses tomorrow" and that just made me feel so much better. And im always on the lookout for when its someone elses turn and i can pass that advice on!

Out with DD (13m) who was in the buggy and DS (nearly 2m) who was in the sling on Sunday. An older woman aged mid 50s asked me if I needed help putting my buggy on the bus. I didn’t but I really appreciated her asking.

Yesterday I was in Tesco with both of them at self checkout and had to bend my knees to pack the bag instead of leaning over because I had my son in the sling. One of the sales assistants offered to pack my bag. Again I didn’t need it but just really appreciated the kindness. It’s nice when people help out instead of turning a blind eye when you may be struggling

That’s lovely! My story is similar: feeding a voracious DD on a park bench and a woman brought me a latte and a massive piece of cake, truly delightful.

The lovely school dinner lady who insisted on taking them 6 week old dd who was asleep in her pram into the empty classroom and watching her so I could sit and eat uninterrupted with 5 year old ds at the school parents lunch.

The older couple who helped me when newborn dd projectile vomited an entire feed all over me, herself and the floor while I was sitting on a bench at a park while ds played. They got wipes and muslins out of the changing bag and held dd while I wiped my clothes down

I remember seeing a mum dithering outside a supermarket toilet with a child needing a wee and a full paid for trolley of shopping.

I asked did she want me to take the child to the loo with mine or wait with her shopping. We waited with the shopping and she was really grateful.

When DD was a toddler, we were eating in a posh hotel restaurant. She was the only child there.
At dessert, an older woman came over and started by saying everyone in the restaurant were adults ... I expected her to finish by saying DD shouldn't have been there but instead she said it was lovely to see a child in the restaurant, that DD was so well-behaved and ate so well and she thought I was a lovely mum. It was so nice and so unexpected, it nearly made me cry.