Reassurance please- nearly 7 week old baby...

[Mp362]

Hi everyone

Looking for a hand hold and a bit of reassurance. I have a nearly 7 week old baby boy, who is absolutely gorgeous but I feel like I'm completely failing him.

He seems (to me at least) really unhappy. He showed signs of silent reflux for ages but they peaked over the past few weeks and I managed to get a prescription for omeprazole (mezzopram). Dissolvable tablets, minimum dose for his weight. Does anyone have experience of this medication and did it help? At the moment he can't sleep on his back, go in the pram etc. We are absolutely exhausted.

He also is a chronic nap refuser, and I can only make him go down in the sling. I'm struggling with this and becoming paranoid that I'm ruining his development because I'm not following specific wake windows, just getting him to nap as often as I can. It's really the best I can do. I've tried all other techniques for naps.

He just seems so unhappy, cries a lot especially evening, windy etc. Please tell me this will pass?

Hi, first of all, you are not failing him! My baby had terrible colic, hated being in the pram, the car seat, and pretty much anywhere except a baby carrier/sling for the first few months. I also had times when I cried as it felt like she was just so unhappy. Now she is 9 months and the happiest little thing! At about 5 months she got into a much better routine for naps, and started napping in the pram once we changed it over to the pushchair attachment, she now has all her naps in the pram, which I never would have believed in those early days! I know it’s tough but it really will pass, just get through each day as best you can and it will get better.

I don't have any experience with reflux but I definitely wasn't following any wake windows or routine at that age. Like you I just tried to get him to nap at much as possible which some days wasn't very much at all! Every day was completely different. He would only sleep on me and would wake if I moved a muscle! He is almost 8 months old now and I have to go in and wake him up from his naps! The newborn days are tough but it does get better, you sound like a great mum!

Go with whatever makes things easiest for you - there's no right way to do things other than what works for you. So if that's napping in the sling, then do that. Look up the 4th trimester - baby was inside you for 9 months and has only been out for 7 weeks, so is looking for that close contact, especially if he's been a bit unwell. Mine napped in the sling loads (now 3.5) with no ill effects! Remember, we're carrying mammals & our babies like to be close!

It passes. He doesn't want to nap cos he's got reflux. Mine didn't either. He's 9 now and fine.

Has anyone suggested or considered CMPA? Contrary to popular belief I don’t think babies are very often sad for no reason and what you describe sounds a lot like other CMPA babies I’ve known.

But don’t worry about the wake windows and development - at this age they’re all just totally random with their sleep and there’s no need for routine. Most babies are happiest sleeping on a parent, and the ‘it’ll hurt their development to not get the right sleep’ lines are sleep training bullshit not supported by science

You're being harsh on yourself and him.

He's too young for a routine, let him nap when he wants to nap.

My 2nd has reflux and gaviscon really helped, he came off it when he moved to solids.

Might be staying the obvious with some of these points but just incase.

Wind baby for a good 10 mins after feed and try and keep him upright/leaning for at least half an hour after feed.

Wedge his mattress or whatever he naps/sleeps on so it's tilted so he's not lying completely flat.

Oh OP I'm sorry but I was laughing as I read your post. I have 3 DC and I have no idea what a "wake window" is.

Having a baby is hard work, give yourself a break and just go with what baby wants. It will make you both a lot happier I promise.

Don't worry about ruining your babies sleep hygiene or whatever. How many 3 year olds have to be in a sling to go to sleep?- none. It isn't because none of their parents used a sling to get them to sleep. Babies are programmed to want you close (touching) when they sleep, they grow out of it eventually. The sling will also be good for keeping them upright after feeds.

Try not to worry too much, enjoy yourself and your time with your baby

Relax - at this age he is sussing out the outside world. If he wants to sleep, he will. It's not like a primary ge child or adult who needs a set sleep routine to function. Once he gets his reflux issue sorted, he will be much more comfortable.

My DD was diagnosed with silent reflux following weeks and weeks of her being really unsettled and miserable.
She was prescribed prescription formula in case it is caused by a cows milk protein allergy as well as infant Gaviscon and Omeprazole.
The Omeprazole was the last thing to try and after a few doses she was like a different baby. She is still on it at 6months old and doing well.

Like you OP, we found that DD hated anything that involved laying down. Our first trip out in her pram was a disaster and casued me to start hysterically crying because I couldnt calm her down out in public.
She wouldnt sleep well either unless upright on me ot DH.
I felt like the worst parent in the world because I didnt know what to do with her.

Honestly, 3 days after her first dose of omeprazole and everything changed.
We found that we would offer feeds every 2-3 hours but wind after every 1-2oz of milk and then keep her upright for 30mins once she was done feeding.
This seemed to really really help.
At about 4.5-5months something clicked and we seemed to suddenly be able to lay her down right after a feed without her vomiting everywhere. This was a game changer.
She does still occasionally bring milk up but nothing like the early months.
It does get better. But it is so hard to start with.
Youre doing an amazing job!

I haven't read the full thread but will he nap tummy down on your chest? My two refluxy babies slept best like this. I would just settle down with a drink, my phone and the tv remote.

becoming paranoid that I'm ruining his development because I'm not following specific wake windows, just getting him to nap as often as I can

I have no idea what a 'specific wake window' is but it sounds like you have been reading something that is based on total bunkham.

At 7 weeks you should be baby led - which means they nap when they nap and you have a cup of tea in relief.

Rest assured none of ours had specific wake windows. Please throw your strict books out of the window. I liked the Sears book about baby sleep, it was very reassuring.

Ds had bad reflux, the only place he wasn't screaming was being held or in his bouncy chair. I propped the head of his cot up so he was sleeping slanting & even put his chair in his cot so he could sleep propped up if it was a bad night. I also weaned him on to solids at 16 weeks as he was terrible on just milk, he was a different baby as soon as he was having something thicker than milk, I gave him baby rice & porridge made up with his formula, fed him some, then formula, then more solids. Speak to your health visitor about medication or milk for reflux.

Thanks everyone, it really helps to hear some sensible views! I think I've done far too much reading and convinced myself that baby should not be awake for more than 90 mins at a time, which Isn't really a thing with my DS. He does get grumpy and overtired though so I'll just pop him in the sling when he does. I hope that one day soon he will be able to take naps during the day without me marching around the block!

@BuffaloCauliflower I did question this with the GP but she said it's unlikely. Regardless I've gone dairy free just in case, so we'll see if that helps.

@RedHerring24 this js really reassuring, we've done dose 3 this morning so let's see what the day brings. Did you use the dissolvable tablets? So far, v grumpy!

Anymore views on when things get a little bit better please do share!

@Mp362 why did she say it was unlikely? It’s actually a lot more common than even doctors seem to realise

@BuffaloCauliflower not severe enough symptoms apparently, and no obvious signs in stools etc. He does get redness across his face and cheeks though and I wondered if its a reaction. Let's see if cutting out dairy works (he is ebf). Any other tips?

I hear you. You aren’t a bad mum - I often think we have midwives and then give birth and from then on it’s a fight.
My son didn’t and wouldn’t and couldn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes, breast fed until he was sick and it was continuous. He wouldn’t sleep unless on me - it almost brings me to tears thinking about it 8 years later!

I knew my son wasn’t right - constantly in a and e with high temperatures yet I was seen as a mum going through a divorce etc

unlikely means that some children will have it - so push doesn’t matter at the end of the day be polite but assertive.

I had to stop breast feeding and did so after 12 weeks as I just was exhausted and sleep deprived it was awful. At 5 months he started solid food.
He was diagnosed severely asthmatic at 2 years old and with other things. Trust yourself. Unlikely doesn’t me not do push for a referral.

Just a note to say don't worry, mine was an awful sleeper and wasn't into napping much as a newborn. Or as a 6m old for that matter... He's 11m now and so funny and curious. Still wakes a lot in the night, but he's definitely not dim.

Hey!! I have a 10 week old baby boy so I'm right here with you ❤️

My tips that I learnt:

• gaviscon infant sachets for reflux. Life saver!!! Please ask your GP about them.
• white noise, swaddle and dark room. Sleep associations have been amazing with my first and my first slept the night from about 6 months old. I am really hoping the same happens with my second and he is sleeping well so far (we have ups and down)🤞🏼
• be dedicated to putting the baby down for naps. It is totally worth it to get an hour or so to yourself. Try to be consistent and aim for the same sleep times every day. (I say aim because it never happens, but it's a good goal post)

You will struggle with the evenings and naps if your baby has reflux. It's uncomfortable for them to be led on their back 🙁

It really really does get better. The fourth trimester is really hard as you can't get anything done or have any time for yourself but just give yourself time. Count down until the baby turns 3 months and then look back on how far you have both come together ❤️

When we saw the paediatrician about the reflux issues they did say it can take up to 6 weeks for Omeprazole to work for some babies. Luckily it worked quickly in our case but a few weeks in we did have a relapse and she was very unhappy.

We have been prescribed the tablets that you dissolve on a spoon with water. They are 10mg and we give the whole tablet.
Now she has gained weight we have added an extra quarter of a tablet to her daily dose.
We have found that giving it via a Calpol syringe works well with DD laying on our bed. She sees it as a game now and holds the syringe while we push the plunger to give it.

@Mp362 on the subject of wake windows etc too.
At your babies age, let them guide you as to when they're tired.
I read online constantly about wake windows, scheduling naps etc and it doesn't work.
The phrase you can lead a horse to water etc springs to mind.
A baby will sleep when they're tired. And I found before 4months if you try to make them have a nap on a schedule you just have an angry baby.
I let DD sleep when she was tired, normally on me after 12 weeks as she refused to nap in her moses basket.
When she turned 5months I started trying a scheduled daytime nap around midday after a feed. I would feed her in our bedroom in the dark like it was bedtime and then pop her in her crib when asleep and use the baby monitor to keep an eye. She will nap for an hour or so now which I'm happy with.
At the same time we introduced a bed time routine which is going well so far. She is sleeping through the night (minus the rolling to her front and getting stuck but that's a different story).

My daughter stayed in the sling for about the first 8 weeks of her life. It was the only way to stop her crying. I learned how to use the toilet with her strapped on my front!

She was on Gaviscon from 3 weeks which really helped and then lansoperazole from 12 weeks. She was so much happier once she could sit up independently and start solids (early under paeds advice). She never lay flat in a pram and cried in the car until she was forward facing at 2 years.

BUT it does improve and they grow out of it and this is not your life forever. My miserable baby is now a delightful nearly 3 year old and those first hideous weeks are but a distant nightmare memory.

You’re not a bad Mum! I remember feeling like this too - it’s so so hard in the beginning.

Things that helped us:

• if formula fed or you’re expressing try Dr Browns bottles - the air vent really helps.


• have you been assessed for a tongue tie? Our DDs was missed and she was swallowing air making her windy. She had hers cut at 7 weeks.


• Omeprazole continues to be a life saver for us a year on! We put ours in a syringe and she takes it no problem. We put it on a dummy for her to suck off initially.


• Probiotics! Another lifesaver we still use. We use the Baby Gaia brand which are fab.


• what’s his latch like? Our DD was drinking air out the sides of her mouth. We changed her feeding position to side lying (lots of videos on Youtube) which helped her latch better.


• DD did have CMPA (covered in a rash etc) so try reducing or cutting dairy and see if that makes a difference.


• Hold upright after feeding - pain in the arse during night feeds but it really helped her tummy to settle and she’d settle when we laid her back down again.


• Repeat to yourself - it won’t last forever! My DD is 1 now and these days are a thing of the past so it will get better, I promise.

In term of wake windows, don’t put too much pressure on yourself!!! I took all that stuff very seriously and it caused nothing but upset. They dance to the beat of their own drum these babies and if he’s grumpy, get out with the sling or try a snoozeshade in the pram, whatever works for you and your tiny human. You’re not doing anything wrong and just going with your babies flow is completely the right and normal thing to do.

You’re doing so well (the fact you care so much about these things just shows how lucky your baby is to have you that you want to do your best for him) and these first months are incredibly hard. If you want to stay in all day and just survive then do it - you are all your baby needs right now.

My baby had reflux and colic, it was hell for the first 3 months but then he miraculously improved and is such a joy now. I never thought I’d see the day!

he was always very unsettled for us, hardly napped during the day and wouldn’t even let us sit down holding him, we had to be walking all the time!

for the reflux omeprazole worked wonders but took about 4 weeks to start working. He still threw up but it didn’t hurt him anymore. Now he’s 7 months and on solids we’ve stopped using omeprazole and he’s been fine!

he wasn’t too bad with going on his back at night though, so might be worth looking into a cmpa or dairy allergy?

colic is horrific, the worst time of my life but I promise it gets better. The best thing we did was start a bedtime routine - bath, pjs, bottle in dark bedroom then bed Every night. He used to scream the whole time except when actually in the bath, but he loves it all now and it really helped him sleep at night. We also used a love to dream swaddle which was a miracle worker for helping him sleep. Now he’s bigger we use a zippedee zip which is like a loose swaddle. He’s slept through almost every night since 4 months old!

I hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions x

Also agree with what others have said about holding upright - we used to hold him upright for half an hour before laying down to sleep otherwise he’d be sick. It was such a pain especially when exhausted in the night but worth it. I think when he was about 5 months we were able to stop holding him upright - mainly because he was more active and didn’t want to sit still!

becoming paranoid that I'm ruining his development because I'm not following specific wake windows, just getting him to nap as often as I can.

Hahaha, noooooo, it'll be fine. At that age mine didn't nap from 6 am till 4 pm, (although she sometimes surprised me wath a 9 am short nap) then about 2 20 minute naps between 4 pm and 11 pm. And almost hourly wakings at night. (Yes I was exhausted too).

Nothing worked except getting a bit older, she started napping longer and then dropped to one nap at around 11 months old but that was a long 2-3 hour nap and we try to get her to sleep at 7 pm but she mostly sleeps around 8 or 8.15 pm. I was worried because I read somewhere that they only grow when they're sleeping. Well that's clearly bollocks because she's average height and weight.

She's also hitting all her milestones on the early side, she's a very inquisitive bright little toddler, but is also extremely stubborn and if little miss doesn't want to nap then nothing can make her. She was simply born stubborn I reckon.