Toddler reins?

[december2020]

DS is 18months, loves being independent and walking instead of sitting in the stroller.
He is very "do it myself" which means he doesn't want to hold anyone's hand while walking, but a little too young to totally get road safety.

So I end up either carrying him across roads and on paths next to the road, or much to his dismay, putting him in the stroller to make sure he's safe.

Is there anything else I could do?

I never considered toddler reins but at the moment it feels like the only safe option.
Yes, I am the parent and I need to teach him, currently every road crossing and holding his hand results in him dropping to the ground and refusing to move (hence getting picked up or put in the stroller to safely get across).

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MNHQ

Get reins, but still work on the handholding for crossing roads.

Use reins.
My mother did with me & my siblings.
My reins had little jingling bells which I loved.
I wish more mothers would.
Better a safe child than the much worse alternative.

I can never understand the anti-reins stance - people who say a child is not a dog, etc.
So often they’re the best way to keep an active, inquisitive toddler with zero sense of danger, safe. They make life so much easier when you’re anywhere busy/near traffic, etc., not to mention when you’ve got shopping or whatever to carry. And if you’re tall, like me, holding a toddler’s hand non stop can really make your back ache!

Get them.
I used to say my toddlers safety and my anxiety are far more important than any Judgement from others - if that's what you are worried about.
We used them with my DS and now he is 4 he is not one to wander off at all

Reins were brilliant with my first, we used them all the time. They stopped working around 22 months with my second who'd drop to the floor on his bum or do a superman impression in them when he didn't want to walk or wanted to walk in a different direction to me.

Love our reins - lets DC explore and feel independent while also giving me peace of mind they can’t run into the road

I used them for my free-ranger. They were great. But still had to hold hands crossing the road - not negotiable that one!
DD was far more biddable, and less adventurous and I didn't need them with her. I always had them in the car/buggy just in case though.

I use this little backpack with reins for my 21 month old when she insists on walking! Sorry the pic isn't great - I took it yesterday as she insisted on using an umbrella in the sunshine but you can just about see the backpack and me holding the 'lead'!

Used reins for both of mine both the traditional type and the wrist strap type. DH and I both tall so that was part of it but we also lived by some v busy roads. The wrist ones were more flexible - a little longer so gave child more freedom and it was easy to hold hands while eg crossing road as I didn't have to hold reins as well as a toddlers hand.

I have had this enraged argument several times with my (male) friend, and I am still vehemently in favour of reins. No, the child is not an animal. But he doesn't understand road safety. When the child CAN understand the danger, that's when reins are no longer necessary.

This.

I've used backpack reins with both my DC, they are fab. I put the handle loop of the rein around my wrist and then still make DC hold hands with me, so I'm reinforcing the hand holding behaviour but the rein is there as backup in case they make a break for it.

We loved our reins!
My son had his freedom and I had the safety.
I made a big thing about the green man even at a young age and now at 3 he'll say wait for the green man.

Little backpack with reins. Aldi sell them in the middle aisles for about £8.

Reins are great! We used the type that clipped around the chest/shoulders and never had an issue. Also saved some bumps because if they trip you can stop them falling more easily. They're also good because little arms get tired being held up all the time.

I read a horrible story on here a while back about a mum whose son bolted onto the road and was killed by a car. Absolutely tragic and it really made me cautious about walking near roads without reins.

I'm a fan of them for DC like yours as the alternative is manhandling into buggy and a lot of crying.I lived in a city centre when I had two toddlers and they were really useful as I was on foot all the time.

My son has dinsoaur reins and a dragon backpack with reins. He'll happily wear them and we've been working on waiting for the green man at the lights.

Only really wear them when by a busy road but as soon as we get to the park it's go time!

I thought reins were ridiculous until I found myself with a toddler determined to run into the road!

Reins are brilliant, we used them from first steps to around 2 I think, when he started to understand what roads are and obey instructions a bit better. Some use them longer - my friend's only just started using them on her 3 year old because he's started running off. I wouldn't want a young toddler around water without them.

Mine hated holding hands at that age but was fine with the reins, I think because we started using them so young. Also useful for hauling them up when they fall over!

My DD has reins that are part of a back pack, so she thinks it's great as she can carry her teddy in her bag! If it's a wide enough path, I loop the rein handle over the pushchair handle (DS is still in a buggy) and she can walk around 'by herself' as far as she's concerned, but I have the confidence she can only walk as far as the reins allow

Used them with all four of mine. Definitely needed when out and about.

Yes, of course reins are a good idea for a toddler who wants to walk 'independently' but has no idea about danger etc. They allow much more freedom than having to be carried or put in a stroller.

No, a toddler isn't a dog. They're more precious with far less common sense.

Use reins, I always remember the poster on here who encourages reins as one of her toddler DC got into the road while out with her DH and sadly passed away.

I've always used reins with my two DC, my youngest is 2 and reliable now but she was a runner and we went through a stage where she didnt want to listen so we spent every outing with reins on just incase I wasn't fast enough that one time.

Following on from my previous post it was @MrsPresley and I'm just going to copy her post here incase its helpful for anyone.

My DS was hit by a car and died because his dad didn't put his reins on him (or his twin sister), he was in a hurry and thought for a short journey it wouldn't matter.

Well we all found out, in the worst way possible that it does matter, it only takes a minute to put them on, and it took less than a minute for my DS to end up under a car, while ExDH was distracted by DD.

Please please always use reins, no matter how short your journey, if you are near a road then put them on.

Believe me when I say you really don't want the life I have had for the past 28 years, I wouldn't wish that on anyone!

Even though I had another 3 children, there is a huge emptiness that will never be filled.

And thank you to the posters who have remembered me, hopefully on the next "reins" thread there will be some more parents who will remember me and please keep telling people how important reins can be 😊

Oh and if anyone says it's like putting them on a lead like a dog, well, would you let your dog run about the streets without a lead 😉

Another here who remembers that post from a MNer who tragically lost her DC. They’re a non-negotiable with my Uber independent toddler DD when she wants to walk, especially in the last few months as I’ve been pregnant and not confident that I could catch her if she bolted. I now can’t run after her because I often have DS strapped to me - as others say we’re still working on hand holding at the same time but frankly I’d rather not risk it and if people want to judge then they can go ahead tbh.

I used reins with ds and they were brilliant. Also great in shops where you want both hands to get your purse out or whatever and can loop them over your wrist rather than relying on your toddler to stand nicely next to you.
I used them for the same reason I use a lead on my dogs - neither was sensible enough to think about the consequences of not being next to me