Reassurance please- nearly 7 week old baby...

[Mp362]

Hi everyone

Looking for a hand hold and a bit of reassurance. I have a nearly 7 week old baby boy, who is absolutely gorgeous but I feel like I'm completely failing him.

He seems (to me at least) really unhappy. He showed signs of silent reflux for ages but they peaked over the past few weeks and I managed to get a prescription for omeprazole (mezzopram). Dissolvable tablets, minimum dose for his weight. Does anyone have experience of this medication and did it help? At the moment he can't sleep on his back, go in the pram etc. We are absolutely exhausted.

He also is a chronic nap refuser, and I can only make him go down in the sling. I'm struggling with this and becoming paranoid that I'm ruining his development because I'm not following specific wake windows, just getting him to nap as often as I can. It's really the best I can do. I've tried all other techniques for naps.

He just seems so unhappy, cries a lot especially evening, windy etc. Please tell me this will pass?

Thanks everyone some great tips here (and generally very reassuring posts) it's so appreciated. We have had another horrible day and night where he wouldn't stop screaming and was exhausted- everytime he latched on to feed he would fall asleep and wake up 2 mins in screaming. No idea what to do- think he is starting to struggle to latch and my supply isn't great on one side anymore following a bout of mastitis. This is so stressful

@Mp362 I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

totally up to you but have you considered topping up with formula for a bit or even switching to formula? I’m no expert on breastfeeding (my baby refused to feed so I had to do formula pretty much when we left hospital) but formula may give you a bit of a break and help to just get some food in him for a bit. I was advised because I was so stressed and struggling emotionally to stop trying to breastfeed and just do formula and it has been so great for me. Obvs this was just my experience, not trying to push you in any direction but just putting it out there. I had a lot of guilt with not breastfeeding, it took me a while to let it go. I knew what I was doing was best for my baby as he was being fed, but I struggled thinking that others would judge me.

I really hope things improve soon, I can’t be much help in the way of breastfeeding issues but I fully sympathise as I remember the colic days and it was horrid. If all else fails in most cases it does improve by 3 months and all this will be a distant memory, but I know that doesn’t help you right now!

sending hugs! X

Just on the omeprazole, my DS started on it about 8 weeks old. He had terrible silent reflux so naps and bottles were battles (poor little lamb was in pain!) and he was dropping down the weight centiles.
We tried gaviscon sachets first but they caused horrific constipation and it was just switching one problem for another!
The omeprazole took about 4 days to work, we had the dissolvable tablets too. I had to take him to be weighed fairly frequently to make sure his dosage was correct for his weight but that was no hardship.
Once it kicked in, the omeprazole did the trick and he was a different baby. So happy and enjoyed his feeds and climbed back up the centiles. Every couple of months we tried to wean him off to see if he still needed them. I think he was about 1 when he came off them.
No ill effects at all, he's a beautiful 4 year old with no issues and he's healthy weight and height and everything. I was really stressing about giving him regular medication so young but he was in pain and it needed to be done!
Good luck OP I hope it kicks in and works for your little one

@TeethingBabyHelp totally agree, omeprazole was a god send for us. Feeds were no longer a tearful battle. Gaviscon just made our big constipated too, it basically just thickens the milk. We found comfort milk to help in that it’s slightly thicker and helped him keep it down at least, but it did give him green explosive poos

Thanks @TeethingBabyHelp and @Cafeaulait27 . We're on day 4 and it's been as bad as ever. I wonder whether dosage isn't quite right for DS. Can I ask what dosage yours babies were on for their weight, out of interest? Can then pick up with GP next week.

I'm starting to feel so defeated. I just want him to be ok- I don't expect life with a newborn to be remotely easy but this feels just awful. I just would like some more happy moments and I'm so worried that things wont change.

Every single new mum has been there and felt like this. It is completely normal and it is especially hard with reflux as they don't settle 🙁

From my personal experience, I found the first 3 months the hardest with my first. I promise you it gets better and the happier times are coming.
The challenges change... but they are more manageable and get mixed in with amazing moments xx

@Mp362 I can't remember the dosage I'm really sorry. I just remember having to dissolve a table then once dissolved had to draw some up with a tiny syringe.
Did GP say how long to give them chance to work?

I'm sorry I can't help re the reflux but napping in the sling is completely normal at this age and so, so beneficial for them! Upright position is good for development (and prevents flat head!) and babies LOVE being so close to mum! Honestly please don't feel bad at all about this. I specifically took my babies on lots of nap walks in the sling because of how good I felt it was for them!

Solidarity from someone who also has a 7 week old asleep in the sling as I type! This is my second child, and with my first I had a lot of the same worries you did about habits etc as he was also a nap refuser (although was lucky enough not to have reflux issues).

This time around, baby 2 does have reflux (although it doesn't seem to be bothering him in the same way as for your baby), and I've accepted that he will just take all his naps in the sling for the immediate future.

The best piece of advice anyone ever gave me was "it's not a problem until it's a problem": i.e. do whatever you need to do to get through today and only change things if they're not working for you or baby rather than because you think you "should".

Good luck. It feels never ending at the time, but this phase will be over before you know it.

We are going through this atm. I started a thread recently and we had lots of excellent guidance from very kind posters.

In the midst of it so can’t give too much info as still figuring it out.

But I can say Gaviscon Infant was horrific for us. Absolutely did not sit well with our boy.

Also omeprozle dissolvable tablets do not exist - they are dispersable because the active part doesn’t actually dissolve. The little grains at the bottom are the active medicine so it is impossible to dose correctly. Draining the cloudy water off the top is not giving any medicine, and drawing up grains is dangerous as you cannot control the dose.

Go back and demand liquid suspension. It’s utterly unacceptable they all seem to prescribe this when it’s obvious it’s not correct. I had to go and show GP the grain issue before they took us seriously.

Wake windows are made up. Don't worry. Follow the baby and not the book (or Instagram "expert").

You're doing a good job

My son was like this. He was moved onto CMPA prescription formula but the reality was it didn't really improve until he could sit up at 5 months old. Those saying let him nap when he naps rather than working to wake windows have obviously never had a baby like this that literally doesn't nap. My son I had to put him in the sling with a muslin over his head and sway back and forth and even then if I stopped he would wake and he would nap for maximum 20 minutes until he was about 9 months old.

My advice would be:

• don't expect a silver bullet. I tried everything and nothing made a significant difference
• try to not over stimulate baby. My son is now 11 and incredibly bright and looking back I wonder if he was just too interested in everything and frustrated that he couldn't do anything.
• give yourself a break. It won't hurt to leave your son somewhere safe, crying his lungs out, for a few minutes while you take a breather. My son gave me PND and there were moments when I totally understood how women shook their babies, as much as I would never have done it.

It will get better, it just might not be soon. Chances are whatever is upsetting him he will grow out of. And you probably have a smart one.

Good luck x

i was told it could take 4 weeks to work and it did! But I was given the liquid (the pharmacist mixes the tablet and the water in the bottle together somehow, I never saw it) and then it had to be kept in the fridge. I used a syringe and had a taste once and it was sweet so I didn’t feel bad about giving it to him. He loved the taste once he got used to it! I think he was on 3.5 and he was about 12 pounds. We actually never increased the dose but he seemed fine on that dose until he came off it at 7 months weighing almost 18 pounds.

it didn’t solve everything for us, he still had colic but the omeprazole was amazing for making him not upset during the day or during feeds, so it helped my stress levels massively. I remember how horrible it is having a baby that is unhappy all the time.

the first three months with a baby are honestly horrid, I thought I’d made a terrible mistake. But it really does get so much better. I think ours napped in his sling all day too, he didn’t nap in his crib until around 3 months x

Thanks everyone. We thought we had a bit of a breakthrough last night when he snoozed happily, but he's now been up all night made the mistake of trying to put him on his back both in the bed with me (safely) and in his snuzpod. He woke up everytime, probably due to the reflux but who knows at this point. DH had to take him out in the sling for two hours at 5am. I nearly got him back to sleep with rocking and white noise but he resisted it so much. I'm completely at the end of my tether, I'm so sad he is upset, but I'm also exhausted and we cant go on like this. Im going to ask for the liquid suspension from the GP first thing Monday.

I agree sling naps are completely fine, but it can't be the only way we can get him to sleep, especially when it involves leaving the house every time. I would happily have him sleep on me for every nap, I just would like it not to be such a battle. I feel incredibly low.

@LemonSwan would you mind posting a link to your thread please?

My second had silent reflux and around this time, 5 - 8 weeks was so hard! Like you she wouldn't tolerate lying on her back at all. DH and I had to take turns holding her all night then I held her all day, while having a toddler to run around with. It nearly broke us all, and led to me stopping breast feeding because I needed short breaks of not having her attached to me. You are doing great! Gaviscon did nothing except add constipation to list of problems. Omeprazole really helped though and I saw a big difference within a couple of weeks. You need to make sure dosage matches baby's weight so it will keep changing. You aren't failing your baby at all! If anything you are championing for them to get the medicine they need. Can be hard if weight gain is ok to get silent reflux recognised.
By 10 weeks my baby could sleep in her crib at night, by 16 weeks we started reducing the omeprazole dose and by 5mo she was off it. She's now 7mo and her sitting upright and eating solids has also helped. It's still not completely gone but she just has short moments of discomfort/squirming. You will get there! Good luck!

Absolutely love that!! I couldn't agree more.

Sure OP, here it is…

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4554424-help-please-3-week-old-reflux-medication-breast-feeding

There’s a lot wrapped up in there that’s not relevant to you (weight loss, breastfeeding issues, and quite a traumatic event for us) but there’s also a lot of really great advice on the medication and the reflux.

We only found out about the dispersable being the wrong format because we have an excellent pharmacist who angrily refused. She seemed to know more than anyone we had spoken to up to that point and I am so glad we stumbled upon her.

We are currently doing a no medication trial as our boy was quite a happy puker (bar the incident) before the Gaviscon and we are not sure whether the Gaviscon made it worse or it’s progressive so trying to give him time to heal his gut flora with probiotics.

We are using the off shelf Abidec Immune Support drops at the moment, but will move up to the Labinic probiotics which NHS have used recently in NiCu trials next week maybe.

We are also doing upright feed positions, letting him settled on a 45 degree tilt for an hour after feeds. Using a dummy when he goes to sleep and for transfer to cot on tilt. The dummy allows him to suck when the reflux rises and swallow it back down - also encourages digestion and stomach to empty quicker.

As it currently stands a couple of weeks in - it’s hard work but reasonably manageable compared to how inconsolable he was on Gaviscon. I think our bar has been so dramatically shifted that it somehow seems ok even though most would be pulling their hair out.

If it gets worse we will go back for the Liquid suspension.

Hard work these refluxy babies! Goodluck OP ❤️

I don’t know anything about reflux but both mine had colic, DS2 less than his brother as we discovered colief and dr browns bottles.
Colic had gone by about 11 weeks, you just have to get through these first weeks. I wouldn’t place too much reliance on books about routine. Both of mine were pretty much in a routine but I know plenty of families where this didn’t work and they had to go with the flow.
Best advice we had from our HV re DS1 colic and awful evenings was to bath him later when he was calmer so we bathed him at 11 at night. Everyone thought it was nuts but it worked. We just got through the bad evenings by swapping him between us and when he was quieter we bathed him before his late feed. Calm and easy.

I’ve never heard of a wake window.