Toddler reins?

[december2020]

DS is 18months, loves being independent and walking instead of sitting in the stroller.
He is very "do it myself" which means he doesn't want to hold anyone's hand while walking, but a little too young to totally get road safety.

So I end up either carrying him across roads and on paths next to the road, or much to his dismay, putting him in the stroller to make sure he's safe.

Is there anything else I could do?

I never considered toddler reins but at the moment it feels like the only safe option.
Yes, I am the parent and I need to teach him, currently every road crossing and holding his hand results in him dropping to the ground and refusing to move (hence getting picked up or put in the stroller to safely get across).

---

This thread is a bit old now, so if you have landed here looking for recommendations, we have recently updated our guide to the best toddler reins with products tried, tested and recommended by Mumsnet users. We hope you find it useful.
MNHQ

Heartbreaking.

Use them Op. They are brilliant for active children.

I used them when my son was little and I’ll use them when my daughter is a walker. Those saying toddlers aren’t animals, have they ever met a toddler?!

Big fan of reins - we had the backpack option both times - I think they sat better and my kids loved the independence of packing the bag! You cant trust a child that young around dangers and if they are free "reign" (see what I did there?) you lose those couple of seconds the rein give to stop them darting in front of a bike,scooter, car etc.

Reins didn't work with my DS. He acted the same as a cat when you put it on a lead, flopped to the floor and refused to move. We used a wrist strap instead, which worked very well.

We used a backpack with reins for DS as soon as he could toddle. We insisted on holding hands to cross roads and walking next to us/the buggy, waiting for the green man and all those things. Once I didn't have the reins on and he did run into the road and I was shaken, even though there was one car who was thankfully paying attention and stopped some distance away.

It only takes a moment for something to happen, as sadly told by the poster on another thread.

I don't get the angst with reins, I needed them for safety with DTs. I've said it before on here but my mum was looking after them one day and couldn't find the backpack reins, she clipped dog leads onto their belt hoops. The kids thought it was hilarious and if she hadn't she wouldn't have been able to take them out.

No they're not animals, but small people with mostly no road sense of sense of danger. Why wouldn't you keep them safe?

My almost 7 year old has significant additional needs and we use reins. A lot of people judge but I couldn't give a shiny shit, my child is safe.

Oh my gosh! That story is so tragic! It really does put things into perspective.

I may start with the backpack or wrist ones and see how DS gets on with them.
Also need to try practicing holding my hand at home and hopefully he'll start to accept it sooner than later.

FTM so I'm very green to this, but I didn't not anticipate having to train him so vehemently to hold my hand

Reins are an essential safety item for most children for at least some of their early childhood. Why would you NOT use them if there is any chance at all of your child ending up in serious danger without them?

I think perhaps the objections come from those who have witnessed misuse of reins; hopefully it's not common but you do occasionally see a parent trying to drag a child along by them. That is not OK; if the child won't walk where you need them to then it's time to pick them up and carry them / put them in the buggy.

If one child dies because they needed reins on and weren't wearing them, that's one child too many. And sadly this horrible loss has already happened to at least one Mumsnetter.

Same deal with car seats, if you ask me: children die from not being properly secured in a suitable and safe seat for their age/weight/height. Yet many parents take an overly casual attitude to car safety. We're nearly out of that stage now as DD is 11.5 years old, but she accepts that she still has to sit either in the very back row of the car (where the belt fits her OK boosterless) or use a backless booster until she truly is big enough to safely ride without a booster seat. A friend of hers is 10 and routinely rides in the front seat of the large family car without a booster - it's legal as she's over 135cm but it is absolutely NOT safe. The airbag would likely kill her if they crashed, even at a fairly low speed. Never mind the significant risk of permanent paralysis or death from 'seatbelt syndrome'. But the parents aren't bothered, presumably they think a crash is really unlikely and are willing to take the chance. I assume the same goes for reins; parents just assume that they'll have control of their child at all times, and assume that if the toddler gets away that they'll be able to catch them in time. It's not worth taking the risk though.

Yes, that was the story I read. So utterly tragic 🙁

I used backpack reins. My toddlers were much less sensible than the average adult dog so it seemed quite reasonable.

I found that DS became more willing to hold hands once we started using the wrist strap.

I use the shoulder strap kind for DD. We got the trunki brand ones. They’re absolutely fab.

Cute design so she doesn’t mind wearing them and much more comfortable for her than having to hold her arm up to hold my hand.

Try holding your arm in the position your DC have to be in to hold your hand, you’ll quickly realise how uncomfortable it is and how quick the blood leaves your hand!

Genuinely don’t understand the rein hate. Yes a child isn’t a dog… I’d be a lot more upset if my child was hit by a car than a dog! Why risk it?!