What's the most annoying advice you have ever had?

[Ohpleasestop]

People can't help but give advice and opinions on parenting and I'm curious about the most annoying advice you have ever had for parenting.

This is sparked by having some annoying advice, so I will start. My DS (2) has always been very active. We didn't introduce TV until he was a toddler and he watches in the evening and a bit during the day if we need a little break. Being active is just in his nature and would be hard to relate to his diet or sleep. Anyway, I was telling someone about him getting upset in a kids museum today because he couldn't get into a picture of a tram. They then suggested he might be tired and said he is more hyper than most kids toddlers they know. They suggested it might be because we stay so busy and that he would probably be less hyper if he spent more days just watching TV. I clarified and they were literally suggesting a whole day of TV about once a week. It's annoying because we only go out doing things because it keeps him happy and reduces tantrums and it implies that him being super active is a problem that I have created (I don't think it's a problem - it's tiring but he is who he is) when I'm exhausting myself trying to keep up with him! Also, I was just chatting about the day and wasn't expecting it.

I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

Christ alive. This!

It’s absolutely OK to not enjoy every minute if the some of the minutes are shit. Those are ones to reflect on and try to do something about if possible but if not, grit teeth and think it will pass, it will pass…I still wonder about the woman in Boots who told me to “enjoy every minute” with my screaming 3 month old and if she was actually trying to do me some kind of mental injury.

To make sure there was lots of noise around the baby or they won't sleep through any noise ever. And I still get 'you needed to make things noisy when he was little'. No, you were just lucky your baby would tolerate the noise. Not all babies are the same.

I once asked a health visitor for advice on what finger foods to give my baby.

She said sausages and chips.

Oh just co sleep! Right well my child sleeps upside down with their feet on my face and as I have twins they both have to be touching me so it's horrible when you've got 2 of them lying a stupid angles rolling and kicking all over the bed!

Yes! I had very severe morning sickness all day every day (prob verging on hg) Literally everything I ate would come back up.
People would say "have you tried eating a ginger biscuit when you wake up?"

'Lower your standards' when your house is constantly being ransacked by your children and you can't keep on top of the mess. It's the most depressing display of defeatism and does nothing anyone'smental health to feel that they are living in a hovel and just have to accept it.

On a practical note, I started decluttering bit by bit. I bought products to make my life easier such as a cordless vacuum cleaner and spot mop. I became more efficient at tidying up and started giving my kids jobs (and enforcing them).

I'm not a show-home kind of person by any stretch of the imagination. It's not like telling someone who wants an immaculate kitchen to tolerate a few crumbs on the side board. It's wanting a normal level of inhabitability and every room looking like it has been burgled, except the burglar put more stuff in it.

Yeah, mine also told me it's ok to give baby hot dogs if it means he'll eat something. He was 9 months old at the time.

As it happened, DS wouldn't eat any veg for ages. I read a book that promised practical advice and recipes for picky eaters. Most of the book was about the amazing life the author had when she lived in Spain when her kids were small. The advice was: just make them lots of salads and they'll have to eat it eventually. Recipes were, quite literally: chop up lots of veg and toss them in a salad bowl. Such a condescending, awful book.

"Enjoy every second"

Absolutely fuck off with this advice!!

Yikes there so much. I agree that any unsolicited advice is annoying. There's so much context in everyone's life that is just brushed over by over simplified advice. I've heard most of these things myself and seeing it all written down here makes it apparent how constant it is. Thank you all for sharing.

Also, I can see how having chilled days can help little ones unwind, but I do wonder how much it is child dependent about the age that the child can engage and appreciate it.

Yes, the same people that say lower your standards are the first to notice how dusty your skirting is or that last night's dishes are still unwashed or the fluff behind your radiator. Mess is depressing and when you have babies in a country where it often rains you spend a lot of time indoors and visitors want to see you both at your home... if it's a bombsite I'll feel more depressed and would not want any visitors so no I can't lower my standards, I'm already pretty relaxed!

Oh god to agree about the ridiculous lower your standards comments. My standards are already low and people saying not to worry about piling up laundry are being ridiculous as the last thing you need is no clean clothes for anyone to wear. Same with not worrying about not showing. Yeah because when you have no sleep and you still have to bring older DC to school etc you will feel really great about yourself if you are feeling smelly and wearing unwashed clothes

I meant showering

I can't remember annoying advice. I'm going to ignore the question and share my good advice (only because it shows off my wonderful MIL!)

My late MIL (miss her so much) when my now almost 16 year old DS was a baby told me "it's impossible to love your baby too much" and "keep his feet warm"

My old boss who had 5 DC told me "if you want to breastfeed just give it 6-weeks" (I had to combo feed to start and by six weeks everything just worked!

God I so agree with you! Mainly to be happy, enjoy being single (don't worry I won't go after your husband) and / or start dating etc.

I've found it so annoying!

My In-laws would Force themselves upon us when DD was newborn to 'help'. By help they meant be waited on and just want to hold DD- who at 1 month was only happy with her parents. God forbid helping by washing up or running the hoover round!
When she wouldn't stop crying I got asked "have you tried rocking her and shhhing her" no, I was playing death metal at full blast. Idiot.

'Have you tried ginger biscuits?'
I had severe hyperemesis and not even prescribed drugs touched it so no, a ginger biscuot wouldnt help.

'Sleep when baby sleeps'
Sure, but baby will only sleep upright, on my because she has severe reflux and laying her down makes her scream and safe sleep guidelines tell me I cant do this. So, when do I sleep? And no, she wont sleep on DH as he doesnt smell of milk. And yes, she still wont sleep on him even if he is draped in an item of my clothing.

I think the best one though, and the one that actually made me cry and consider putting my 6 week old up for adoption was...
'You just need to put in some more effort, try harder because youre the reason your baby isnt thriving'.
That was said by my health visitor when baby wasnt gaining weight. She said it was because i wasnt caring enough and couldnt be bothered basically.
The real reason was because I didnt have anywhere near enough milk to sustain a fly let alone a child. The feeding plan the health visitor gave me was branded dangerous by a midwife as it didnt provide anywhere enough milk considering I didnt have a decent milk supply. Baby also had a severe tongue tie.
This comment literally left me at rock bottom when I had tried so so hard to do everything I possibly could when I was so unwell following birth.
It still haunts me now, several months down the line and i do still question if i am good enough.

I was actually out earlier and breastfeeding my baby on a park bench, using a light blanket to cover my breast. An old lady asked me if the blanket was covering the baby's face and if she could breathe. I said yes she could breathe and then the lady protested that the baby's nose seemed very close to my breast. In the end I showed her and she accepted that the baby was able to breathe fine!

@RedHerring24 I'm sure there isn't a mother alive who has not been made to feel like a terrible mother at some point. I know I have! A doctore once asked if 'as a mother, don't you care about your child?' I sobbed after that. Remember, the evidence of how much you care about your child are in the daily, consistent patterns of loving them, providing for them and putting their needs above your own, generally. Making some mistakes, occasionally feeling overwhelmed, slipping up the odd time, dropping the ball etc don't count towards the general trend. The older your children get, the more obvious the general trend becomes and you can thereforw feel more confident that you are a loving, caring mother.

Use a sticker chart to award not crying 😯

Mil's best one was not to leave ds's naked (nappy - free) as they would get sexual feelings..

DD didn't sleep, was super clingy, and didn't talk coherently until she was 5. The amount of shit advice I got could fill volumes. My particular favourite was the complete stranger telling me to take her out of the sling as she was "terrified." DD fucking loved the sling, screamed her head off in a buggy, the evidence of this 'terror' was that she was holding on to one of the straps (as she gazed contentedly at her surroundings whilst squashed in close to me.)

Does advice pre-birth count? I listened to some annoying advice to not buy any bottles or formula in advance because "you might be tempted to give up breastfeeding more easily". Meant a needless rush out to Boots on day 10 when we were about to be discharged from NICU - DD had dropped below the 0.4th centile and the only way we got her weight gain going (and therefore allowed to leave hospital) was by topping up. Could have avoided a whole load of extra stress if we'd been a bit more pragmatic before she arrived!

"Enjoy every minute"

There were a few minutes of parenting my 3 kids today while dh has been away since Friday that i really did not enjoy

"the housework can wait"
Biggest load of nonsense I've ever heard.

"twins are easier because they entertain each other"

Clearly not said by a twin Mom. Also my twins were months old.

They'll party entertain each other now at 2.5, buy are much more likely to piss each other off and scream for me