What's the most annoying advice you have ever had?

[Ohpleasestop]

People can't help but give advice and opinions on parenting and I'm curious about the most annoying advice you have ever had for parenting.

This is sparked by having some annoying advice, so I will start. My DS (2) has always been very active. We didn't introduce TV until he was a toddler and he watches in the evening and a bit during the day if we need a little break. Being active is just in his nature and would be hard to relate to his diet or sleep. Anyway, I was telling someone about him getting upset in a kids museum today because he couldn't get into a picture of a tram. They then suggested he might be tired and said he is more hyper than most kids toddlers they know. They suggested it might be because we stay so busy and that he would probably be less hyper if he spent more days just watching TV. I clarified and they were literally suggesting a whole day of TV about once a week. It's annoying because we only go out doing things because it keeps him happy and reduces tantrums and it implies that him being super active is a problem that I have created (I don't think it's a problem - it's tiring but he is who he is) when I'm exhausting myself trying to keep up with him! Also, I was just chatting about the day and wasn't expecting it.

I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

This person actually suggested you put a 2 year old in front of a TV for a WHOLE DAY? As a ‘solution’ to being active? Bloody hell. Well done you for maintaining composure!

The stupidest advice I’ve been given probably relates to sleep. I have a PhD in the anthropology of sleep and yet PIL just can’t resist: ‘wake newborn up now in the day and she will sleep longer at night…my babies slept through at 2 weeks old’ etc etc. I literally specialise in infant sleep and just have to take deep breaths…

I think any unsolicited advise is annoying even if it’s well meaning.

Probably the worst, and took the longest to undo because naive, 20 year old first time mum thag I was, didn’t know any better 🤦🏻‍♀️
My mum hit me with the nugget: “Keep her awake in the evening so she sleeps at night” 😬😳
Blunder of epic proportions. Overtired baby is the worst.

When you get divorced you get a lot of unsolicited and unwanted well meaning advice from people who have never been through it themselves. It's really annoying.

Years Ago now. Friend and dp said they were worried because I cuddled my baby too much, I needed to let her cry otherwise I'd spoil her. I have a well adjusted teenager and an ex friend and ex dp.

One on here that gets me on the difficult newborn threads - “have you tried a sling?”

YES OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE, im
glad it worked on your clearly not so difficult magic baby but not on mine! 😡 she’s a toddler now and it still irritates me 🤣

I find it annoying when you're in a situation that is clearly past the norm, but people persist in giving you the most basic obvious advice that you've definitely already tried,
for example I went to ADHD coaching with my eldest, and they started telling me that he should study for exams and how to reward good behaviour he is 13, not 2. I kind of thought I might get more specialised advice.

The other day on a thread about picky eating someone advised the OP to "just make sure your child gets their 5 a day" ooh gee thanks I never thought of that!

I know somebody with a child with dwarfism who was asked if she'd ever tried feeding him.

"Just co-sleep so you can have some rest"

Thanks, but I'd rather have a few months of sleep training unrest than a few YEARS of having a monster in my bed.

DD started having problems napping at 10 weeks, so would get overtired and cry (naturally). My mother told me I wasn't doing enough to entertain her.

I actually think the person who gave you advice had a bit of a point. 😂Maybe not about watching TV all day, but I've come to find that my kids do benefit (as do I!) from having a day where we don't go out and don't do much all day. When my kids were younger I prescribed to the school of thought that they needed to be out every day and DH compared our eldest to a dog that needed walked everyday! But he did actually start to mellow when we started having a day where we did nothing once a week.

I'll put my tin hat on now.

Worst advice I was given was sleep when the baby sleeps. Which is great if your baby a) actually sleeps b) can be put down to sleep. Instead my eldest (yes, the hyper toddler who needed walked everyday) was a velcro baby who refused to nap unless held.

Oh god this used to wind me up so much!

My babies were both large (both 9 pounds). I am only short and had bad backache in both pregnancies from lugging large babies around all day. I also had two csections. So when my kids were babies, my back and stomach were pretty much fucked.

There was a not a cats chance in hell I was going to continue to carry humongous off spring on my person any longer than I needed to. I would take the 16 hours a day crying over being incapacitated by back pain thank you very much.

“Just make sure the baby always naps in the cot”

unfortunately I bought a cot made of lava, I still thank my lucky stars she sleeps in it at night. But naps, get out.

Not related to children but the menopause. Instead of being prescribed HRT I was advised to go for a walk and take multi vitamins. Yes because that will replace the oestrogen my body is lacking.

One of my dc was a terrible sleeper, we are talking years… We tried absolutely everything, he was and is hugely active so I got told constantly to “wear him out”… zero difference and he is has been running and swimming since 4, we go out all time as we did think if he was physically exhausted he’d sleep but no..
My dc would go to sleep fine but woke constantly screaming and screaming , we brought him to drs , allergy tests , checked for dairy allergy once they were eating food, coslept, didn’t co sleep, sleep trained, pain relief for bad nights, osteopath, cut naps , we are consistent and obviously this was all tried over years , we didn’t change constantly. Absolutely nothing worked…. Nothing .. Eventually they stopped when they turned 4 but will still have odd nights of wakes at 8.
I nearly lost my mind and I was told my family members (who never once offered to help practically, not even once) that “we need to get his sleep sorted and that we needed to sleep”….. yup

If you ever ask for advice on here about anything related to a toddler you are told to put them in front of CBeebies. It really irritates me, as toddlers tend to follow you around anyway and plus most toddlers don’t have that span of attention. And of course it isn’t good for them.

’Sleep when they sleep.’

'Enjoy every minute!'

Agree @BertieBotts

The amount of times I've been told that a good bedtime routine would make dd2 (now 12) go to sleep. As if it wouldn't have occurred to me in 12 whole years.

Suggested by parents who's kids were put to bed at 7 and went to sleep. And multiple agencies, school, camhs, GP until we finally got a referral to sleep clinic age 10.

Only mothers, that. Fathers are somehow not expected to enjoy every minute!

I will say op though that due to having very active dcs (we have 3 dcs) and the magical combination of huge energy , bad sleep, we did end up going out a lot and doing physical activity. If we stayed at home all day they would climb the walls by 11am but much calmer if we burned off energy. The only thing is and it’s not a stealth boast as we find this hard, our dcs are now older , all v v fit , they are all into sports and outside of sports prefer to do physical things like running , jumping , cycling and they aren’t any calmer , their energy makes more energy. They can sit fine in school, at dinner , watching tv but they don’t have any tired cues and don’t get tired like other kids I see. Sometimes I think it’s over tiredness but they all sleep ok now , they just have a lot more energy than other kids and don’t rest much or seem to get tired.

@JomonotFomo , I got the same “have you tried a consistent, calm down routine “. I also get if ppl add trying to help but if someone is dealing with a chronic sleep issue they will have tried everything. Also I didn’t talk about it , it was in response to me and my dh lookinh exhausted long after having newborns and no it isn’t just the first 6 months that babies wake..

Lower your standards (no, they're my standards, I can't just stop caring about not living in a hovel)

Sleep when baby sleeps

Sleep when they sleep: no I can't do this because there is a life and responsibilities and jobs I need to do.

Sleep training/ignore the crying: terrible source of guilt and had better results when my DC were NOT ignored and left to cry it out. They were calmer and happier children when they knew I always came to them and was there for them. I may cuddle them for another 5 minutes and they would sleep vs them stubbornly crying for me for 40 minutes. I hate that I fell for that fucking Gina Ford book. It's cruel.

You can go anywhere with a baby: No you fucking can't. Many places are a nightmare to breastfeed in or have no baby changing facilities or room for a buggy. Hostile, unfriendly, unwelcoming environment of babies and buggies are not my idea of having fun even if we could technically go there.

From my boss when I was routinely finishing off his reports late at night "work smarter not harder".

“Enjoy it. They’re not babies for long” Ok yes, but not helpful to a tired, burnt out mummy at the time!